161 replies to this topic

[casematic]

That would indicate that you, me and the rest of us still in circulation are not "the good ones." It might even be true...........something to consider................

I've certainly pondered that over the years (fortunately came up empty) .... but as I get older, I'm sure I get more set in my ways.... and less tolerant of bs ... looking on the dive boat would be great place to find someone... and maybe someday I will, but I haven't seen hardly any 'single' women divers where I am.....(admittedly however, I don't look that hard).

[weescot]

... but for many it is a simple issue of "access to the diminishing market". where do we go to meet people with the same interests and aspirations when we often have busy lives and lifestyles,? this is where the internet has helped filled the "access to markets" gap.

Hello..... the dive boat!

Yep - the dive boat. My dive boat interactions over the past 12 months however has been to make polite chitty chat with 1 or 2 week vacationing divers in the Siani area over my 2 day weekend. Invaribaly they have been couples or families though... I am glad I have found SD - so I can at least look forward to diving with like minded people.

[JohnEric]

While women are no doubt often attracted to the "bad boys", it is certainly not true that they won't respond to a man who is truly genuine in his sweetness and caring....I think the key is in the genuine-ness and perhaps, as Walter says, his confidence in who he is. And, certainly, women DO like to laugh and have fun. That may be where the bad boys "get it", in that they will tease and joke with women.

As for the M-word and women being scared of it, I think that many people just don't really include it in their sphere of possibilities until they are actually involved with someone, that much to their surprise, makes them realize it might indeed be a possibility. But it takes time to get to that point of involvement, and certainly won't be in play on those first few dates or adventures.

ahhh the age old queston, the key is to be both a "nice" guy and a bad boy all at the same time...the trick is to know when to be which

[Topless]

I've certainly pondered that over the years (fortunately came up empty) .... but as I get older, I'm sure I get more set in my ways.... and less tolerant of bs ... looking on the dive boat would be great place to find someone... and maybe someday I will, but I haven't seen hardly any 'single' women divers where I am.....(admittedly however, I don't look that hard).

There aren't many female divers around here either. Invariably I'm the only single diver on my dive trips, so meeting ladies on dive boats also hasn't worked out. Of course, my idea of a lady diver apparently differs from many of the women I've talked to.

I had dinner with a lady a few weeks ago. She said she was a serious diver and loved diving, and had just returned from a dive trip to the Bahamas. She was amazed that I was going to do 20 dives or so on my trip to Grand Cayman last week. On her dive trip to the Bahamas she made TWO dives.

I'm not a diehard diver by any means. I'm not going to make 30-40 dives a week, that's just not fun to me. I like to relax, talk to my tripmates, enjoy a good cigar, sightsee, etc.

I'm with casematic though, I'm not looking very hard. There's too many other things out there to enjoy.

[BeachBunny]

I just moved from KNoxville, what shop do you dive with?

I've certainly pondered that over the years (fortunately came up empty) .... but as I get older, I'm sure I get more set in my ways.... and less tolerant of bs ... looking on the dive boat would be great place to find someone... and maybe someday I will, but I haven't seen hardly any 'single' women divers where I am.....(admittedly however, I don't look that hard).

There aren't many female divers around here either. Invariably I'm the only single diver on my dive trips, so meeting ladies on dive boats also hasn't worked out. Of course, my idea of a lady diver apparently differs from many of the women I've talked to.

I had dinner with a lady a few weeks ago. She said she was a serious diver and loved diving, and had just returned from a dive trip to the Bahamas. She was amazed that I was going to do 20 dives or so on my trip to Grand Cayman last week. On her dive trip to the Bahamas she made TWO dives.

I'm not a diehard diver by any means. I'm not going to make 30-40 dives a week, that's just not fun to me. I like to relax, talk to my tripmates, enjoy a good cigar, sightsee, etc.

I'm with casematic though, I'm not looking very hard. There's too many other things out there to enjoy.

[Topless]

I just moved from KNoxville, what shop do you dive with?

Adventure Scuba Diving, they're in West Knoxville in the shopping center with Barnes and Noble and Toys R Us.

[BeachBunny]

I just moved from KNoxville, what shop do you dive with?

Adventure Scuba Diving, they're in West Knoxville in the shopping center with Barnes and Noble and Toys R Us.

I checked them out! They seemed great but I moved before I could do anything with them!

[Topless]

I checked them out! They seemed great but I moved before I could do anything with them!

I like them a lot. The owner and his wife are a blast. I've done 3 dive trips with them in the last 8 weeks. CoCoView, Dominica, and Grand Cayman. I have a standing reservation on all of their trips.

[JamesW]

WAKE UP!!!!

You guys are suffering from delusions.

Women (most of them, anyway and all the ones in which you'd be interested) LIKE nice guys. Just because they aren't interested in you and do date the bad boys doesn't mean they don't like nice guys. YOUR problem is you don't understand the concept of a nice guy.

You have fallen victim of watching bad movies and listening to your mothers. Both are horrible places to get dating advice. Being a nice guy does not mean being a door mat or a wimp. Women are NOT attracted to wimps. When you act like a wimp, you turn women OFF!!!! Stop acting like a wimp. You can be confident, and decisive and still be a nice guy. You can open doors for women (and other men, for that matter) without being a wimp.

Many "nice guys" are trying to manipulate women and women can spot it immediately. Be yourself. Act like you're with you guy friends. Be funny, tease a woman, make her laugh. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a man who makes her laugh and who takes charge. Women like strong men. If you are constantly complimenting her, it comes across as manipulative. Stop it.

