128 replies to this topic

[Blublood]

Arnies Laundry $100 month
Maid Service $200 month
Gardner $ 80 month

Having time to play and not screw with that stuff......Priceless.

[steelemagnolia6]

I spend about that much at the dry cleaners myself.....

[Sophia]

I don't know, about the issues always being about something outside the division of labor. If I had been in the above mentioned marriage, I think I'd have been pissed. I do not think I'd have the patience to last 1 month. But then, I'm a redhead and I reserve the right to get mad.

Seems to me that each person should do the chores they care about, and those they don't mind doing. If they both work, then the chores should be roughly equally divided. But, as long as everyone is happy...

[cmt489]

Trust me Sophia, as the one in the above mentioned marriage, I was pissed! Silly me, I took marriage seriously and allowed thing to be bad for much longer than I should have! Don't worry, I've learned my lesson and I won't put up with the BS ever again

[Sophia]

I never took you for the doormat type. I think we've all hung around way too long at least once in our life, and marriage is a good excuse. I hope the sex was at least good.

[AliKat]

Arnies Laundry $100 month
Maid Service $200 month
Gardner $ 80 month

Having time to play and not screw with that stuff......Priceless.

Man after my own heart.

[cmt489]

I hope the sex was at least good.

And yet, surprisingly.....

[ScubaPunk]

I was raised to believe my role was wife/mother/homemaker. I was shocked when I got divorced and found myself having to become a liberated gal.
I ended up working in a male dominated field and quickly learned (yes the hard way) that Susie homemaker gets no respect in the work place. "hey sweety you gonna go an make us some fresh coffee".. Is a comment I heard daily.. I was hired to draft hydraulic power units not make coffee for the men..or be cute and sweet. I am currently working drafting marine and industrial engines and power generators. I have found it difficult to be taken seriously when I am a girlie girl at work.

Oh, No, Wait a minute. I hope no one thinks that I am in any way advocating that women become submissive servants to men. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm talking about a relationship where each party contributes equally and based on who is best qualified for the task. I wash the dishes/he fixes the gargage door that I backed into with my dirty car. Like that, see? I don't think I'm being taken advantage of here. His job is not easy, at least not if he's living with me. But, I'd like to think I'm worth it. At least I would try hard as hell to be worth it.

I am talking about one man, the one that kills your spiders, the one that shares your bed. Not the guys at the office, they don't even belong in this conversation. But sense you brought it up...that is where equality comes into play. There are no gender roles in the office. There should be equal pay for equal work and fair opportunity for all, even men. I also work in a male dominated industry. I have 25 years experience and can work circles around most of the men in my office, and they know it. They have always treated me with respect. I don't think of myself as a girlie girl. It kindof sounds weak and pathetic, and, trust me, I'm not.

[Sophia]

I read somewhere (don't remember where, so take this with a huge grain of salt) that when homosexual couples decide to settle down and commit, their relationships, on average, last longer than heterosexual couples. The reason being that since there is no assumed gender roles, they then have discuss who does what. I don't know if I buy into the homosexual part, but it makes sense that when people discuss and agree, everyone is happier.

In my own case, I'd probably generally stick the traditional roles. I hate yardwork!, and I once made a cake so good Scotland got tears in his eyes. In fact, I should be doing yardwork at this moment.

[drbill]

I have seen some of my sweaters come out shrank down to a size that would fit well a kid after my ex got a hold fo them.

The only two times that my Pendleton wool shirts have been shrunk in the wash was when a girlfriend did the laundry. At $60 each (even more expensive in the pre-inflation days at $50), that was costly. Of course they wanted to wear them afterwards, so it is possible they did it intentionally (and both shirts were black watch Tartans, my favorite).

Dr. Bill

[steelemagnolia6]

I don't think that anyone that shrank my sweaters wanted to wear them.... I know that they wouldn't have matched his coloring....


I think that if what is expected of each party is well defiend from the get go you have a more positive outcome.

I don't know if gay couple fair any better in the love wars than other couples do. Somehow it seems that when things "go south" no one really comes out of it without some heart aches of some kind.... Other than the fact that for some reason they do seem to have a better division on household roles. That could be to the fact that there is no "gender roles" that one party feels that they must live up to....


As for me I think that with the exception of a few things I survive quite well solo but I sure wish at times that there was someone around to kill the spiders and open pickle jars for me...

[Bahamasita]

I don't know what the appropriate gender division of labor would be or if there is even such a thing, but I think women need "wives" too, if that is what it means to have someone help with the thousands of things that need to get done so you can have some time to decompress! I know I could use one!

[intotheblue]

Why can't we all recognize that there are some things that women do better than men and some things that men do better than women? ...  Apparently, some women say they want help around the house.  I don't think they want help, I just think they want men to do 'something' anything...
I don't want any man touching my laundry...  And don't help me fill the dishwasher, ....  I don't want a man with me when I'm at the mall or the grocery store....  I will do the cooking if you can tell me what the heck you want to eat.  If you want to help cook, fine, the grill is in the back yard....  In fact, I will take care of all the cleaning without even a tiny little complaint.  I'll even make his dentist appointment for him.  Plus, I work full time and can hold up my end financially.

There are responsibilities that I expect a man to meet..., cutting the grass, taking out the garbage, etc.  Inside or outside the house, if something breaks, fix it.  There's always something broken, a leaking faucet, the furnace, the air conditioner, or any number of household appliances.  If you can't fix it, then call someone who can.  Take care of the cars, do whatever it is you're suppose to do with cars.  Oil changes, tires, even wash it...  I won't ask you to scrub the floors or toliet's, so don't ask me to wash my own car, and don't tell me to run it through the car wash.  If a light bulb burns out, change it. ...  If my guy wants to sit on the couch and drink beer and watch football, fine, just make sure I get laid first before you drink yourself into oblivion and you're no use to me later.

The Punk has spoken, go ahead, flame me.

Gee, Punk... how in the world did I miss this post???? You go, girl...

Now that's a woman like a woman after my own heart!!! I heard recently that science has found that there really are differences between the male and the female... Go figure!!!

ITB....

[Tolly]

I heard recently that science has found that there really are differences between the male and the female... Go figure!!!

And Science is just figuring this out now.....

[WreckWench]

I don't know what the appropriate gender division of labor would be or if there is even such a thing, but I think women need "wives" too, if that is what it means to have someone help with the thousands of things that need to get done so you can have some time to decompress! I know I could use one!

When getting transferred to Dallas about 8 years ago from Raleigh to set up a new sales territory representing 12 states, setting up a new office, hiring a new sales team as well as selling my home in Raleigh and buying a new one in Dallas...there came a point where my boss was concerned that I had not completed my moves as timely as he liked.

He had just recently moved to Raleigh and so also sold a house and bought a house and he also was starting up a new division and hiring a new sales team. So it was natural that he thought I could do the same in similar timeframes.

He had just finished making the comparison and looked at me for feedback when I said the first thing that popped into my head which was...

"You are absolutely right...I'll get my wife right on that!"

Needless to say he realized that he did have a second person in his life who in reality was the one responsible for the selling of the old home and the purchase of the new one. And on a happy note...my temporary living expenses were extended another 3 months so that I could accommodate my moves and my job requirements! LOL!!

I guess we ALL need a 'wife' from time to time...or someone to help us regardless of the title!