67 replies to this topic

[WillDiveForBeer]

Is it Just me and pls Dont Take this personnaly just Fact Finding and what i have realized. Is the diving community or atleast the online one i have met all Older then i am. Let alone find Someone My age i gotta find someone that likes my hobbies lives in southern cali has time to do things. I got a Feeling i am looking for that needle in the haystack routine. Is there any hope out there for me or should i wait until i get older does it get any easier then.

Hey... All I can say is good thing you didn't post this in a trip thread and go on the trip. Look back somewhere in the Fiji trip thread, I posted something to the effect of I wish there were more younger females going on the trip and 1/2 of the women wanted to bite my head off. At the same time, those same people were not in tune with my humor, since they were 15 years older than me, we didn't listen to the same era of music, yet age doesn't matter, according to them. Age matters when you want to know if they have seen the new Family Guy movie on DVD, did you catch that episode of Tom Meets The Mayor or Futurama and talking about concerts you saw while growing up.

I feel your pain, I wish I ran into more people my age while diving. I've ran into a few people who were in their early 30's, which for me is just a few years older, but not quite your age range.

A quick word of advice, be careful to mention about how YOUNG you are or how you wish there were YOUNGER people going on trips, because it might just come back and bite you in the butt. But, if you're like me, you won't heed it because you'll have just as much fun rubbing in how much younger you are (and anything else that goes) and watch how sinister those people on the trip get; getting the enjoyment of seeing their blood boil while you're laughing inside and they think they are getting the best of me while in reality, I enjoyed the game and played it well.

-Mike-

[TekDiveGirl]

That's a pretty pessamistic way of looking at things. No offense, but if you and I were buddies I wouldn't want advice like that. I'm always on the hunt(unless I'm in a relationship). I don't count on things to happen everyday but I'm always looking because it's the thrill of the chase that I love. If you go through life unwilling to try and seek out then what's the point of living. Sure there's plenty of people who go through life without finding that "special someone" and they're happy with their lives, but it seems like people who have found that person seem to really enjoy life...of course there are exceptions to both examples. My advice is to not give up in any way. When you fall down you get up, if things don't work out everytime who cares? You missed your chance with one girl...so what, that's why there's 3,000,000,000+ out there.

Hrmm --- maybe that is the difference between being in your 20's and being in your 30's.

I don't feel the need to be in the hunt.

I am quite happy and satisfied with my position in life. Does that mean I would not enjoy having somebody there to share with at the end of the day -- absolutely not -- but do I *need* that -- no. I don't need to be either in a relationship -- or looking for one. I'm not constantly scanning the sea of humanity looking for my next potential mate.

If I come across a guy who sparks my interest and knocks my socks off -- great -- but I am not out searching for it.

[Dive_Girl]

TekDiveGirl ->

[bahloola]

dont get me wrong i dont neeeeed anyone to make me happy. i enjoy life the way it is. making money going to school and enjoying things in life whenever i want. but then again at 23 even if it is 1 in 10000 i got lots of time. i am in no rush and no i am not saying i cant party with older people or there is something wrong with them because a lot of my best friends and best party people are actually quiet older than i am but those are friends and people i come to with problems or advice not someone u start realtionships with. i know life is all about growing up and learning and experienceing new things but hey i think it might be that much better with someone else that shares my interests. heck what i was really looking for is someone to dive with in so cal i cant really find a dive buddy i can enjoy myself with or anyone that can get the same amount of time off as i do so ohhh well just what i was thinking and pls dont take anything personally its just thoughts i am not calling anyone old hehe

[annasea]

Let go, brother... and find yourself first. Forget about meeting anyone, and get on with life. Don't make finding "that special someone" a mission, because in all likelihood... you won't.

Look at it this way. JUST FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT, Let's say that there 100 different types of men, and let's also say that there are 100 types of women. So, the probability of any one man meeting one woman with the right type is about 1 in 10,000. Looking for a relationship to make one happy makes about as much sense as using the state lottery for retirement planning. You might get sex and genuine companionship out of it (the relationship, not the lottery), but happiness... not likely.

Interesting post, Kerry.

People should indeed find themselves first. The main reason so many people are so unsatisfied with themselves and their lives is that they're not content or comfortable with who they are. (How's that for a "Duh!" statement? ) I have a poem on my fridge, that while not very well written, has a wonderful ending...

"I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments."
~Oriah Mountain Dreamer

But what is a *special someone* anyway? Your definition may be vastly different than mine. Same as *happiness*. Yes, a definition can be found in a dictionary, but how these words and phrases resonate with you may be very different for me. That's why the Soul Mates thread was so interesting; what some people gladly referred to as a soul mate, I merely thought a companion.

The movies and TV and society in general all have us believing that we're not complete without another person. There's something "wrong" with us that we are constantly needing to fix. We have bad breath. The shoes we have aren't getting the job done. We're lonely. We'll get laid if we buy a Harley. We chase cars, we chase apartments, houses, soulmates, clothes, furniture,... chase, chase, chase. We are constantly getting our hopes up for a miracle, and when it doesn't happen... we think, "darn, what did I do wrong?".

