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How is dating different in today's world? And does it vary by age?


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#31 ScubaTex

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 08:17 AM

 

"Wow, that is one good looking dick, I'd love to meet the guy attached to it," said no woman ever!!!

I swear someday I'm going to publish a coffee table book of the unsolicited dick pics I've received.

Maybe it should be a pop-up book!

 

 

I cannot imagine anyone thinking that approach would work ever, but I have heard the same thing from some female friends of mine.

 

Of course it would have to be a pop-up book, also make sure it has a book cover!

 

It's what happens when a camera & cell phone are combined


Edited by ScubaTex, 21 May 2015 - 11:20 AM.

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#32 Elias

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Posted 25 May 2015 - 12:25 PM

[...] I have actually given up actively looking. [...]

^^ Yes, this. ^^

I would add that diving is a lot more fun than dating.


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#33 Gini

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Posted 25 May 2015 - 12:28 PM

I concur, Elias. Dating pretty much sucks!
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#34 sheddMMD

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Posted 17 August 2015 - 09:44 PM

Well, I am just getting back into the "field" at 47 now and am absolutely terrified. I swore when I got into my last relationship 4 years ago that this would be my last. We were both the same age, went to high school together and shared all of the same passions. Well we have just parted as friends and like I said before I am terrified even thinking about dating someone again and having to go through all of that. Not that I am looking to jump anywhere near a relationship but the future seems awful daunting right now. Where do people even go to meet people at my (our) age? I live in Chicago and I am not into the bar scene at all, and "online" just isn't me either. I keep saying that I am just going to go live on an island and dive and remain single forever. That's how badly I don't want to "date" anymore. Any advice would be welcome from those who are in the know.

#35 WreckWench

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Posted 18 August 2015 - 07:14 AM

DATING is a 4 letter word with extra characters. So don't. Use this time to focus on you and enjoy life. Or renew an old passion.... i.e diving or start a new one. Work out to look better and feel better. Life happens when you are living. You will meet fantastic people in the course of life.

 

Now if you want to help us get some diving happy hours going we have a number of active members in the Chicago area who would help and we could start regular Social Hours again in your area and you could focus on meeting new people in our amazing sport. Some may be women and you may even meet someone special. I find when you don't focus on it but you stack the odds in your favor...you will more naturally find someone nice to enjoy things with.AND you will meet a whole lot of new friends which is just as valuable if not more so.

 

But don't carry any baggage from your last relationship into the new one. If are still lugging it with you then refrain from trying to actively meet someone and do things that heal your soul so that you can drop the crap by the dump and move on with a clean slate. Be ready to be 'ready for the next stage of your life. Don't use someone to help you get over the last one.

 

I'm sure others will chime in. There are lots of other options to place yourself in better odds of meeting someone. If they need to be a diver then do diving meetups and other online diving venues. If they just need to be female then find activities that women love...wine tastings, cooking classes, volunteer work, etc and as you live your life you will eventually find someone you may want to live it with.

 

We are glad you found us! And thanks for adding to our community!



Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
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#36 Mermaid Lady

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Posted 18 August 2015 - 02:32 PM

Sex vs dating.... WOW!!! I am so out of it. Of course when I was dating I rarely had a lot of 2nd dates... why? Because I did not sleep with them. Some things NEVER CHANGE. However I would surmise that it may be more intense these days since women tend to me more willing to have sex on the first date and/or want to have it. At least it seems the younger ones do!

 

I have plenty of second dates -WITHOUT having sex. In fact it can egg a lot of them on.

(Considering the gyn issues I had for over a decade, it was easy for me to say no, as initmacy was painful, but I digress. Suffice to say that has been resolved s of this summer. But even still, I am in no hurry.)

