141 replies to this topic

[ScubaHawk]

well, kinda along the same lines, what would you guys *really* think about a girl basically saying 'how 'bout it?' after several rounds of glances, teasing, drinks, talking dirty, whatever? i get the feeling that the answer would be 'no' just out of being startled, but i've only tried it once. (it didn't work.) so what's the scoop?

and ellen, if you'd rather me ask in a different though related thread, feel free to ask a mod to move the post.

Sadly enough, that's about the only way to get my attention, and that doesn't work some of the time. In my line of work I get flirted with, come on to and propositioned dozens of times a night, most of them are nowhere near serious - it's all just a game. Mix that with an incredible lack of common sense, unless the woman is incredibly blunt, I'm mostly clueless. I've had friends chew me out on the way home, because I left two lovely ladies in a bar, arguing over who was going to take me home - and I hadn't even noticed they were flirting with me. So the preliminary moves are up the the woman, but once I get the hint (subtly applied with a 2X4) I tend to lead.

[normblitch]

well, kinda along the same lines, what would you guys *really* think about a girl basically saying 'how 'bout it?' after several rounds of glances, teasing, drinks, talking dirty, whatever?  i get the feeling that the answer would be 'no' just out of being startled, but i've only tried it once.  (it didn't work.)  so what's the scoop?

and ellen, if you'd rather me ask in a different though related thread, feel free to ask a mod to move the post. 

(speaking from an era of When Sex was Safe, Deep air was KING, and I never filled an AL80 over 4600#)

Been there, had it happen, at 0200, when you are dragged by the Jewels from your Prize Bar stool, many (if not most) Men are helpless.

Fun?...sure...

That is unfortunately ALSO how I met MY Fatal Attraction crazys in my checkered past.

If you felt at some point in the banter & play that there was an erotic spark, sure, go for it! But, remember, I said Many & Most, not ALL men...

nhb

[Basslet]

well, kinda along the same lines, what would you guys *really* think about a girl basically saying 'how 'bout it?' after several rounds of glances, teasing, drinks, talking dirty, whatever?  i get the feeling that the answer would be 'no' just out of being startled, but i've only tried it once.  (it didn't work.)  so what's the scoop?

and ellen, if you'd rather me ask in a different though related thread, feel free to ask a mod to move the post. 

Marci, I think your thought process flows with my post, so no need to have it moved, because actually, that was another question I had. If the woman does make the first move, does the guy feel:
1) immasculated
2) flattered
3) shocked
4) all of the above
5) none of the above

(Taking this thread on a slightly different path is hardly the same as the "gold-digger wants drinks for free" 180) I can buy my own drinks, thank you very much.

Edited by Fairybasslet, 14 November 2005 - 04:10 PM.

[PerroneFord]

A woman who makes the first move is right up my alley. Honey, of you want something, get it started.

[WreckWench]

A woman who makes the first move is right up my alley. Honey, of you want something, get it started.

That's what I'm talking about!

[WreckWench]

A woman who makes the first move is right up my alley.  Honey, of you want something, get it started.

That's what I'm talking about!

Ok on a slightly more serious note...

Women CAN and should send signals that they are interested in getting to know someone. And these signals should be interpreted as interest but not an invitation to jump in the sack...unless expressely stated as such.

For example...if I want to get to know someone better I can send a pm to them commenting on a post they made...or comment in their profile (READ THIS GUYS...make posts and fill out your profiles so you can give us SOME reason to contact you!)

Just ask Neptuner and a number of other guys on the site who regularly get messages from gals talking to them because of some meaningful post that they made or something interesting in their profile. (NOTE: They are not asking for sex...merely opening up dialog to see if they are interesting and/or interested in them and vice versa.)

If good dialog occurs I may even suggest we go diving together or see what trip they may be going on so I can plan accordingly. Or tell what trip I'm on in the outside chance they go on it as well. Why do this? Well safety for one and of course if there is NO chemistry...you still have LOTS of other fun, single & buddyless divers to hang out with! AND...your vacation plans NEVER get cancelled because you didn't actually make those dives with the person you found interesting afterall.

Then if it goes really well and the online meshes with the in person and we find ourselves in THAT instant that Ellen described then I think Kim is right...by now you should know what my boundaries are and most likely you've already been pushing them or else you woundn't have gotten this far.

I think time and communication also plays into this equation and perhaps there are some generational issues as well.

