I know what guys do. We generally make asses out of ourselves in public. I haven't observed this sort of behavior in the female of the species.
Help us out here!
-d
How's a guy to know?
Started by
David Evans
, Mar 31 2006 12:05 AM
87 replies to this topic
#1
David Evans
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Posted 31 March 2006 - 12:05 AM
Tell me - what sort of things do you ladies do to help us poor clueless men figure out that you might be interested in a romantic relationship with us?
I know what guys do. We generally make asses out of ourselves in public. I haven't observed this sort of behavior in the female of the species.
Help us out here!
-d
I know what guys do. We generally make asses out of ourselves in public. I haven't observed this sort of behavior in the female of the species.
Help us out here!
-d
"They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; These see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep."
Psalms 107:23-24
Psalms 107:23-24
#2
annasea
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Posted 31 March 2006 - 12:09 AM
Do you have a particular scenario or two in mind so we can respond accordingly?
For example: Are you already friends with the woman? Or have you recently met and are unsure of whether you should ask her out?
Some details would be most helpful.
For example: Are you already friends with the woman? Or have you recently met and are unsure of whether you should ask her out?
Some details would be most helpful.
#3
David Evans
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Posted 31 March 2006 - 12:16 AM
Ah, this is more a hypothetical... I guess you could say I'm not looking right now (which is a symptom of me kinda figuring out who I am than it is my being in a relationship).
I'm just thinking... you know, in the event someday I should start evaluating the prospects of a relationship... it's been a while since I've been looking, so I'm kinda rusty.
Let's take the first scenario and see how it goes: A guy is acquainted with a you, maybe you are friends, or maybe colleagues. You're interested. How do you clue the poor schmuck in that he should ask you out?
Cuz as you well know, we're so dense that light bends around us.
-d
I'm just thinking... you know, in the event someday I should start evaluating the prospects of a relationship... it's been a while since I've been looking, so I'm kinda rusty.
Let's take the first scenario and see how it goes: A guy is acquainted with a you, maybe you are friends, or maybe colleagues. You're interested. How do you clue the poor schmuck in that he should ask you out?
Cuz as you well know, we're so dense that light bends around us.
-d
"They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; These see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep."
Psalms 107:23-24
Psalms 107:23-24
#4
David Evans
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Posted 31 March 2006 - 12:20 AM
Ok, and while you're at it, I like your second scenario as well. You've recently met a guy through a mutual friend... and you are thinking to yourself "I *gotta* get me some of THAT!" (or whatever it is you ladies think).
Seems somehow unfair that women got both the brains AND the looks!
-d
Seems somehow unfair that women got both the brains AND the looks!
-d
"They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; These see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep."
Psalms 107:23-24
Psalms 107:23-24
#5
WreckWench
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Posted 31 March 2006 - 01:52 AM
I think you will find that it is just as hard for a gal to let a guy know she is interested in him as it is for him to let her know that he is interested in her.
First it starts with being friendly. But just because a gal is friendly or vice versa doesn't mean they are necessarily interested in you romantically. But they could be certainly letting you know that they could be interested. Again I think guys do the same...you start off friendly which is the first step and says I could be interested if you responded with some reciprocity.
Now comes the hard part...timing...tenure...and tenacity. If the signals keep flowing and and the object male or female continues to be friendly in return i.e. mutual flirting, teasing, finding reasons to talk to one another, commenting on a post you wrote, asking for advice, etc. then you are moving in the right direction. Granted at any time either party may pull back making it seem that all it was, was being friendly. But therein lies the key...if it KEEPS looking like you BOTH are being friendly then up the odds a bit. Suggest you catch a movie together...or a bite to eat...or even go diving together or hook up at an SD Happy Hour. If you find you can't keep your eyes off each other, or feel as if you want to talk all night to that person, those vibes will be apparent to the other person. If you find that the object of your affection has spent most of the night talking to you after building to the point of being around them, then it is safe to say that they have shown interest.
