128 replies to this topic

[ScubaPunk]

This thread is a spin off from the "He's just not that into you" thread. I was inspired after reading Mike's (WillDiveForBeer) observations of his friends squables over the laundry.

First of all, this is the "small stuff" that were not suppose to sweat. Why can't we all recognize that there are some things that women do better than men and some things that men do better than women? There are so many more important things we should be directing our attention to.

Apparently, some women say they want help around the house. I don't think they want help, I just think they want men to do 'something' anything.

I don't understand a women who wants her SO to help with the laundry. I don't want any man touching my laundry, I've never met a man who could fold a bath towel the right way. And don't help me fill the dishwasher, because men can't do that right either. I don't want a man with me when I'm at the mall or the grocery store, I can finish in half the time without dragging a man around with me. I will do the cooking if you can tell me what the heck you want to eat. If you want to help cook, fine, the grill is in the back yard. Just stay the hell away from my oven. In fact, I will take care of all the cleaning without even a tiny little complaint. I'll even make his dentist appointment for him. Plus, I work full time and can hold up my end financially.

But, (ah yes you knew there was a "but" coming didn't you)

There are responsibilities that I expect a man to meet. The outside of the house is the man's responsibility, cutting the grass, taking out the garbage, etc. Inside or outside the house, if something breaks, fix it. There's always something broken, a leaking faucet, the furnace, the air conditioner, or any number of household appliances. If you can't fix it, then call someone who can. Take care of the cars, do whatever it is you're suppose to do with cars. Oil changes, tires, even wash it. Yes, I won't ask you to scrub the floors or toliet's, so don't ask me to wash my own car, and don't tell me to run it through the car wash. I don't want to, I don't have time. If a light bulb burns out, change it. I'm 5'2" tall. It is a major pain in the %@ss to go out to the garage and haul in a six foot ladder to change the light bulb in the ceiling fan, when most men could reach up and change it without even a step stool. If my guy wants to sit on the couch and drink beer and watch football, fine, just make sure I get laid first before you drink yourself into oblivion and you're no use to me later. It's all really quite simple.

I'm sure all the "liberated" women out there are not going to be happy with my outlook, but I think sometimes women are their own worst enemy. And, don't get me going about women in the military or on the police force. If I'm in danger and call for help, I want a man to answer that call, not a women. If a women could handle the problem, I would do it myself. I think I'll stop here. I'm sure I have sufficiently ruffled enough feathers with this one.

The Punk has spoken, go ahead, flame me.

[Cold_H2O]

While I don't have the same views on this as you SP. I do get what you are trying to say. I believe each person in the relationship should help out. If he loves to cook and does a great job. and she hates it or can't do it well. He should be the main cook.. I don't see any job as a gender specific duty.. I love to garden, landscape and mow the lawn. I can do it myself.. I do not expect my SO since he is a guy to do these things. I also love to cook. If a man is able to do my laundry I have no problem letting him..as long as he reads the labels and doesn't shrink or ruin anything..

No flaming from me.. I think its cool that you brought this up.. I often wonder how other people view gender roles.

[steelemagnolia6]

I don't like anyone washing my laundry but me. If it gets ruined I have no one to blame but me...

I think that there are somethings that men should do and some that are a woman's domain, but there is nothing wrong with helping around the house.

As for my car, I take care of it myself to, I always have. I did it when I was married and when I was living with the SO. I think that if I drive it then I had better be able to look after it. Unlike most woman, I learned to take care of a car from my Dad. It was his thought to that a woman should know enough about a car to take care of the minor stuff. I can change the oil, change a tire and belts and hoses. You'll never find my car out of antifreeze, oil, brake fluid, tranny fluid, power steering fluid, unlike lots of women I know what to do before those "cute little lights" come on. And car salesmen hate to see me coming because I don't want to talk about what color the little lady wants. I want to know about the enigne, the fuel mileage, and so on.

Now I'll run and hide if I see a spider and I fully expect you men to kill them post haste. Fix anything that I have broken at the house. And you can do the shopping I'd rather have a root canal without drugs then to have to go to the mall. I hate grocery shopping. The only thing that I love to shop for is shoes (I have 200 pairs) and books.

I do the "southern belle" thing really well to, I can throw a dinner party for 4 or 30, decorate a house, and all that stuff. My grandmother raised a southern lady. A unique one but one none the less.

[ScubaPunk]

I agree with you gis gal. There truly are no rules. Whatever works for the couple is the way to go, but why try to force someone into doing something they don't want to do. As long as each person is pulling their own weight and one person isn't getting everything dumped on them, there should be no problem. My point in the whole thing is that it is such a stupid thing for couples to argue about. Two mature adults should be able split things up without anyone feeling dumped on. We should be concentrating our energy on values, principals, common intrests, etc.

[ScubaPunk]

As for my car, I take care of it myself to, I always have.

I truly admire you for this.

Now I'll run and hide if I see a spider and I fully expect you men to kill them post haste.

Yeah, I forgot about the spider thing, I should have added it to the list.

And you can do the shopping I'd rather have a root canal without drugs then to have to go to the mall. I hate grocery shopping.

I hate shopping also, but it is a necessary evil.

[dustbowl diver]

Well, if this was a ladies only forum, excuse me while I crash the party!

Isn't it about cooperation and comprimise??

I can do all fo the things you listed SP in terms of pre-defined gender specific roles that ruled our grandparents generation. I will do them all if I need to, except for one!!

Don't expect me to PMS for you cause that ain't happening!!!

DBD

[Dejah]

Interesting subject you brought up SP and just to throw my .02 cents out on this my thoughts are that relationships should be 50/50... I agree that neither one should be dumped on and fighting over laundry is crazy!