Have you ever noticed that women in whom you have no interest are often attracted to you? That's because you are a nice guy, you are attractive to women when you are simply "being yourself." If you aren't attracted to a woman, you treat her differently than you treat women to whom you are attracted. When you're attracted to a woman, you aren't yourself when she's around. Instead you turn into a wimp. STOP it!!!!!

Never ask a woman for a date. Instead, invite her to join you on an adventure. Plan something fun, diving is an excellent choice, then go do it and have a blast regardless of her joining you. Your enjoyment should not be dependent on her being there. Women are like men in that they like to have fun. If you are having fun, women will want to be with you. If you're not having fun, they'll want to be elsewhere.

Russian, Belorussian, and Ukrainian women are beautiful, they are wonderful ladies, but they live in countries with horrible economies. They are desperate to come to the US, Canada or western Europe. They will profess undying love just to escape the conditions under which they live. They will marry you, have children with you and in the process might even fall in love with you, but not if you continue to be a wimp. If you remain a wimp with women, they'll leave you as soon as they can do so and legally stay in the west. Others from the former USSR will try to trick you into sending them money.

Clean up your act and you won't need to look to the former Soviet Union for women.

Walter hit the head on the nail with this statement. Out of two 'relationships' that I've had, my last one was this relationship. We were totally comfortable around each other and had fun, exactly as Walter described it and everything was great. She was my best friend, we were talking about marriage and this was and still continues to be the woman that I am in love with. What changed everything was when I confided in her and showed her my vulnerable side. Our relationship ended abruptly after that and we are barely friends. It totally blew me away how things changed overnight. Complete 180.

[scubachick84]

To add a different twist to this thread.

I live alone, own my house, dive, hike, bike, own a pet (or does she own me???)have a job and earn my own money.

I have been told that I am not needy enough to be considered as a potential date.
That I don't need a man in my life, since I am able to take care of things on my own.

I guess I will have to stop ~
doing all those things I love
using the intelligence I have aquired over 40 years of living
just to make myself needy enough to have a man ask me out.

On the other hand ~ I am enjoying my life.
I would love to have a man to share it with but if I have to stop being ME I would rather be alone.

I have no time for the "bad boys" or the "wimps".
Men who like themselves and are able to consider my input while also adding their own thoughts and ideas, are the ones who catch my interest.

I have no desire to run anyones life but my own.
If I wanted to have someone who needed full time care I would have another child.

Could have written the same myself!!!!!! I find that a lot of men are intimidated by me. I work hard, am well-educated and don't care much what your level of education is as long as you are smart (different from being educated), funny and don't want either of us to have to be in charge all the time. I don't NEED a man to take care of me, maybe that's what scares them off? The other thing is that I have decided I DON'T want children.......suddenly all the 40 somethings I meet want them!

[Topless]

Could have written the same myself!!!!!! I find that a lot of men are intimidated by me. I work hard, am well-educated and don't care much what your level of education is as long as you are smart (different from being educated), funny and don't want either of us to have to be in charge all the time. I don't NEED a man to take care of me, maybe that's what scares them off? The other thing is that I have decided I DON'T want children.......suddenly all the 40 somethings I meet want them!

Not all of us are scared of women like you two.

I'm intelligent, independent, don't want kids, and am very laid-back. My problem is finding women who are like me -- or the two of you. Do y'all have any sisters?

[Cold_H2O]

Not all of us are scared of women like you two.

I'm intelligent, independent, don't want kids, and am very laid-back. My problem is finding women who are like me -- or the two of you. Do y'all have any sisters?

I knew there were a few men out there who weren't scared.

I have 2 sisters but they are not like me. I am the feisty one out of the three.

[scubachick84]

I'm the single one in the family - sandwiched in between 2 great sisters who are stay at home Moms....I think gis_gil and i sound a lot alike!

I used to have fish - but they were too big of a commitment. I like being able to come and go as I want.....I think maybe at this point, I treat everyone the same. I sort of forget about the whole trying to meet someone thing and just try to have interesting conversations....problem is, I am not sure that anyone gets that I might be really interested in them....

[MagDiver]

With all of what's been said, I think it's more accurate to say that for lifetime relationships both men and women are looking for someone who is genuine and sincere. It's not so much the bad boy vs nice guy thing really. There are plenty of nice guys who misrepresent themselves without being evil and sinister, solely for the purpose of gaining love. Bad boys do the same thing...they hide behind that bad boy persona for a variety of reasons. I want the genuine and sincere man in between the nice guy and the bad boy. I know he's out there....somewhere.

Thank you Annasea.

I had a roommate who was a "bad boy". He could have slept with a different woman every night. He was physically direct and came on strong, but in the morning he didn't know how to talk to the women, but that's okay because there were plenty more right behind the last one.

I'm always told I'm a nice guy, but I'm too shy to get physical with a woman early on...And conversation doesn't come naturally to me, especially if I'm interested. I think the women read this as disinterest and move on quickly. The reality was that neither my roommate or I knew really knew to communicate with women.

It seems men and women want to fall in love and marry that bad boy or girl and have that same sexual excitement every night of the rest of their lives... Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Just ask any of my married friends after a few beers.

Do women want a nice guy? I'm pretty sure they don't Or perhaps I'm not the nice guy everybody says I am!

Cheers!
-Mark

[Topless]

I used to have fish - but they were too big of a commitment. I like being able to come and go as I want.....I think maybe at this point, I treat everyone the same. I sort of forget about the whole trying to meet someone thing and just try to have interesting conversations....problem is, I am not sure that anyone gets that I might be really interested in them....

Where's that thread about knowing if someone is interested in you.........

Enjoy your life, and when you find a guy you're interested in, buy a 2x4.