Now taking that interest and pursuing it is critical at this time. You can't stay in the 'dance' stages forever or the sparks you thought you felt will have nothing to ignite with. So at this point step up the ante and boldly ask the person out. At this point in time women will usually defer to the man to step in and take over. As the more natural pursuer he should feel confident at this point in leading the way. And by the way guys...if you reach this point...many women need to know that you REALLY like them and want to get to know them better. Boldness is appropriate at this stage. Once the gal has shown she is interested, you need to be decisive and go for it. If she decides that is not what she thought or what she wants or you decide that, then both of you will be better off for deciding quicker than slower. The world is too short to live it alone forever yet it is also too short to stretch things out indefinitly.
I hope this helps and I hope you enjoy the journey back...it will be fun!
First it starts with being friendly. But just because a gal is friendly or vice versa doesn't mean they are necessarily interested in you romantically. But they could be certainly letting you know that they could be interested. Again I think guys do the same...you start off friendly which is the first step and says I could be interested if you responded with some reciprocity.
Now comes the hard part...timing...tenure...and tenacity. If the signals keep flowing and and the object male or female continues to be friendly in return i.e. mutual flirting, teasing, finding reasons to talk to one another, commenting on a post you wrote, asking for advice, etc. then you are moving in the right direction. Granted at any time either party may pull back making it seem that all it was, was being friendly. But therein lies the key...if it KEEPS looking like you BOTH are being friendly then up the odds a bit. Suggest you catch a movie together...or a bite to eat...or even go diving together or hook up at an SD Happy Hour. If you find you can't keep your eyes off each other, or feel as if you want to talk all night to that person, those vibes will be apparent to the other person. If you find that the object of your affection has spent most of the night talking to you after building to the point of being around them, then it is safe to say that they have shown interest.
Now taking that interest and pursuing it is critical at this time. You can't stay in the 'dance' stages forever or the sparks you thought you felt will have nothing to ignite with. So at this point step up the ante and boldly ask the person out. At this point in time women will usually defer to the man to step in and take over. As the more natural pursuer he should feel confident at this point in leading the way. And by the way guys...if you reach this point...many women need to know that you REALLY like them and want to get to know them better. Boldness is appropriate at this stage. Once the gal has shown she is interested, you need to be decisive and go for it. If she decides that is not what she thought or what she wants or you decide that, then both of you will be better off for deciding quicker than slower. The world is too short to live it alone forever yet it is also too short to stretch things out indefinitly.
I hope this helps and I hope you enjoy the journey back...it will be fun!
Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
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864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906
#6
ScubaPunk
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Posted 31 March 2006 - 10:02 PM
You'll know...trust me on this one.
#7
drbill
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Posted 01 April 2006 - 10:14 AM
I side with David on this one. It is often very difficult to know if a woman is really interested, or just flirting.
For example, a few months ago an attractive lady instructor came running up and gave me a big hug. We talked for some time during our surface interval. I sent her two e-mails that week to follow up, but she never replied. The next time she came out, I got a nice hug and we talked some more. Then last weekend she was out again... and introduced me to her new BF.
Actually that happened two other times as well, although one may still be "active."
Ladies, we need clearer signals... we are cavemen in basic wiring (although can overcome that and be gentlemen towards you).
For example, a few months ago an attractive lady instructor came running up and gave me a big hug. We talked for some time during our surface interval. I sent her two e-mails that week to follow up, but she never replied. The next time she came out, I got a nice hug and we talked some more. Then last weekend she was out again... and introduced me to her new BF.
Actually that happened two other times as well, although one may still be "active."
Ladies, we need clearer signals... we are cavemen in basic wiring (although can overcome that and be gentlemen towards you).
#8
Travelnsj
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Posted 01 April 2006 - 11:23 AM
Now comes the hard part...timing...tenure...and tenacity.
