141 replies to this topic

[blacklatexozdiver]

Speaking for myself if the woman doesn't turn me on, we're not getting anywhere near a "Hot & Heavy" moment.

I think Ellen's question is based on the fact that both of you are turned on. So then what? Do you make *the move*, or do you wait for her to initiate?

Thank you Annasea!!! See guys, not only is she pretty, she's smart too.

I agree!

[blacklatexozdiver]

I'd say 50:50 for me. But that's me and not everyone else....

I should clarify - I'm referring to me and my fiancée. Otherwise I'm too shy, so it'd be more like 1% me and 99% the woman.

[dennis mccarty]

Romance Novel View:

"As her eyes became lost in the strength of his piercing gaze, Jessica felt her body weaken into Lance's firm grasp. Shocked at the wild urges stampeding across the plains of reason, she tried to back away, but couldn't. Her desire found her moving toward him as his normally rough hands found a gentle firmness against her skin that spoke truths she could no longer deny; that he was about to claim her forever..."

The Future Real-Life View:

"You don't think I'm pretty," she whined.

"Yes, I do. Honestly," he implored.

"Then why haven't you tried to get me into bed during the entire 18 months that we've been together? Either I'm not attractive to you or you are gay. Afterall, I'm an NFL cheerleader, a model, and a nypmphomaniac!"

"Are you saying you WANT to have sex?" He asked.

"Yes, dammit! Yes! Yes! Yes!" she cried!

"Awesome! I just wanted to make sure, but um.... before we do... would you mind signing this pre-intercourse statement of understanding and waiver, initialing 123 different warnings regarding your physical, emotional, and spiritual health? Also, would you mind making a statement on video that you really do want to have sex with me and watch a 20 minute minute risk awareness video with me? Oh, and could you call your friend Becky to have her join us?"

"Becky! What? Are you a pervert?" she chastised.

"Um, no, it says here that we need at least one witness and my best friend isn't available because he's at his attorney's office trying to settle a dispute with his girlfriend that she was verbally abused when he shouted, 'F**k! during climax."

Note: This isn't meant to mock a woman's right to say, "No," or trivialize any sexual harassment or abuse any woman may have suffered in her past, present or future. I dated a lot and fortunately most every girl I encountered treated me fairly whether good or bad in the course of our relationship. But, I dated one girl who was psycho enough to threaten to claim rape because I dumped her a second time after taking her back and she was angry. The worst problem is that the abuse of the laws put in place to protect women takes away credibility and understanding of serious sexual assault and sexual harrassment when "harrassment" can even be telling a woman her new haircut that she paid $150.00 for looks nice (even just one compliment directed her way) as it is defined where I lifeguard. While lifeguarding we also are no longer allowed to give kids pats on the head or touch them in any comforting way when they are injured and we're treating them because it might be misconstrued as molestation and child abuse. No means no and stop means stop. But, what must stop is a lack of common sense before courtship and mating becomes a clinical affair and no longer fun for either gender.

Trace

I heard that. I'm a hugger. I hug my friends and sometimes new ones if its right. How did it all get to this anyway. Hell I remember as a child always getting hugs from teachers . Now teachers have to be very careful so that someone does not get angry and make an accusation. All it takes is a charge that you did something even if you did not as Trace says about one girl. The DA in houston will take charges and then its up to you to prove your innocents. If I start to hug or give a gal a kiss and she steps back , i respect that and wont make that mistake again. Then over time if she sees me and my friends hugging and smooching all over and comes up to me and asks whats wrong with her and why did not I give her a hug. I tell her that im sorry and say remember when. And tell her . Most of the time Ive heard that it was hormonal and not a damn thing to do with me.
The bottom line is to respect everyone and treat them as you would like to be treated.
The golden rule still applies
Dennis

[dennis mccarty]

A women who actually wants sex??? Oh thats right some of you are single folk.....

If any man says they know what women want and when they want it there lying. We men are not wired right to figure you gals out. So any help you Ladies give is most appeciated, at least in my book.

You know there is a book for men, Everything you ever wanted to know about women. You open it up and its blank.
dennis

[normblitch]

I'll make it clear I'm interested, but that's about as far as it goes.  Political climate these days have become contrary to guys making the "first move".  Too easy for signals to get crossed.  Ramifications for mistakes too severe.