 

The big problem that I have these days Is lack of chemistry on my part. (I'm probably physically attracted to less than 5% of all men, period. And the ones that I am attracted to are rarely "good looking" in a traditional sense.) That has cost me more relationships than anything else. It is amazing that the current guy I have been seeing still wants to spend time with after 8+ months of dating mostly platonically. I like him, we have a lot in common, and we get along well. He knows the score, and I make it a point to treat him right because he deserves that. In the process I have warmed to him more that I thought I would. But I am hitting a major wall when it comes to anything beyond "first base".

I wish I could get beyond it, because everything else is great. But my body won't let me. That wall I'm hitting is solid, steep-faced, and very tall...
 


Edited by Mermaid Lady, 18 August 2015 - 02:40 PM.

Cheers,
Teresa,
The original
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I'm only wearing black until they come out with something darker..."

#37 Mermaid Lady

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Posted 18 August 2015 - 02:42 PM

"Wow, that is one good looking dick, I'd love to meet the guy attached to it," said no woman ever!!!
 

Oh man, I am SO stealing this!!!!


Edited by Mermaid Lady, 18 August 2015 - 02:43 PM.

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Cheers,
Teresa,
The original
Mermaid Lady
Bass player for the band formerly known as Opulent.

"'
I'm only wearing black until they come out with something darker..."

#38 DivingBelle

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Posted 29 August 2015 - 04:55 PM

Where do people even go to meet people at my (our) age? I live in Chicago and I am not into the bar scene at all, and "online" just isn't me either. I keep saying that I am just going to go live on an island and dive and remain single forever. That's how badly I don't want to "date" anymore. Any advice would be welcome from those who are in the know.


I would suggest looking into www.meetup.com (here is the link:

http://www.meetup.com/

Membership is free - since you live in Chicago you only have to search within a 25 mile radius to find activities you like - lots of single people do this to meet others and women usually outnumber men - there are usually singles groups and hiking, arts, anything you can really think of (that can be posted publicly!). The idea is to create a community of others with like interests. After an event you can contact someone via their profile or see them again if they sign up for another activity.

Colleen

Edited by DivingBelle, 29 August 2015 - 04:56 PM.


#39 WreckWench

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Posted 29 August 2015 - 05:02 PM

Meetups are great! And they even have scuba meetups! Don't forget to tell them about our great trips! ;)



Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD Forms & Documents.... here !

Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!

Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906

#40 sheddMMD

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Posted 29 August 2015 - 07:24 PM

Thanks Colleen, I have joined the Chicago Scuba Meet-up and am meeting some really great people. In fact we are diving on some great, Lake Michigan wrecks tomorrow. I'm not looking for a relationship there but just to meet like minded people and have a little fun.

#41 sheddMMD

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Posted 29 August 2015 - 07:25 PM

DATING is a 4 letter word with extra characters. So don't. Use this time to focus on you and enjoy life. Or renew an old passion.... i.e diving or start a new one. Work out to look better and feel better. Life happens when you are living. You will meet fantastic people in the course of life.
 
Now if you want to help us get some diving happy hours going we have a number of active members in the Chicago area who would help and we could start regular Social Hours again in your area and you could focus on meeting new people in our amazing sport. Some may be women and you may even meet someone special. I find when you don't focus on it but you stack the odds in your favor...you will more naturally find someone nice to enjoy things with.AND you will meet a whole lot of new friends which is just as valuable if not more so.
 
But don't carry any baggage from your last relationship into the new one. If are still lugging it with you then refrain from trying to actively meet someone and do things that heal your soul so that you can drop the crap by the dump and move on with a clean slate. Be ready to be 'ready for the next stage of your life. Don't use someone to help you get over the last one.
 
I'm sure others will chime in. There are lots of other options to place yourself in better odds of meeting someone. If they need to be a diver then do diving meetups and other online diving venues. If they just need to be female then find activities that women love...wine tastings, cooking classes, volunteer work, etc and as you live your life you will eventually find someone you may want to live it with.
 
We are glad you found us! And thanks for adding to our community!



#42 sheddMMD

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Posted 29 August 2015 - 07:27 PM

Wreck Wench-
The quote thingy didn't work or more likely I didn't do it right, but anyway, yes I'd be more than happy to help things got started back up in Chicago. Let me know what you need.

