98 replies to this topic

[WreckWench]

I've always been curious exactly what flirting is and whether it is all in fun? Or is it a serious aspect to male/female interactions? Is all flirting equal? Do men flirt different than woman? Are women allowed to flirt as much men? And if they do...is it the same as when guys do it?

When a person is friendly to someone is that considered flirting? When you flirt with someone do you necessarily have to like them already or is flirting a type of 'communications sonar' that you send out to see if someone is or could be interested in you?

I am truly interested in other's peoples thoughts on this.

[AliKat]

Its something I'm usually way to shy to do :anna:

[finGrabber]

Well, this is a good question

I think most people flirt to find out just what the other person is thinking/feeling...so, if I say to a guy, "nice wetsuit", and he says "thanks" but nothing else, then I'd think he wasn't really interested

but if he says "you look really good in that wetsuit"...well, I think he might be interested...and just go from there

I don't think it can always be in fun nor is it always welcome...and I do think most women are a little more subtle when it comes to flirting...there's more innuendo with women than men

[wtxblaze]

Well it has been a long time since I last flirted with a gal. But I use to do it just for fun, I did't have to be interested in her or vice versa. It was fun and it was really fun if she took it well and joined in also. Most of it was just cutting up and word play and maybe a little pokeing fun all in good humor of coarse, and age really didnt come into affect, it didn't matter if they were young or old, just as long as they got a kick out of it too. But that was many years ago and its sad to say but I think I forgot how to now days. I'm going to have to look into that and see if I can change that.

[finGrabber]

PPM, I think you mean

You look good in that drysuit!

[drbill]

Flirting? What is that?

Flirting is an interesting topic, WW. I guess I do it (at least women tell me I do, in a very respectful way of course), but I have certain rules. I will only flirt outright with a woman that I'm pretty sure is single and available (whether to me, or just the rest of the world). If she is attached, I will only flirt IF I know her and her SO well and all three of us realize that it is not to be taken seriously. Well if she is with a complete *ssh*le I may be more forthcoming.

One thing I really dislike is when someone comes up to me while I'm with a woman (yes, a rare event... you don't need to tell me) and starts flirting. If the woman has good sense (as most of the ones I'm with do, that's why they're not with me) they either suggest that he stop flirting, or that we walk away.

Because I'm usually uncertain about the status of a woman when I first meet her, I will simply be friendly and open. Of course I'm a terrible poker player, so if I have any "intentions" they usually are obvious. Of course I have nothing but "good" intentions!

Edited by drbill, 09 December 2005 - 09:00 PM.

[Twinklez]

Well it has been a long time since I last flirted with a gal. But I use to do it just for fun, I did't have to be interested in her or vice versa. It was fun and it was really fun if she took it well and joined in also. Most of it was just cutting up and word play and maybe a little pokeing fun all in good humor of coarse, and age really didnt come into affect, it didn't matter if they were young or old, just as long as they got a kick out of it too. But that was many years ago and its sad to say but I think I forgot how to now days. I'm going to have to look into that and see if I can change that.

Now Barry, I was at Lake Travis with you...remember? I don't think you've forgotten as much as you think you have.

[Twinklez]

Well, this is a good question

I think most people flirt to find out just what the other person is thinking/feeling...so, if I say to a guy, "nice wetsuit", and he says "thanks" but nothing else, then I'd think he wasn't really interested

but if he says "you look really good in that wetsuit"...well, I think he might be interested...and just go from there

I don't think it can always be in fun nor is it always welcome...and I do think most women are a little more subtle when it comes to flirting...there's more innuendo with women than men

There's part of the problem....someone "thinks" that someone else is doing something for a particular reason!

Because you do it for a particular reason doesn't mean that everybody else is, or most people are, or anybody else is for that matter.

Don't analyze...just enjoy it. If someone's flirtations make you smile, enjoy it. If you find you'd like to flirt back - do it.

Like most things, flirting can fall into two categories...the first being "it is what it is" and the second "it is what you make it." It can be in the first category for the flirt, and the second category for the flirtee; or vice versa. Someone may flirt with me just because they like to see my dimples when I smile. I may chose to interpret that as a romantic interest, but it doesn't mean that's what the flirt intended. On the other hand, the flirt may be intersted and testing the water and I think he's doing it just because that's what he does.