Ellen,

The times have changed, some for the good, some for worse...

Unfortunately, morning after "buyers remorse" has turned into "Date Rape" allegations in far too many instances (NOT to say that there AREN'T actually regretable & unforgivable assaults like this)

Worse (and Ladies, TRUST ME, this IS another problem) still, there ARE Women who will make a "no, stop" signal a time or two, simply to see how ardent the Date is, AND, when the Date accepts the NO signal & moves on, will pass the Event on to their peer group saying that the Guy is a wuss...

BOTH groups need to clean up their "act"; sadly, thes rotten eggs can & DO spoil the remaining Basket...

Personally, I usually wait for an unmistakable signal...details on Request..

Norm
(home from Gainesville and the NACD Workshop with Tales to Tell)

[normblitch]

DING!!! DING!!! DING!!! ...

We have a winner! 

We also appear to have a significant number of losers... Oh well boyz.. back to the grog!

In Vino, Veritas!

nhb

[normblitch]

Romance Novel View:

"As her eyes became lost in the strength of his piercing gaze, Jessica felt her body weaken into Lance's firm grasp. Shocked at the wild urges stampeding across the plains of reason, she tried to back away, but couldn't. Her desire found her moving toward him as his normally rough hands found a gentle firmness against her skin that spoke truths she could no longer deny; that he was about to claim her forever..."

The Future Real-Life View:

"You don't think I'm pretty," she whined.

"Yes, I do. Honestly," he implored.

"Then why haven't you tried to get me into bed during the entire 18 months that we've been together? Either I'm not attractive to you or you are gay. Afterall, I'm an NFL cheerleader, a model, and a nypmphomaniac!"

"Are you saying you WANT to have sex?" He asked. 

"Yes, dammit! Yes! Yes! Yes!" she cried!

"Awesome! I just wanted to make sure, but um.... before we do... would you mind signing this pre-intercourse statement of understanding and waiver, initialing 123 different warnings regarding your physical, emotional, and spiritual health? Also, would you mind making a statement on video that you really do want to have sex with me and watch a 20 minute minute risk awareness video with me? Oh, and could you call your friend Becky to have her join us?"

"Becky! What? Are you a pervert?" she chastised.

"Um, no, it says here that we need at least one witness and my best friend isn't available because he's at his attorney's office trying to settle a dispute with his girlfriend that she was verbally abused when he shouted, 'F**k! during climax."

Note: This isn't meant to mock a woman's right to say, "No," or trivialize any sexual harassment or abuse any woman may have suffered in her past, present or future. I dated a lot and fortunately most every girl I encountered treated me fairly whether good or bad in the course of our relationship. But, I dated one girl who was psycho enough to threaten to claim rape because I dumped her a second time after taking her back and she was angry. The worst problem is that the abuse of the laws put in place to protect women takes away credibility and understanding of serious sexual assault and sexual harrassment when "harrassment" can even be telling a woman her new haircut that she paid $150.00 for looks nice (even just one compliment directed her way) as it is defined where I lifeguard. While lifeguarding we also are no longer allowed to give kids pats on the head or touch them in any comforting way when they are injured and we're treating them because it might be misconstrued as molestation and child abuse. No means no and stop means stop. But, what must stop is a lack of common sense before courtship and mating becomes a clinical affair and no longer fun for either gender.

Trace

I heard that. I'm a hugger. I hug my friends and sometimes new ones if its right. How did it all get to this anyway. Hell I remember as a child always getting hugs from teachers . Now teachers have to be very careful so that someone does not get angry and make an accusation. All it takes is a charge that you did something even if you did not as Trace says about one girl. The DA in houston will take charges and then its up to you to prove your innocents. If I start to hug or give a gal a kiss and she steps back , i respect that and wont make that mistake again. Then over time if she sees me and my friends hugging and smooching all over and comes up to me and asks whats wrong with her and why did not I give her a hug. I tell her that im sorry and say remember when. And tell her . Most of the time Ive heard that it was hormonal and not a damn thing to do with me.
The bottom line is to respect everyone and treat them as you would like to be treated.
The golden rule still applies
Dennis

Heck, Perrone and I hugged Saturday...

It was OF COURSE, a Manly hug....



Norm

[PerroneFord]

LOL!!