[GentDiver]

Marci, I think your thought process flows with my post, so no need to have it moved, because actually, that was another question I had. If the woman does make the first move, does the guy feel:
1) immasculated
2) flattered
3) shocked
4) all of the above
5) none of the above

I definitely feel flatter. It's a great feeling to have someone show interest in ya...
It doesn't happen very often (at least to me) so I am always very flattered.

I think time and communication also plays into this equation and perhaps there are some generational issues as well.

Time and communications are always key to any type of long term relationship. It's also the thing that you have to work the hardest at doing...

Scott

:lam:

[normblitch]

well, kinda along the same lines, what would you guys *really* think about a girl basically saying 'how 'bout it?' after several rounds of glances, teasing, drinks, talking dirty, whatever?  i get the feeling that the answer would be 'no' just out of being startled, but i've only tried it once.  (it didn't work.)  so what's the scoop?

and ellen, if you'd rather me ask in a different though related thread, feel free to ask a mod to move the post. 

Marci, I think your thought process flows with my post, so no need to have it moved, because actually, that was another question I had. If the woman does make the first move, does the guy feel:
1) immaculated
2) flattered
3) shocked
4) all of the above
5) none of the above

(Taking this thread on a slightly different path is hardly the same as the "gold-digger wants drinks for free" 180) I can buy my own drinks, thank you very much.

#2....

AND, if I feel the Chem ISN'T right, or if I find her just plain personally unattractive, I her let down gently and without embarrasment or offence...a White Lie if need be.

Norm

[jextract]

Flattered, definitely. And I'll virtually always say "yes," because I know how hard it was for her to ask!!

[obakesan]

Definately flattered from my perspective as well. A much appreciated change of pace

[casematic]

well, kinda along the same lines, what would you guys *really* think about a girl basically saying 'how 'bout it?' after several rounds of glances, teasing, drinks, talking dirty, whatever?  i get the feeling that the answer would be 'no' just out of being startled, but i've only tried it once.  (it didn't work.)  so what's the scoop?

and ellen, if you'd rather me ask in a different though related thread, feel free to ask a mod to move the post. 

Marci, I think your thought process flows with my post, so no need to have it moved, because actually, that was another question I had. If the woman does make the first move, does the guy feel:
1) immasculated
2) flattered
3) shocked
4) all of the above
5) none of the above

(Taking this thread on a slightly different path is hardly the same as the "gold-digger wants drinks for free" 180) I can buy my own drinks, thank you very much.

I can recall one instance of being approached..... and very bluntly as I recall ... no flirting .... no lead up.... not even a casual glance ... she just approached the table out of nowhere and told me what she wanted. (Now I'm definitely one of those that needs the proverbial 2x4 between the eyes that Hawk mentioned - but maybe just a little more subtle than this was). I was a little shocked. I did NOT oblige (and I sometimes go years between encounters). So it's not like I had an ample supply of attention waiting for me in the wings.

If I had found her even the least bit attractive .... and interesting.... there was some conversation (even a few minutes) .... and she were a little more subtle .... and not quite so crass and crude .... Maybe then I would have agreed .... and I think I would have been flattered.

Maybe she was just a 'groupie' type. I mean, it was at a live open-mike comedy performance at a bar (I tried that for a while just for kicks). Sometimes it went well .... and sometimes I really bombed .... But as I recall, I had a pretty good night on stage that particular night.

[normblitch]

Flattered, definitely.  And I'll virtually always say "yes," because I know how hard it was for her to ask!!

...even if you know deep inside you are "leading her on"??

Norm

[DiveScoop]

My 2 cents - I guess I'm a bit of an old-fashioned guy and believe that it's up to the man to initiate some interest. But it is flattering to have a lady make the first move. I guess it depends on the situation (that sounds like SUCH a cop-out, sorry!)

Scott

[ScubaPunk]

I have asked this question countless times, and have never received a straight answer. The answers that you do get are all different. Some men are flattered, some are shocked, some, I'm told like the thrill of the hunt, which I find very creepy. So what I have concluded is that it is an individual preference, and not something that is common among the entire male species. Come to think of it, women are the same way, sometimes we want to be approached, sometimes we don't. Depends on who's doing the approaching. So I have decided not to waste any more time worrying about it, and just do what I want. If I want to make the first move, I will. Some will like it, some won't.

[sniperdiver]

Depends on who's doing the approaching. So I have decided not to waste any more time worrying about it, and just do what I want. If I want to make the first move, I will. Some will like it, some won't.

I'm with ya SP.