I'll disagree somewhat here. You're right in saying communication is important, but why does that only apply to emotional needs? There may be so many things that need to be done I can't keep track of them, and yes, I may not even recognize it as something that needs attention because men are pigs. So I have no problem with a "honey-do" list and a time table that's open for negotiation if there's a conflict. That's not mothering, it's just being organized and communicating. An example of being "mothered" would be trying to attach specific rewards for getting them done, or the opposite, punishment for not doing them. That would make me feel very insulted and angry.Everyone has different backgrounds, and compromise, communication and common sense is the answer. One thing I do take issue with is the need to tell a man what needs to be done. When it comes to "emotional maintenance" as you say, women do need to let a man know what her needs are. When it comes to physical chores, he needs to figure that out on his own. A gentle nudge is not a problem, but it should not be necessary all the time. It's hard to be sexually attracted to a man that you have to be a mother to. I know that sounds harsh, and I apologize. I don't know, maybe it's just me.
I think the bottom line is that men and women both can be taught, and we all have a lot to learn.
Yes, there are some things that you shouldn't have to ask, like the mowing the lawn and taking out garbage. Those are obvious because grass gets long and garbage stinks. But once in a great while I'll forget to put the can out on the curb for pickup. There's a schedule for that and I wouldn't mind being reminded.
BTW, taking the car to the car wash is environmentally friendlier than washing it yourself and keeps the underwater environment cleaner. What is a few dollars and a few minutes at a car wash compared to the hundreds of dollars and time we spend diving? If you must wash the car at home, do it over grass so that it will filter out the crud.