All I can say is that Kim put me in the mood! WOW!

[normblitch]

LOL!!

All I can say is that Kim put me in the mood!  WOW!

However, My Friend,

IF you had gone to the RB Charm School & Fantasy Camp on SUNDAY, you would have seen her apres' dive in her Bikini!!

Like I said in an earlier Post, In the Final Analysis, Olde Age & Cunning WILL defeat Youth & VIGOR!!



Norm
(now adding Rebreather to the checked-off list)

[annasea]

Unfortunately, morning after  "buyers remorse" has turned into "Date Rape" allegations in far too many instances (NOT to say that there AREN'T actually regretable & unforgivable assaults like this)

Worse (and Ladies, TRUST ME, this IS another problem) still, there ARE Women who will make a "no, stop" signal a time or two, simply to see how ardent the Date is, AND, when the Date accepts the NO signal & moves on, will pass the Event on to their peer group saying that the Guy is a wuss...

What is this information based on, Norm?

[PerroneFord]

LOL!!

All I can say is that Kim put me in the mood!  WOW!

However, My Friend,

IF you had gone to the RB Charm School & Fantasy Camp on SUNDAY, you would have seen her apres' dive in her Bikini!!

Like I said in an earlier Post, In the Final Analysis, Olde Age & Cunning WILL defeat Youth & VIGOR!!



Norm
(now adding Rebreather to the checked-off list)

I was SORELY tempted to drive back down on Sunday for the session at Ginnie. In retrospect, I'm glad I did not. Seeing Kim in a bikini might have produced some rather troubling reactions on my part.

I'm glad she's married to be honest. At least I had some reason to maintain proper distance.

[normblitch]

Unfortunately, morning after  "buyers remorse" has turned into "Date Rape" allegations in far too many instances (NOT to say that there AREN'T actually regretable & unforgivable assaults like this)

Worse (and Ladies, TRUST ME, this IS another problem) still, there ARE Women who will make a "no, stop" signal a time or two, simply to see how ardent the Date is, AND, when the Date accepts the NO signal & moves on, will pass the Event on to their peer group saying that the Guy is a wuss...

What is this information based on, Norm?

Personal & Group experience...I'm sure many of the fellows on SD have had the same experience(s)...

Sad, but TRUE...

Norm

[Dennis]

So, my pre-married operations could now get me into a legal situation. Well, maybe. But you know, I was never one of those people that just grabbed any girl and headed for the sack. I was pretty sure the gal was interested before I even gave her a kiss. Shoot, I had to be sure I was interested before I would even ask her out on a date. That took a while. I was cautious.

For my sweetheart of 26 plus years, hell, she picked me up at a dorm party. But we had known each other for a couple of years before that. So, I think I would have been pretty safe in the legal area for most of the very few ladies I ever got very serious with.

[normblitch]

So, my pre-married operations could now get me into a legal situation.  Well, maybe.  But you know, I was never one of those people that just grabbed any girl and headed for the sack.  I was pretty sure the gal was interested before I even gave her a kiss.  Shoot, I had to be sure I was interested before I would even ask her out on a date.  That took a while.  I was cautious.

For my sweetheart of 26 plus years, hell, she picked me up at a dorm party.  But we had known each other for a couple of years before that.  So, I think I would have been pretty safe in the legal area for most of the very few ladies I ever got very serious with.

In a word, YES.....

...and as I said, there is ill-behavior on BOTH sides of the Barre...

In my Lounge Lizard Days, I had many male friends whose approach on a Friday or Saturday night was just to walk the "line", smoothly sidlin' up to each one, and inquire (not so subtly) "Hey, How about it?". They were usualy rebuffed, but, sadly, they never left the lounge alone using the lowest common denominator approach. I never tried that route, but often fell victim to the "Girls just wanna drink on someone else's Tab" scam.

How 'bout it Guys, am I alone in these experiences??

Norm

[blacklatexozdiver]

How 'bout it Guys, am I alone in these experiences??

Norm

Not on my case. Being shy and a "fugly duckling" as a younger person (I still feel that I am) I never got into the "singles scene" too much. I knew I'd be rejected - I was always seen as "a good friend" so never wasted my time trying to pick up.

In a way I'm glad I went the way I did - I have a totally wonderful fiancée as a result.