161 replies to this topic

[Hipshot]

As I was reading through the messages on this topic. I saw many things that I agree with.

As a single female, working on a Ph.D. - frankly, I've given up. I'm tired of guys that are intimidated with my education or my previous job (engineer) or and money I was making, or my hobbies.

Yes, I'm happy with my life. I own my own house, I have friends (non-divers until now) and pets. I have money in the bank and a retirement account to boot.

But, as long as everyone is being honest, I'm tired of people assuming that because I'm naturally blonde, well, that says enough right there. And, now that I'm a teacher.... people look down on what I'm doing, like I'm not a professional. Hmmm!

Like I said in a previous post, I'm just glad to have found this site, and people with the same interests, and people to dive with. I was getting tired of going on trips solo and trying to find someone who wanted to buddy up, or being able to dive with someone who is similar in experience. (sorry newbie divers, but some times we want to do harder dive sites, and can't because of the experience of our buddy).

Cheer up Guys! - you're a welcome relief to someone who seems to only meet non-swimmers or people who need to ask, "is it okay that I'm scared to death of water." Urgh!!

pamela

I have sooooooooo many times heard the same thing about the guys being "intimidated" by me. I agree with everything you are saying here. I am in the exact same boat!

Intimidation isn't restricted to just men being intimidated by intelligent women. In my non-diving life, I'm president of a chapter of Mensa, and I've had women tell me that it's intimidating. That said, I agree with both of you 100%.

Quite honestly, my competition isn't with the woman I'd be dating, but with other guys that she could date. In fact, back when I was engaged, I'd freely admit that my fiancee was smarter than I was. I veiwed it as a positive that this extremely intelligent woman was with me.

Rick



Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.

[echo3]

and here it is that guys like me cant find smart women!

That being said, I have had my experince with women who thought too much of their education (being snobs about it). I've also had exerince with those who didn't have a great education (very defensive about things they didn't know (no interest in learning anything).

any middle of the road types out there?

[jholley309]

He's learning the language. Very good! Where'd you find the font?

Well, slowly learning the language.

I'm using WinXP which has Cyrillic fonts built-in. I had to dig a bit to figure out how to get to it, but I have it set up so that I can switch back and forth from Cyrillic to English. I got some keycap stickers to Russify the keyboard, too; makes it much easier to type. My girlfriend still giggles when I try out new vocabulary on her, though. Maybe it's my accent...

Cheers!

Jim

[shadragon]

I'm using WinXP which has Cyrillic fonts built-in. I had to dig a bit to figure out how to get to it, but I have it set up so that I can switch back and forth from Cyrillic to English. I got some keycap stickers to Russify the keyboard, too; makes it much easier to type. My girlfriend still giggles when I try out new vocabulary on her, though. Maybe it's my accent...

Once you get the 36 character alphabet down with concatenated letter combinations it is really not that hard to learn. Having someone warm and curvy to inspire you is always the best form of motivation...

Удачи и хорошего настроения!

[jholley309]

Удачи и хорошего настроения!

Спасибо!

Ваше здоровье!

Джим

[Translation for our non-Russian-speaking friends: Thanks! Cheers! Jim]

[Walter]

My girlfriend still giggles when I try out new vocabulary on her, though. Maybe it's my accent...

Cheers!

Jim

It's more likely that you are not using the correct form of the word. Kinda like using "I" or "me" in English. They are the same word, but one is a subject, the other an object. Almost every word in Russian is like that since word order carries no meaning. (interestingly the Russian word for "I" or "me" - "ya" [which looks like a reversed R] is the same as a subject or an object) It's difficult for us since word order is extremely important in English. Now toss in gender for all the nouns and adverbs, I still get lost. Ya gavaroo pa rooskie tolka neem noga. (no Cyrillic fonts - sorry)

[dustbowl diver]

My girlfriend still giggles when I try out new vocabulary on her, though. Maybe it's my accent...

Cheers!

Jim

It's more likely that you are not using the correct form of the word. Kinda like using "I" or "me" in English. They are the same word, but one is a subject, the other an object. Almost every word in Russian is like that since word order carries no meaning. (interestingly the Russian word for "I" or "me" - "ya" [which looks like a reversed R] is the same as a subject or an object) It's difficult for us since word order is extremely important in English. Now toss in gender for all the nouns and adverbs, I still get lost. Ya gavaroo pa rooskie tolka neem noga. (no Cyrillic fonts - sorry)

Walter,
Now Russian? What's next??

[Walter]

Once upon a time, I dived in Siberia where I met a wonderful lady from Novosibirsk. We were married for several years and have two lovely children (now both adults). They are all bilingual, I can order a beer, find the restroom and get my face slapped in Russian. Those are the three essentials.

[dustbowl diver]

Once upon a time, I dived in Siberia where I met a wonderful lady from Novosibirsk. We were married for several years and have two lovely children (now both adults). They are all bilingual, I can order a beer, find the restroom and get my face slapped in Russian. Those are the three essentials.

That would explain it then!!

[JohnEric]

so very true, I am amazed that as much as things change they stay the same. I have learned that being a "nice guy" is an odd term. I am far from "nice" but I am polite, well mannered and educated, respectful of women and I take care of my daugther and responsiblities. When called up I can also be downright dangerus. But none of that makes me "nice" which seems to me sort of a namby pamby term. I assume if I was "bad" I would beat up random strangers!
women are complicated creatures and that is a great deal of thier charm!

