Long distance relationships....
#1
Posted 29 June 2005 - 12:32 AM
I know I've tried them before...in fact my last relationship/engagement was LD (long distance) and yes he was a diver...I met him diving!
But the relationship did not survive...yes there are those who speculate that I started SingleDivers.com as a way to recover from that relationship...although others simply say "she couldn't get a date"!
Regardless, my experiences were not stellar...I did not end up with the guy and he ended up with another girl.
So I ask you...have you been in long distance relationships before? If so did they work for you or not? And if they worked...what worked the best?
And what advice can you give for our very own 'SD Couples' attempting the LD path themselves????
Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD LEGACY/OLD/MANUAL Forms & Documents.... here !
Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!
Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906
#2
Posted 29 June 2005 - 12:39 AM
#3
Posted 29 June 2005 - 12:50 AM
Life's too short, anyway. If you wanna be with someone, go be with them. All that stuff we accumulate that we think matters, and that job that we hold so dear... none of that stuff really matters, does it?
I hope my life is judged by how well I lived it, and how well I loved, rather than by where I lived, or how, or by how much stuff I accumulated, or by how much money I made for my boss or some stockholder somewhere.
I've reached a stage in my life (maybe the onset of a midlife crisis? Or perhaps the conclusion of one?) where I believe that I'd gladly walk away from what little I've got to chase the experience of one great lasting love.
Life is a fleeting breath that could be taken from us in an instant... it's my opinion that the opportunity to truly love and be loved is so rare as to make anything else we think is important be recognized as inconsequential. If I thought I had an opportunity for something so precious with a person far away, then I'm going to put the distance aside and find a way to be with that person.
Distance is easy to overcome, but time - time is our most precious commodity. Every minute that passes is instantly gone forever, and can never be relived or repossessed. Our time is all we have, and to share mine with someone wonderful is time best spent. I have no interest in wasting a second of it where something so important as my heart is concerned.
Thus wanes the simple ideas of a person who can't seem to make a close-distance relationship function, let alone a long-distance one, so it's probably best that no one pays attention to anything I say.
-david
Psalms 107:23-24
#4
Posted 29 June 2005 - 01:18 AM
You may meet initially LD, but to make it work, one of you has to eventually relocate. That's not as easy as it sounds. To make a relationship work, you have to spend time TOGETHER, in person.... what advice can you give for our very own 'SD Couples' attempting the LD path themselves????
"A good marriage is like an interlocking neurosis, where the rocks in one person's head fill up the holes in the other's."
#5
Posted 29 June 2005 - 01:20 AM
Extremely well said, David! Although, once again, you're far too modest.
"so it's probably best that no one pays attention to anything I say." I don't think so!
Eloquent, honest, and articulate -- the only thing that confounds me is why you're single?!
*Standards* vs. *Needs*, I guess. (Join the club! )
#6
Posted 29 June 2005 - 01:26 AM
Well it does take two to tango! Even if David is the perfect match...if he does not pick a winning one as well...the end result is still the same.-- the only thing that confounds me is why you're single?!
Have you ever noticed how Relationships are like playing the Lottery? They are equally both a long shot...but people expect to play the lottery over and over again before they win. However with relationships...they expect to win the first or second time...or basically ANY time they play!
Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD LEGACY/OLD/MANUAL Forms & Documents.... here !
Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!
Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906
#7
Posted 29 June 2005 - 01:41 AM
Great points, Kamala!Well it does take two to tango! Even if David is the perfect match...if he does not pick a winning one as well...the end result is still the same.
 -- the only thing that confounds me is why you're single?!
Have you ever noticed how Relationships are like playing the Lottery? They are equally both a long shot...but people expect to play the lottery over and over again before they win. However with relationships...they expect to win the first or second time...or basically ANY time they play!
As I mentioned recently in another thread, dating -- whether it be online or other forms -- is most certainly a numbers game! But if people didn't think/hope/wish the next person they were interested in was potentially the *one*, wouldn't they just stop playing altogether?