Frank
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#43 ChumShiver

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Posted 30 August 2015 - 04:31 PM

Wow, interesting posts on here. As a mature man, who got married in his 40s, I can really sympathize with the guys and women on here who are trying to date in middle age. So many different standards and expectations, culture clashes, and somebody previously even mentioned that they didn't like men using Text to make dates on. Better not try dating anybody under 30; they rarely answer the phone!

 

One thing I certainly learned in my 30s, getting back into dating after 5 years celibate (and not by choice), was that 'anybody who thinks that middle aged women aren't good at sex is WRONG.' Funny thing, I even got onto a radio show in my city with that quote. :D

 

I think today's men are navigating rough waters, with many women who have been influenced by third wave feminism and harsh experiences with previous relationships. Ultimately I think that being honest, brutally honest, at this age is the only way to go, if a guy wants a solid relationship with a woman that he can talk to and be proud of. I laughed at the comments on online dating too! I laughed because I met my wife on LavaLife. It worked for us, and I have a wife I can be with and truly say I love and am proud of. I'm not sure if we are outliers, but I should say it took me a few years online to find her. Strangely, it took my wife 3 weeks to find me. (sigh)

 

 

Sex vs dating.... WOW!!! I am so out of it. Of course when I was dating I rarely had a lot of 2nd dates... why? Because I did not sleep with them. Some things NEVER CHANGE. However I would surmise that it may be more intense these days since women tend to me more willing to have sex on the first date and/or want to have it. At least it seems the younger ones do!

 

I have plenty of second dates -WITHOUT having sex. In fact it can egg a lot of them on.

(Considering the gyn issues I had for over a decade, it was easy for me to say no, as initmacy was painful, but I digress. Suffice to say that has been resolved s of this summer. But even still, I am in no hurry.)

 

The big problem that I have these days Is lack of chemistry on my part. (I'm probably physically attracted to less than 5% of all men, period. And the ones that I am attracted to are rarely "good looking" in a traditional sense.) That has cost me more relationships than anything else. It is amazing that the current guy I have been seeing still wants to spend time with after 8+ months of dating mostly platonically. I like him, we have a lot in common, and we get along well. He knows the score, and I make it a point to treat him right because he deserves that. In the process I have warmed to him more that I thought I would. But I am hitting a major wall when it comes to anything beyond "first base".

I wish I could get beyond it, because everything else is great. But my body won't let me. That wall I'm hitting is solid, steep-faced, and very tall...
 

 

Yep, without chemistry and physical attraction all you have is a good conversation. Mermaid, you are absolutely entitled to be choosy! I think too many people think they have to "settle". Having said that, the sex columnist Dan Savage has noted that most people never find their "10", but instead find a "6.5" that they click with, and then they round it up to "10" and call it good. Oh, and I was no fan of first date sex either. If you're into that, go for it. Me, I always wanted to get a feel for the personality of the woman I was dating, before I really opened myself up. Maybe I'm strange, but I always wanted to have a good chat with any woman I took to bed.

 

Anyway, that's my $0.25. I'm really looking forward to meeting some on you on a future trip, and having some great conversations! For now, I'm getting reaquainted with my drysuit, doing local diving around here.


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#44 WreckWench

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Posted 31 August 2015 - 07:54 AM

WOW!! Great stuff. I can't wait to have a few minutes to jump back in!



Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
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"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!

Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
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#45 WreckWench

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Posted 31 August 2015 - 07:57 AM

Thanks Colleen, I have joined the Chicago Scuba Meet-up and am meeting some really great people. In fact we are diving on some great, Lake Michigan wrecks tomorrow. I'm not looking for a relationship there but just to meet like minded people and have a little fun.

The places you think you won't find someone are often target rich with potential. And you are out there and having a great time! And keep telling people about us. Its a great talking point! LOL!



Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD Forms & Documents.... here !

Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!

Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906




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