I flirt. I like flirting. I like being flirted with. I DO NOT like flirting that border on rude, obnoxious or the innuendo that I'm lose or easy - I'm not, and that's not flirting....it's just downright tacky!

I am sometimes subtle and sometimes not. Depends on my mood, depends on how I feel my flirtations may be received. Sometimes I flirt because it makes me smile, sometimes because I think it will make someone else smile. Sometimes...rarely, but sometimes I flirt to test the water. Most of the time...I just come right on out and say hello!

The bottom line...enjoy it! Just don't go overboard, and be sure to tell someone if their flirtations make you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes people just don't realize how someone else interprets their words or actions.

That's just my thoughts on the subject and certainly not intended to be imposed on anyone else.

Twinklez

Edited by Twinklez, 09 December 2005 - 11:07 PM.

[wtxblaze]

No I have Back In my good days you would have been laughing and smileing a whole lot more and not worried about your friend that showed up. You would have been alot more red faced and haveing alot more fun.

[wtxblaze]

Well, this is a good question

I think most people flirt to find out just what the other person is thinking/feeling...so, if I say to a guy, "nice wetsuit", and he says "thanks" but nothing else, then I'd think he wasn't really interested

but if he says "you look really good in that wetsuit"...well, I think he might be interested...and just go from there

I don't think it can always be in fun nor is it always welcome...and I do think most women are a little more subtle when it comes to flirting...there's more innuendo with women than men

so would it be appropriate to say....."you look good out of that wetsuit"?
because I have never seen you in one.
besides the other smart remark I made that night?

[Dennis]

Kamala,

An interesting question.

I flirt with Donna all the time. That flirting is fun and serious at the same time.

I also will flirt for fun with a lady that is a good friend, I know fairly well, and she knows we are just having fun. She also will know by then that I am really not interested in anything but a good friendship. Usually I will only do this after she initiates a "flirting" relationship. Like I said, it's only in fun and I really do not want anyone to get the wrong idea. I must say that at least half of my good friends are women. Why? Hell, I like women. Why not? Donna isn't jealous and I am not either. Donna is an engineer, a pilot, and now a professor teaching aeronautics, most of the people she works with are men. It is only normal that she will have good friends that are men. Does she flirt? Hell, I don't know, she isn't the flirting type, except I like it when she flirts with me. If she flirted with her friends the same way I flirt with mine, I wouldn't care at all. Does she know I flirt, yes.

[WreckWench]

Kamala,

An interesting question.

I flirt with Donna all the time. That flirting is fun and serious at the same time.

I also will flirt for fun with a lady that is a good friend, I know fairly well, and she knows we are just having fun. She also will know by then that I am really not interested in anything but a good friendship. Usually I will only do this after she initiates a "flirting" relationship. Like I said, it's only in fun and I really do not want anyone to get the wrong idea. I must say that at least half of my good friends are women. Why? Hell, I like women. Why not? Donna isn't jealous and I am not either. Donna is an engineer, a pilot, and now a professor teaching aeronautics, most of the people she works with are men. It is only normal that she will have good friends that are men. Does she flirt? Hell, I don't know, she isn't the flirting type, except I like it when she flirts with me. If she flirted with her friends the same way I flirt with mine, I wouldn't care at all. Does she know I flirt, yes.

Great insight...I think part of the key is the part about the other party knowing you are having fun and are not interested in anything but a good friendship.

Of course that is not always clear when you are single and flirting in general. And I think it ALL starts off as 'just fun' and perhaps for the person doing the flirting it always stays "just fun"...but how can you tell when the other party isn't receiving it as "just fun" or they begin to take it seriously or worse yet, misunderstand the flirting and read more into it?

Then to keep it really challenging...how do you let someone know that its NOT 'just fun' and that you ARE serious...that is if you really are???

[Walter]

Flirting is the human mating dance. Sometimes it's serious, sometimes it's merely practice. It should always be fun. How do you tell if it's for practice or serious? You don't, not at the start. Flirting will escalate. When it escalates, your flirting partner will eventually put on the brakes if they aren't serious. If you aren't serious, you'll back off. Most flirting is merely practice or feeling out the situation to see if it has potential. Flirting builds sexual tension, if tactfully done, that's a fun feeling.

[Latitude Adjustment]

Damm, Kim has never commented on my wetsuit I think women get a lot more practice with the flirting and come back lines than men do.
If you don't know what flirting is you need to come on an SD trip