AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!
#1
Posted 02 June 2005 - 11:45 AM
Reader's Digest version of events - My boyfriend and I had already agreed that we were not seeing each other this night. I got a call from a friend that I have not seen in almost a year who is from Germany and is only in town for two days asking if I want to meet up for coffee with him and his female friend that he is staying with in town. I say sure. Coffee turns into dinner and drinks (remember, there are three of us and this guy and I have NEVER dated). I get a phone call on my cell while out from my boyfriend just wondering where I am and I tell him. This starts a whole stream of jealousy that I think we have finally resolved (for the most part). When I asked him in his jealous fit if he didn't trust me, his response, "Why? Is there a reason I shouldn't?" Hmmm.
It should be noted that I have never done anything that would in anyway create trust issues. I have always been open and honest and would never cheat or even think of cheating on someone.
Anyhow, back onto topic. Why do people get jealous in relationships? I never have so it is an emotion that I simply don't understand.
Any insight??
#2
Posted 02 June 2005 - 11:50 AM
#3
Posted 02 June 2005 - 11:55 AM
#4
Posted 02 June 2005 - 11:59 AM
DBD
#5
Posted 02 June 2005 - 11:59 AM
Why bother being jealous? If the other person is dishonest or is going to do something that is a relationship ender, they're going to do it whether I want them to or not. Jealousy takes up a LOT of energy!
My thought is that jealousy is really rooted in lack of self esteem, lack of confidence, and/or controlling behaviors. Oi!
#6
Posted 02 June 2005 - 12:00 PM
He says no...One question-did he cheat in a previuos relationship or was he cheated on that has lead him to this point??
DBD
#7
Posted 02 June 2005 - 12:02 PM
Gee, as if that's not scary to the future of this relationship! I sure hope not as I really do care about this guy!My thought is that jealousy is really rooted in lack of self esteem, lack of confidence, and/or controlling behaviors. Oi!
#8
Posted 02 June 2005 - 12:02 PM
seriously, since you agreed you weren't going to see each other, did you let him know your plans? Are you at the stage in the relationship where you feel you should tell him your plans (and tell you his plans)?
maybe some of his baggage just got off the plane and the various events reminded him of some previous realtionship where the jealousy was warranted?
Edited by Tolly, 02 June 2005 - 12:06 PM.
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"Give me the money that has been spent in war and I will clothe every man, woman, and child in an attire of which kings and queens will be proud. I will build a schoolhouse in every valley over the whole earth. I will crown every hillside with a place of worship consecrated to peace." Charles Sumner
"All that is necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke
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#9
Posted 02 June 2005 - 12:05 PM
The plans were really last minute and shifting but I didn't see a reason to tell him especially since he knew where I was as he got a hold of me on my cell phone. I know I don't expect him to check in with me everywhere he goes but then, of course, I have been accused of being a "bit of a guy" that wayhmmm......Run?
seriously, since you agreed you weren't going to see each other, did you let him know your plans? Are you at the stage in the relationship where you feel you should tell him your plans (and he his plans)?
#10
Posted 02 June 2005 - 12:08 PM
maybe some of his baggage just got off the plane and the various events reminded him of some previous realtionship where the jealousy was warranted?
SingleDivers can help you plan your personal or family dive trips! Send us an e-mail: SD Travel
"Give me the money that has been spent in war and I will clothe every man, woman, and child in an attire of which kings and queens will be proud. I will build a schoolhouse in every valley over the whole earth. I will crown every hillside with a place of worship consecrated to peace." Charles Sumner
"All that is necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke
"Be the little boy" Dive_Girl
#11
Posted 02 June 2005 - 12:10 PM
Why do relationships have to be so complicated?????
"You must have dreams of love, you must have desires. Perhaps you are made in such a way that you are afraid of them. Don't be. They are the best things you have."
Hermann Hesse
#12
Posted 02 June 2005 - 12:14 PM
I'm with The Sassy One here.... Regardless of baggage from past relationships, jealousy generally indicates a lack of... well, ditto what The Sassy Rabbit said. If you're jealous of the one you're with, then either that person's wrong for you (i.e. s/he is not trustworthy, there are valid reasons for the jealousy, etc.) or you shouldn't be in a relationship (i.e. you're not a trusting person, you have some issues to work out, etc.). Either way, it's a big red flag.My thought is that jealousy is really rooted in lack of self esteem, lack of confidence, and/or controlling behaviors. Oi!
I thought for sure this was one of Dr. Diver's pirate threads with a title like "AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!"
#13
Posted 02 June 2005 - 12:14 PM
Tell me about it!!Why do relationships have to be so complicated?????
#14
Posted 02 June 2005 - 12:14 PM
Sometimes, (not always) jealousy can lead to violence, from those we least expect it.
#15
Posted 02 June 2005 - 12:16 PM
I usually like to know if my boyfriend has made plans when we decide not to see each other. I also tend to keep him informed of what I'm up to. It's better to avoid unwanted questions.The plans were really last minute and shifting but I didn't see a reason to tell him especially since he knew where I was as he got a hold of me on my cell phone. I know I don't expect him to check in with me everywhere he goes but then, of course, I have been accused of being a "bit of a guy" that wayhmmm......Run?
seriously, since you agreed you weren't going to see each other, did you let him know your plans? Are you at the stage in the relationship where you feel you should tell him your plans (and he his plans)?
Edited by mahoneme, 02 June 2005 - 12:37 PM.
"You must have dreams of love, you must have desires. Perhaps you are made in such a way that you are afraid of them. Don't be. They are the best things you have."
Hermann Hesse
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