In all of what Kamala had to say...boils down (to me)....timing, tenure and tenacity....being I have spent most of my single life pursuing that.....In the last few years I have come to the realization it is simpler and a lot more fun...that.... I could go to Palau...30 dives...and back....while I am waiting for the timing, tenure and tenacity....to fall in place....Chemistry and sparks must be at play from the onset (for me)....or I'll be in Belize, Bali. Tahiti touring or diving...while she is waiting for the...timing, tenure and trnacity to fall in place....LOL
Edited by Travelnsj, 01 April 2006 - 11:26 AM.
You must endeavor to pursue!
#9
annasea
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Posted 01 April 2006 - 12:05 PM
Ladies, we need clearer signals...
Yes, but even when you're sent them, you don't always receive them!
#10
WreckWench
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Posted 01 April 2006 - 01:43 PM
Ladies, we need clearer signals...
Yes, but even when you're sent them, you don't always receive them!
Yes it does work both ways...we often want someone who does not want us. Alas the dance continues....
Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD LEGACY/OLD/MANUAL Forms & Documents.... here !
Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!
Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906
#11
Latitude Adjustment
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Posted 01 April 2006 - 02:12 PM
You'll know...trust me on this one.
See, that's the problem, women think we know and we don't
I, Latitude Adjustment (insert log in name), do hereby swear, (politely), that I shall not hold SingleDivers, (SD), nor any SD poster, (real or imagined), liable, nor shall I seek legal restitution, (real or imagined), for any perceived, (real or imagined), offenses I may incur, (or Incurrrrrrrrrr on talk like a pirate day), that may or may not be posted on this or any SCUBA related board, (real or imagined), by anyone, (real or imagined), anywhere, (real or imagined). Further, I void any right to privacy, (real or imagined), as it may, or may not relate to any posting, (real or imagined), about me, to me, for me, because of me, all about me, my dog, my cat, my bird, my monkey, my family, (real or imagined), my friends, (real or imagined), or my world, (real or imagined).
By all that is wet, I do hereby swear, (politely), and attest, upon pain of never diving again, (real or imagined), that I understand and affirm, that I agree to the above.
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By all that is wet, I do hereby swear, (politely), and attest, upon pain of never diving again, (real or imagined), that I understand and affirm, that I agree to the above.
_________________________________________(log in name signature)
Signed and Dated
#12
annasea
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Posted 01 April 2006 - 04:43 PM
Ladies, we need clearer signals...
Yes, but even when you're sent them, you don't always receive them!
Yes it does work both ways...we often want someone who does not want us. Alas the dance continues....
LOL! True, but that's not quite what I meant. I was writing about the situations where a woman (or man) sends out the signal that she or he is not interested, but the other party doesn't seem to pick up on it.
#13
blacktar
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Posted 01 April 2006 - 04:45 PM
Kick her in the shins. If she kicks you back you're golden.
BLACKTAR
"The edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who know where it is are those that have gone over." Hunter S. Thompson
"The edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who know where it is are those that have gone over." Hunter S. Thompson
#14
drbill
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Posted 01 April 2006 - 05:09 PM
Ladies, we need clearer signals...
Yes, but even when you're sent them, you don't always receive them!
Yes it does work both ways...we often want someone who does not want us. Alas the dance continues....
LOL! True, but that's not quite what I meant. I was writing about the situations where a woman (or man) sends out the signal that she or he is not interested, but the other party doesn't seem to pick up on it.
Sigh, Caetllonn... I read your signals loud and clear the first time! At least you know how to communicate (my stomach still hurts).
#15
grock
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Posted 01 April 2006 - 07:12 PM
Ladies, we need clearer signals...
Yes, but even when you're sent them, you don't always receive them!
Yes it does work both ways...we often want someone who does not want us. Alas the dance continues....
LOL! True, but that's not quite what I meant. I was writing about the situations where a woman (or man) sends out the signal that she or he is not interested, but the other party doesn't seem to pick up on it.
Sigh, Caetllonn... I read your signals loud and clear the first time! At least you know how to communicate (my stomach still hurts).
Too much of game playing for me...if you like someone, just ask them out...if they say yes, then there you have it...if they say no, then you know they're not interested...seems simple to me...
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