71 replies to this topic

[Trymixdiver]

I think its a bad idea for her parents to want that for thier daughter. If they have $ then get her an education so she can lead a productive fulfilling life. Sounds very boring to have everything handed to you, where is the lesson in that? At least if shes educated and has a job she could support herself and have some feelings of accomplishment.

This girl sounds needy and high maintenence and i typically stay clear of them. hate to remind everyone of the high % of divorce but, whats this girl gonna do if her marriage fails, run back to daddy ?

I do tend to shy away from women who have way tooo much education. We typically do not have the same interests.

Andy

Edited by Trymixdiver, 13 August 2004 - 04:27 PM.

[jextract]

... people who want equal rights without equal responsibility are worthy only of our contempt.

Jex,

That remind me of Ayn Rand's objectivism philosphy, as demonstrated in the book "Atlas Shrugged" (see, I really did read it)

The philosophies expressed in that book have had a profound impact on my life and how I view the world. Here is a great and timely quote from it:

"Love is our response to our highest values--and can be nothing else.”
- Ayn Rand, spoken by: Francisco d'Anconia, Atlas Shrugged

[jextract]

Not to be crass, but my friends and I have an expression that it is cheaper just to get a hooker and a housecleaner.

Alright, since I have the house cleaner does this mean that I only have to seek out the hooker now?

Just remember, you aren't paying them for the sex, you're paying for them to shut up and leave with no strings attached afterward. Think of it as renting instead of leasing or buying!

Sometimes it is better to rent. When it breaks down it's the owner's problem and not mine...

And we all know, they can be subject to breakdowns ... in one form or another!

[cmt489]

What do you say?????

[jextract]

Depending on where I am, either "you don't gotta go home but you can't stay here" or "hey, I gotta go see that guy about that thing."

[maninthesea]

I dont think I would mind a wife who did not want to work (other than keeping house and kids) I think it puts a lot of strain on women to have a carear and raise kids no matter how much the dad helps. OTOH every woman I have ever dated worked and planned to keep working and that is fine with me also. Two incomes leaves more disposable income to invest or play together.
As for the example MS posted I would not want to marry anyone who's first priority in the relationship was support.

Jim

[mvillanueva]

wow.

i have absolutely nothing of value to add to any of this.

but i do love my dogs.

I do not believe you.

(I do believe you love your dogs though)

Edited by mvillanueva, 13 August 2004 - 06:57 PM.

[mvillanueva]

Not to be crass, but my friends and I have an expression that it is cheaper just to get a hooker and a housecleaner.

Alright, since I have the house cleaner does this mean that I only have to seek out the hooker now?

Just remember, you aren't paying them for the sex, you're paying for them to shut up and leave with no strings attached afterward. Think of it as renting instead of leasing or buying!

Sometimes it is better to rent. When it breaks down it's the owner's problem and not mine...

I can see it now...


WWW.U-Haul.Mates.com

[drbill]

I wouldn't give the daughter (or the mother) the time of day. She sounds like all she is fit for is to be a parasite? Just what would she contribute to the man who might marry her? Can she cook? Clean house?

A woman who will not take care of herself is one I wouldn't have the slightest interest in, regardless of whether she was absolutely gorgeous (even my dream Asian mermaid couldn't get away with this nonsense).

I find the attitude disgusting. Just why would the mother think a man would be interested in supporting her daughter when she isn't willing to take care of herself and her own responsibilities.

Just makes my blood boil. Good thing I did four dives today and am still fairly cool!

Doc

[Bubble2Bubble]

MS sorry for the short reply today. on the long drive home I decided to drop the mother child thing and just consentrate on your questions.

1.

Now my question is, does that appeal to men still? Or I guess, did it ever?

A. maybe when I was younger Sure. but now I want and partner of that can stand on her own two feet.

2.

Do you shy away from women like that?

A. Yes but maybe give her some consuling not to be dependant on somebody so much.

3.

Or do you shy away from women who can make their own living and be successful?

A. no that would be a Plus/Turn on for sure.

I have only one requirement She has to be a DIVER

B2B

[drbill]

Jextract- was the "see that guy" quote from the movie version of Cannery Row (said by Mack Or Hazel, I think the latter)?

Doc

[mvillanueva]

  <snip>  I guess its just a question I’ve been pondering and I’m curious.

Based on your take of this discussion you engendered, would you share some (or all!) of your pondering? More to my curiosity: Have any of your beliefs, opinions, or perceptions been altered by this dialogue? If so, what was the change?

Like you, I am curious.

Michael

[drbill]

A lot of talk about love here, but in terms of what definition? Too often love in Western terms is something that is more akin to immediate physical attraction/lust/passion which then subsides over time. Love in the East (at least traditionally) is something that develops over time, through shared experiences and evolving mutual respect. It grows rather than subsides over time.

Given my preference for love in the Eastern sense, it would be impossible to develop such feelings for the daughter in question. Her attitude would never earn my respect. However, I might settle for a little passion and lust before bowing out (just kidding ladies!).

Doc

[RichardB]

This thread reminds me of a request made by one of my employees several years back. I was managing part of a refueling outage at a power plant and this woman came to me and asked if I would talk her 18 year old son out of accepting a full academic scholarship at a local university. Apparently, since I had gone to several colleges she thought I could explain "how it gonna' be a big ol' waste of time and money waistin' in class when he could be out dar' making $10 an hour paintn' for his uncle." And that "he be lissin' to you good 'cause you been done did that."

I of course told the kid to do everything he could to excel at college and get the H out of that little town.

And they wonder why I don't work in the nuke industry any more!

[mostlysingle]

There are two things that should give a hint as to my position in this scenario:

1. I go round and round with the mother/grandmother; and
2. I work with her.

I am a successful single mother, who cannot imagine not working, even if it ever ends up to be part time or working from home. Although, parish the thought, I'm not sure I'm cut out to work from home, I like social interaction. I keep a home, I work full time, I find time to learn things I don't already know and aside from the occasional insecure moment (that most people have) I do alright for myself. I'm not too set in my ways to change, but I know what I don't want. I have a feeling of self worth every morning knowing that I can support myself as necessary and don't need to rely on anyone to do the same.


BUT...

I do know that NOT ALL people are this way. I accept them for their own choices that land them where they are and take them down their own path. My path would get awfully crowded if they all jumped on it! I would never accept the fact that I could not learn a trade/skill/career. Maybe it would be difficult, but I would at least give it a shot. I find it mortifying that some people can simply sit back and believe the world owes them something and they are there for the sake of getting all they can without doing anything. That is the attitude that I was talking about in my original question.

I am a person who give more than most - in fact my close friends swear that's my downfall. So, in my relationships, I am the one who usually ends up hurt in the end, because I give effortlessly.

I am not implying or even straight out saying I am perfect. But I don't agree with what the mother and daughter are doing. I think the best thing for the daughter is to get counseling so that she may possibly understand she DOES have some self worth (as I believe it has been beaten into her head that she has none). I bet she would feel alot better about accomplishing something for herself instead of relying on others who can control her.

But honestly, I do not have a say in it and I have already expressed that to her on one occassion. She chose not to take the advice, which is ok too. No body wants to be told they need help.

All of your answers were extremely insightful and I appreciate the candor in which you all spoke - and yes, the levity that was injected as well.

Anymore questions, or did I answer them all???

Edited by mostlysingle, 13 August 2004 - 08:08 PM.