74 replies to this topic

[wtxblaze]

Plan my next dive trip!

Is that going to be January 1st at CSSP for the Polar Bears Club?

[Twinklez]

Let's go diving!

Walter, I already owe you a visit. Kim and I are going to plan a road trip before too long, and you'll definately be "the destination" (Though we may stop at a few other "attractions" along the way!

Tina

Plan my next dive trip!

Is that going to be January 1st at CSSP for the Polar Bears Club?

Hmmm...you know, I bet I can get drysuit trained before the 1st...but then again, I'd brave it in the 5mm merino lined Fusion if I knew some kind gentleman would have a warm fire waiting for me upon my exit from the icey waters. :-)

I can hear Steve now... "Are you a diver?" My reply, "I'm a diver." Steve, "Ain't but one thing to do" My reply, "I'll get my gear on." Of course you'll hear my muttering beneath my breath..."Damn!"

Barry, at this point...I think I'll be at CSSP on the 1st. I'll bring something to make hot cocoa - we'll need lots of it.

[wtxblaze]

I still have some firewood in the back of the pickup just need to get some warm diving gear myself, I don't think the 3mm is going to cut it.

[ScubaDadMiami]

While I would not intentionally look for complications (such as distance) from the outset, that does not mean anyone should purposely avoid establishing a relationship with someone that is worthwhile only because of issues like these once interest or feelings develop. If it is the real thing, go for it!

[Twinklez]

While I would not intentionally look for complications (such as distance) from the outset, that does not mean anyone should purposely avoid establishing a relationship with someone that is worthwhile only because of issues like these once interest or feelings develop. If it is the real thing, go for it!

Well, see...that's my point. Lots of people do the online thing. Chances of meeting someone local online aren't really all that great even in a big city. Now I know the possibility of romance with someone several states away or in another country is pretty slim; but we're talking an hour or two to maybe half-day drive max. There are a few men that have gone and do go out of their way to dive with me when they could be diving with their local buddies instead. But for all so far...distance is stated as the reason there could never be anything other than friendship. The message it sends me is "if you were worth it; I'd consider it....but you're not so I'll move on". Ouch!

So if you're looking for complications (like distance) initially; you're ruling out the possibility for feelings or interest to develop. Love at first sight is a wonderful fantasy, but chances of it lasting a lifetime are slim.

[annasea]

While I would not intentionally look for complications (such as distance) from the outset, that does not mean anyone should purposely avoid establishing a relationship with someone that is worthwhile only because of issues like these once interest or feelings develop. If it is the real thing, go for it!

Well, see...that's my point. Lots of people do the online thing. Chances of meeting someone local online aren't really all that great even in a big city. Now I know the possibility of romance with someone several states away or in another country is pretty slim; but we're talking an hour or two to maybe half-day drive max. There are a few men that have gone and do go out of their way to dive with me when they could be diving with their local buddies instead. But for all so far...distance is stated as the reason there could never be anything other than friendship. The message it sends me is "if you were worth it; I'd consider it....but you're not so I'll move on". Ouch!

So if you're looking for complications (like distance) initially; you're ruling out the possibility for feelings or interest to develop. Love at first sight is a wonderful fantasy, but chances of it lasting a lifetime are slim.

Howard and Tina,

Excellent points and posts!!

[ScubaDadMiami]

[I]f you're looking for complications (like distance) initially; you're ruling out the possibility for feelings or interest to develop.

I didn't say that it was easy. But, if it happens, it's worth it. Distance will not automatically "rul[e] out the possibility for feelings or interest to develop." Feelings and relationships can still happen even with distance.

[Warthog]

Distance is a relative term. I grew up in Nebraska and drove 45 minutes to an hour on a weekly basis. My highschool was a 20 minute car ride (two hour bus ride), one way.

Most ppl around the DC area commute an hour+ everyday. Two+ hours being 'too long' for the greatest of all pursutes ('Trew Luuv') sounds like a weak excuse to me.