This is so true! Especially the bit about blaming oneself. Humans are generally social creatures and need one another, but I find it hard to believe at times that there really is a *soul mate* for each and every one of us. (But, again, the phrase is open to interpretation.)

Just let go, brother...if the right lady comes along, that's great... if not, well, that's great too.

Ahhh...the hard part...acceptance.

[bahloola]

This is so true! Especially the bit about blaming oneself. Humans are generally social creatures and need one another, but I find it hard to believe at times that there really is a *soul mate* for each and every one of us. (But, again, the phrase is open to interpretation.)

i know u said to interpret and so... i think one should believe there is a soulmate out there for everyone some are found and some are not weather luck or happen to be in the right place at the right time no one knows but there is no sense in just saying it doesnt exist and grab the first thing that comes by. i think that might be the problem with todays society and why there are so many divorces and stuff. i being a young looker cant give up hope at such a young age. gotta look forward to something but nice poem though.

[annasea]

This is so true! Especially the bit about blaming oneself. Humans are generally social creatures and need one another, but I find it hard to believe at times that there really is a *soul mate* for each and every one of us. (But, again, the phrase is open to interpretation.)

i know u said to interpret and so... i think one should believe there is a soulmate out there for everyone some are found and some are not weather luck or happen to be in the right place at the right time no one knows but there is no sense in just saying it doesnt exist and grab the first thing that comes by. i think that might be the problem with todays society and why there are so many divorces and stuff. i being a young looker cant give up hope at such a young age. gotta look forward to something but nice poem though.

Bahloola,

I think you may have misunderstood my post somewhat. I'm certainly not saying to *grab the first thing that comes by* and give up hope. The reason that some people DO grab the first thing that comes by is because they're afraid of being alone. They're not comfortable with themselves and/or they give into societal pressures.

I think what Mongoose, TekDiveGirl, myself and others were saying is that people need to be comfortable with themselves first, and to consider themselves *complete* on their own, rather than waiting to find someone to complete them. (This wasn't necessarily directed specifically at you; topics have a tendency to meander somewhat here. Personally, I thought you were just looking for some people your own age to dive with, not a lifelong partner.)

I would love to find a *soul mate* (my definition), but I'm also prepared to accept the fact that it may never happen. Either way, I'll still be *happy* just being me.

[bahloola]

i know sorry if i came across that way didnt mean anything by it i am actually looking for a dive buddy first and if if it works out from there and she happens to be female and all the right things then so great but rather find a dive buddy hehe there are some things more important than girls at the moment this diving bug has me from head to toe. i got about 10 dives in the last week between work and school but my neighbor/dive buddy is out on vacation and he is a lot of fun but there is room for more thnx all for the advice and opinions

[TraceMalin]

there are some things more important than girls at the moment

Son,

Don't let your elders (that would be me & Norm), ever hear you say anything so foolish like that ever again. Go after them now while they're still attractive, romantic and care about guys.

You just listen to us and to positive people like Morris0352 (who'd probably find a way to ask a girl out in the middle of a firefight -- rock on!) and you be proud to chase after any cute girl you want whether she's in a skirt or a wetsuit.

Later on, when they're not so attractive, jaded beyond belief, and don't know you exist because they have to get the kids to soccer practice, that's when you start hanging out with the guys.

Once you can no longer take the attitude and the neglect, then you start cave diving.

Trace

Edited by TraceMalin, 09 November 2005 - 03:41 AM.

[bahloola]

Trace i like your thinking!!!!!!!! Atleast the male side of the advice is what i expected it to be

[Walter]

Trace, don't fill his head with nonsense. Women get more attractive as they age.

[annasea]

Women get more attractive as they age.

You tell 'em, Walter!

[cmt489]

The worst thing you can do is to try to find someone because this is what you think you need to do. Instead, enjoy your life and your positive energy will attract the right person.

Myself, I didn't get into diving until I was 29 but I noticed when I was taking my drysuit class that there were a lot of females in their early 20s taking their OW course. Likely a large part of the meeting people your age who dive problem is that many people (myself included) do not think to get certified until they are making a trip to somewhere tropical. For many this means waiting until they can afford the trip.

My advice - enjoy your life and things will fall into place. Plus, don't forget, even if the right girl is not a diver when you meet hear does not mean that she cannot become a diver while you are together!

[madlobster]

I predominantly dive with guys who are older as well.  It's not a problem and they typically have more "toys" like boats!  It's all good! 

Ah yes, it is about the toys The more the better!
On the real side of things, enjoy life! Things will come around when you least expect them "hunting" may get you temporarily staisfied but in the long run it will take time to "develope". Take time and smell the roses

[jextract]

Hey, us oldsers can party like there's no tomorrow ... cause for some of us there isn't! I make a hell of a Geritol martini, too. Now run along, son, before I beat you with my walker.