Women (most of them, anyway and all the ones in which you'd be interested) LIKE nice guys. Just because they aren't interested in you and do date the bad boys doesn't mean they don't like nice guys. YOUR problem is you don't understand the concept of a nice guy.

You have fallen victim of watching bad movies and listening to your mothers. Both are horrible places to get dating advice. Being a nice guy does not mean being a door mat or a wimp. Women are NOT attracted to wimps. When you act like a wimp, you turn women OFF!!!! Stop acting like a wimp. You can be confident, and decisive and still be a nice guy. You can open doors for women (and other men, for that matter) without being a wimp.

Many "nice guys" are trying to manipulate women and women can spot it immediately. Be yourself. Act like you're with you guy friends. Be funny, tease a woman, make her laugh. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a man who makes her laugh and who takes charge. Women like strong men. If you are constantly complimenting her, it comes across as manipulative. Stop it.

Have you ever noticed that women in whom you have no interest are often attracted to you? That's because you are a nice guy, you are attractive to women when you are simply "being yourself." If you aren't attracted to a woman, you treat her differently than you treat women to whom you are attracted. When you're attracted to a woman, you aren't yourself when she's around. Instead you turn into a wimp. STOP it!!!!!

Never ask a woman for a date. Instead, invite her to join you on an adventure. Plan something fun, diving is an excellent choice, then go do it and have a blast regardless of her joining you. Your enjoyment should not be dependent on her being there. Women are like men in that they like to have fun. If you are having fun, women will want to be with you. If you're not having fun, they'll want to be elsewhere.

Russian, Belorussian, and Ukrainian women are beautiful, they are wonderful ladies, but they live in countries with horrible economies. They are desperate to come to the US, Canada or western Europe. They will profess undying love just to escape the conditions under which they live. They will marry you, have children with you and in the process might even fall in love with you, but not if you continue to be a wimp. If you remain a wimp with women, they'll leave you as soon as they can do so and legally stay in the west. Others from the former USSR will try to trick you into sending them money.

Clean up your act and you won't need to look to the former Soviet Union for women.

VERY well put Walter!!!! Most men don't want a wimpy woman who cannot think for herself, why would a woman want a man without a backbone? I like nice guys, I do not like wimpy guys I can take advantage of! Guys like this make me feel like the bully on the playground with the magnifying glass playing with the helpless ants. I appreciate someone who can be themselves with me, making me laugh is key. As you said....we all like to have fun...if we don't laugh and have fun with you, we will find someone else who fufills these needs!!!


AND Moose.....being polite does not make you a wimp! As Walter said, if the motive is not pure, we can see right through it, so relax, and be yourself! All good things come to those who wait.

Love will find you in the strangest of places, and most often, it happens when you are not looking for it at all.

[casematic]

if the dating situation here is so rosy, then maybe you can find me a woman that's willing to work at a relationship without expecting it to be fairy tale romance and rainbows, and who is serious about marriage and kids. And who doesn't particularly care about how much I make as long as I can keep a decent roof over our heads, or how big the stone in her engagement ring is going to be.

Couldn't resist commenting.... I'd say you've ran across the same thing that many of us have.... and I think it occurs in both men and women.... We notice it being more in women because we're men (but I'm sure we're plenty guilty of it too) ... I'm talking about the sense of 'entitlement' that most people have today.... the world owes them a living - and that attitude has expanded to relationships ... I'll admit that I have considered the international dating for that very reason... but I'd like to think there are still several compatible (for me) ladies out there (and just a little more local) ... as we get older though, there are less and less potential cantidates because the good ones seem to get taken out of circulation (again, I'm sure that happens to both sides)... I've had plenty of 'misses'.... and stayed out of circulation for long periods, but I'm learning to try 'less' and be myself 'more'.... and not worry about if I make a mistake and she loses interest... there will be someone else... who might even be better...

I wish you luck in your romantic endeavor

[Walter]

... as we get older though, there are less and less potential cantidates because the good ones seem to get taken out of circulation (again, I'm sure that happens to both sides)...

That would indicate that you, me and the rest of us still in circulation are not "the good ones." It might even be true...........something to consider................

[Cold_H2O]

I will have to try that reasoning with my Mom..
Let her know that I am not one of "the good ones" and therefore will have to stay single.

Could you explain what makes someone not one of the good ones?
Knowing my Mom I will need proof to back up my claim.

[weescot]

... as we get older though, there are less and less potential cantidates because the good ones seem to get taken out of circulation (again, I'm sure that happens to both sides)...

That would indicate that you, me and the rest of us still in circulation are not "the good ones." It might even be true...........something to consider................

I hear this so often. I think it is also a case that some of us are perhaps more discerning, or want to have some other experiences first - and I think I fall into this category - but I consider myself a "good one". I still believe there are good guys and girls out there that are still available and compatible - but for many it is a simple issue of "access to the diminishing market". where do we go to meet people with the same interests and aspirations when we often have busy lives and lifestyles,? this is where the internet has helped filled the "access to markets" gap. But is still often a game of chance and luck.

[netmage]

... but for many it is a simple issue of "access to the diminishing market". where do we go to meet people with the same interests and aspirations when we often have busy lives and lifestyles,? this is where the internet has helped filled the "access to markets" gap.

Hello..... the dive boat!