-Warthog

[finley]

I'm with Walter.....I am in Houston because of my soulmate ( see my comments there).( and am single again)..it is real different when you are hyped up for a weekend or a week off together...it is really different when you see what everyday life is like......I think if I were to consider serious involvement...the man would have to live close enough that we could be in each others daily lives ...that is part of knowing who they are and who we are in the midst of them.

[Twinklez]

I'm with Walter.....I am in Houston because of my soulmate ( see my comments there).( and am single again)..it is real different when you are hyped up for a weekend or a week off together...it is really different when you see what everyday life is like......I think if I were to consider serious involvement...the man would have to live close enough that we could be in each others daily lives ...that is part of knowing who they are and who we are in the midst of them.

Been there, got the t-shirt. I moved from SoCal to Texas six years ago because of a man who now is no longer in my life. Doesn't mean I wouldn't do it again for the prospect of a lasting relationship.

One thing I do know: Regardless of "who" I'm in the midst of I will always be "me."

Edited by Twinklez, 13 December 2005 - 06:42 PM.

[Mitch0129]

Twinklez, if I may add my thoughts ....

Having done the long-distance romance twice in my life, I can tell you it is very hard even in the best of circumstances. Both times, we lived within three hours of each other but we could not make it work. However, in both instances, the distance was just one part of what caused the break-ups.

For me, if I can drive to her place and back in one night, it is not a problem. For example, if I lived in the Woodlands (north of Houston) and she lived in the Clear Lake area (south of Houston), it would not be a problem. If she lived in College Station or Huntsville, both about 90-minute drive from my current place in Houston, it would not be a problem. We would just find a way to make it work.

I don't see anything that can be a hard-and-fast rule as far as handling this kind of situation, you have to handle it as it goes. If he is not willing to drive two hours one way to come see you, then I doubt he was really interested to begin with.

[Twinklez]

I don't see anything that can be a hard-and-fast rule as far as handling this kind of situation, you have to handle it as it goes. If he is not willing to drive two hours one way to come see you, then I doubt he was really interested to begin with.

Thank you Mitch for your input. It's not so much a particular person, but seems most all that I have met since being single have been of the same mentality. If I'm more than the next town over, I'm just too far for a relationship; but not necessarily too far for...a friend... with occasional benefits. Maybe the men I've met just want to be able to sample the goods routinely before even considering anything long term. Maybe I expect too much, maybe I'm old fashioned, maybe, maybe. The bottom line is that I don't wish to be sampled and I'm not willing to settle for friends with benefits.

The marriage that brought me to Texas only lasted six years, yet like your relationships, it was not distance that caused our problems. We lived 1800 miles apart! That's 24 hours driving straight through on a good day, unless you can afford plane tickets on a regular basis.

After reading all the responses to my question, it has become very clear that those I have met so far just really aren't that interested. The next time I hear the distance explanation I'll see it for what it really is and that will make it much easier for me to move on down the road.

Thank you, Twinklez

[WreckWench]

It is hard to get interested in a few phone calls, emails and by looking at a few pictures. However if given time and you can learn about the *real* person, then establishing interest is more tangible.

Take internet message boards. Although most are NOT dating sites...they do provide a unique venue to really get to know someone for who they are...and not just who they want to be. Its natural to want to present our best side but over time it all hangs out in a community such as this one. It also gives someone a chance to get to know you in a way that they might not of had they merely checked out your profile online.

So put yourself into arenas that allow real contact with people...and when you least expect it...you may just find the 'match' you are waiting for. That is what I'm doing....and that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!

[annasea]

Maybe the men I've met just want to be able to sample the goods routinely before even considering anything long term. Maybe I expect too much, maybe I'm old fashioned, maybe, maybe. The bottom line is that I don't wish to be sampled and I'm not willing to settle for friends with benefits.

Much to you, Tina!

[drbill]

With no disrespect intended, Tina, I'm open for sampling! Even remotely due to distance. Oh, I'm just teasing y'all (or is it all y'all as I've been told by a friend who used to play the Texas music circuit?). I must have had too much of them thar holiday "spirits" everyone's been talking 'bout!

Edited by drbill, 22 December 2005 - 12:01 AM.