As well, I do think *standards* come into play. Some people's standards are lower than others, perhaps due to low self-esteem, 'desperation', etc., so they're more willing to enter a relationship in order to get their needs met, whatever those may happen to be.
People have very different interpretations of what a *relationship* is. Some would be content with a *companion*, while others (myself included), would much prefer to meet a *soul mate*.
Just my 2 cents CDN . . . I have plenty more, unfortunately!
#8
Posted 29 June 2005 - 03:45 AM
My ex-wife lives (as far as I know) on the other side of the country. (She can stay there as far as I am concerned!) I was here,, she was there. It was very hard and when I moved over it didn't last. As a result I am now back with family and friends here.
My gorgeous former fiancée (and yes, soul mate) lives in Canada. We had plans for her to move over here but family ties, concerns about getting a job and the sheer logistics of the move convinced her to stay. I have to agree with her but am still very sad about it all. We still chat online when she and I are on at the same time. No hard feelings exist - which is a positive.
One must go on with life, however. It doesn't help to mope or gripe about the past. If you're getting into a long distance relationship be VERY certain about what you are doing, ask for advice from close friends and family and be prepared for heartache if it doesn't last.
Hope that helps.
SD's Aussie Connection.
#9
Posted 29 June 2005 - 04:25 AM
#10
Posted 29 June 2005 - 05:49 AM
#11
Posted 29 June 2005 - 06:34 AM
Once, on a dive trip, I met and fell in love with a beautiful lady who happened to live 12 time zones away. Five months later, she was living in my house, a month after that we were married. While, it eventually didn't work out, it had nothing to do with the long distance. We are still friends and have two beautiful (grown) children.
An even better example can be found currently working with one of our members, perhaps, he'll share.
DSSW,
WWW™
#12
Posted 29 June 2005 - 06:52 AM
Wouldn't do it again...but that's just me.
#13
Posted 29 June 2005 - 06:52 AM
I don't really believe in long distance relationships. Besides, they can get pretty expensive!
"You must have dreams of love, you must have desires. Perhaps you are made in such a way that you are afraid of them. Don't be. They are the best things you have."
Hermann Hesse
#14
Posted 29 June 2005 - 06:53 AM
touchéBeen there....done that....bought the t-shirt...sold the t-shirt in a garage sale.
Wouldn't do it again...but that's just me.
SD's Aussie Connection.
#15
Posted 29 June 2005 - 06:54 AM
When I first moved to Virginia, I was here by myself for 6 months before Donna moved up here with me. She had to finish teaching the semester in Florida. We got together every 3 to 4 weeks during that time.
For the past 9 or 10 months, Donna has been working and living in Florida and I have as you know, been working and living in Virginia. But, we had been married for 25 years before we started this long distance thing, so there was a very good foundation at the beginning. During this time, the longest we were apart was a month. We try to get together at least every 3 weeks. Donna is teaching at The Florida Institute of Technology, in Melbourne, so she has the summers off. Donna is here in Virginia with me for the summer. Some of you met both of us during the SD Memorial weekend trip. So the caveat that I have to share is, (this is probably, not for sure) before a long distance relationship can work, there must be a strong foundation to the relationship. And you have to get together regularly.
Franky, I hate being alone and I really, really miss her when she isn't here. We are partners in this life and I believe we will be forever. I miss my partner when she isn't there to talk to and to hold at night. And without asking, I know she has exactly the same feelings. Calling and talking to each other every night is just not the same.
So, can it work? Yes it can, but there are a lot of things to work out and there has to be a very strong relationship. I know that many will not work, and I was there many, many years ago. I was in Ft. Myers and my girlfriend was in Gainesville. That one didn't work out. However, we are friends today. I am surely glad now that it didn't work. Although at the time, I was pretty messed up about it.
Dennis
"Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress ... But I repeat myself." --Mark Twain
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