Believe me I've gone down many of those roads of fighting over little things with my ex-husband and after getting divorced I learned to become VERY independant with anything that needs to be done esp after I purchased a house.. if something needs to get done I've never hesitated to do it on my own rather than ask for help, unless it's something I definately know I can't do... but that's me.

[Cold_H2O]

Well, if this was a ladies only forum, excuse me while I crash the party!

DBD you are always welcome to crash the party..

[Tolly]

This thread is a spin off from the "He's just not that into you" thread.  I was inspired after reading Mike's (WillDiveForBeer) observations of his friends squables over the laundry. 

First of all, this is the "small stuff" that were not suppose to sweat.  Why can't we all recognize that there are some things that women do better than men and some things that men do better than women?  There are so many more important things we should be directing our attention to.

Apparently, some women say they want help around the house.  I don't think they want help, I just think they want men to do 'something' anything.

I don't understand a women who wants her SO to help with the laundry.  I don't want any man touching my laundry, I've never met a man who could fold a bath towel the right way.  And don't help me fill the dishwasher,  because men can't do that right either.  I don't want a man with me when I'm at the mall or the grocery store, I can finish in half the time without dragging a man around with me.  I will do the cooking if you can tell me what the heck you want to eat.  If you want to help cook, fine, the grill is in the back yard.  Just stay the hell away from my oven.  In fact, I will take care of all the cleaning without even a tiny little complaint.  I'll even make his dentist appointment for him.  Plus, I work full time and can hold up my end financially.

But, (ah yes you knew there was a "but" coming didn't you)

There are responsibilities that I expect a man to meet.  The outside of the house is the man's responsibility, cutting the grass, taking out the garbage, etc.  Inside or outside the house, if something breaks, fix it.  There's always something broken, a leaking faucet, the furnace, the air conditioner, or any number of household appliances.  If you can't fix it, then call someone who can.  Take care of the cars, do whatever it is you're suppose to do with cars.  Oil changes, tires, even wash it.  Yes, I won't ask you to scrub the floors or toliet's, so don't ask me to wash my own car, and don't tell me to run it through the car wash.  I don't want to, I don't have time.  If a light bulb burns out, change it.  I'm 5'2" tall.  It is a major pain in the %@ss to go out to the garage and haul in a six foot ladder to change the light bulb in the ceiling fan, when most men could reach up and change it without even a step stool.  If my guy wants to sit on the couch and drink beer and watch football, fine, just make sure I get laid first before you drink yourself into oblivion and you're no use to me later.  It's all really quite simple.

I'm sure all the "liberated" women out there are not going to be happy with my outlook, but I think sometimes women are their own worst enemy.  And, don't get me going about women in the military or on the police force.  If I'm in danger and call for help, I want a man to answer that call, not a women.  If a women could handle the problem, I would do it myself.  I think I'll stop here.  I'm sure I have sufficiently ruffled enough feathers with this one.

The Punk has spoken, go ahead, flame me.

Will you MARRY me?

Just three requests....

Please tell me:

If something is broke, I may have not noticed and if it is OK, if it is not life threatening, can I fix it on Saturday? BTW, do you the car handwaxed or rinse waxed?

And I don't drink beer (much ), so when you want to get laid...just say so... I'll do the same...

same for the spiders, just point and lemme at 'em

teasing...sort of.....

but, it is reassuring that some people know exactly what they want and don't mind if it is not PC, unliberated or stereotypical....

but try to forgive most men if they don't express their desire to have a stereotypical relationship...

we tend to get stomped on by the PC police when we do.

[ScubaPunk]

Isn't it about cooperation and comprimise??

Absolutely. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Whatever works for you. I just don't understand what all the fuss is about. It's not a difficult thing to work out, however I always hear people complaining that he never helps with something or she's always complaining about something.

I can do all fo the things you listed SP in terms of pre-defined gender specific roles that ruled our grandparents generation.

Yes, most of us can do all the things listed. The gender specific roles that ruled our grandparents generation are still holding on strong today. You're fooling yourself, if you think they're not.

Don't expect me to PMS for you cause that ain't happening!!!

I don't blame you. I refuse to do that one myself.

[Forrestson]

Don't expect me to PMS for you cause that ain't happening!!!

DBD

Ah, come on Dusty. After last night, you expect us to buy that one? Your kidding, right? Your a funny guy!

[dustbowl diver]

Ah, come on Dusty. After last night, you expect us to buy that one? Your kidding, right? Your a funny guy!

I'll play, can you clarify??

DBD

[ScubaPunk]

If something is broke, I may have not noticed and if it is OK, if it is not life threatening, can I fix it on Saturday? BTW, do you the car handwaxed or rinse waxed?

And I don't drink beer (much  ), so when you want to get laid...just say so...  I'll do the same... 

same for the spiders, just point and lemme at 'em

Hmmmm, sounds like we could get along just fine. See how easy it is when you use a little common sense.

[WreckWench]

Hey SP...if things don't work out with Tolly can I marry you??? You can do all the inside stuff (I do like to cook and I'm pretty good or so I'm told at our bbq's) but I'll take care of the outside stuff or uh...hire it out! LOL!!!

In fact I may not be able to do much of the outside stuff...but I can take you on some awesome dive trips!!! Will that work???

[ScubaPunk]

Hey SP...if things don't work out with Tolly can I marry you??? You can do all the inside stuff (I do like to cook and I'm pretty good or so I'm told at our bbq's) but I'll take care of the outside stuff or uh...hire it out! LOL!!!

In fact I may not be able to do much of the outside stuff...but I can take you on some awesome dive trips!!! Will that work???

Thanks for the offer WW, but some how I just don't think you could satisfy all my needs. Yeah, lets stick with the dive trips. That's a good idea.