161 replies to this topic

[Topless]

I knew there were a few men out there who weren't scared.

I have 2 sisters but they are not like me. I am the feisty one out of the three.

Yeah, but I might be able to get a word in occasionally with them.............

[Cold_H2O]

Yeah, but I might be able to get a word in occasionally with them.............

You would have a better chance getting a word in with me.

Older sister has been married for over 20 years.. She likes being the boss.
Younger sister is single {again} but she is a singer/musician... Enjoys being center stage.

I just like to go diving, mt biking, skiing....
Than again... friends do tell me that I talk alot...

[jeff]

I am a true nice guy, hence my screen name. I can even provide references if needed; personal professional and governmental (she's gone too).

I recently met a great girl and she told her friend that I am too nice. She is not used to someone willing to give her time and attention and everything else. When you date a person you are dating every other person that they have dated in the past, good and bad. This girl has been let down too many times that its hard for girls like this to believe nice guys are real and will follow through on their word.

As the wise words of walter have shown I have been talking with a local girl (who is pineing for someone else) and we have been out as friends a couple of times as friends. Being myself has really turned her on and made her feel happy. So it is true that forgetting your guard around that special girl can get her attracted to you.

Guys need to stop playing games; and girls need to stop waiting for fairy tales and guys being perfect every second.

sorry for the disjointed thoughts and rambling but by hearts alittle disjointed right now.

Edited by jeff, 03 September 2007 - 11:15 PM.

[JohnEric]

Well it is much more fun to be a "bad boy" hehehehehehehehhe

I think I can be BOTH at the same time! That is the key to be able to merge the two concepts and balance them!

[jholley309]

And now for something completely different...(apologies to Mr. Cleese)

It has been a while since I started this thread (almost a year), and it somehow keeps growing. Just thought I'd toss an update in here as food for thought...

Early on, I think I mentioned starting a relationship with a woman overseas. As of this summer, the two of us are engaged to be married. It was not a decision either of us takes lightly, but it's not one that we had to do much soul searching over, either. It was just...right.

There have been quite a few posts about communicating with your partner (or potential partners), and once more I will state that communications are the key to a successful relationship. It matters not whether it is a long-distance relationship or the person next door. What matters is that you are both honest with each other about who you really are and what you really want out of life. That of course implies that you both know who you really are and what you want out of life...

From my perspective, I proposed to the future Mrs. Holley because I had confidence that we were both searching for the same thing in a relationship, and that we had established a deep and powerful connection to each other despite the difficulties of being seperated by nearly 5,000 miles. For her part, she thinks of me as a nice guy; she even says I have kind eyes. Now, did she come to that conclusion because I am timid or retiring in any way? Nope. Quite the opposite: it was my forthright and direct approach to communication that struck her as noteworthy, after more that one man in her life turned out to be something different from what he represented himself as. We've shared things with each other that no one else knows, and that we keep close to the chest for a reason. We have always been direct with each other about our ultimate goal for this relationship, and we have talked in-depth about awkward topics like child-rearing philosophy, what we expect from a mate, and other emotionally loaded subjects that most people (including us) find difficult to discuss. We did it despite the awkwardness, because we knew that it had to be talked about sooner or later, and it was better to know where the other stood on certain things before getting too emotionally invested.

Now, speaking of communicating, my lovely and talented fiance is getting ready to Skype me (oh, my...) so I have to go.

Cheers!

Jim

[Topless]

Congrats Jim!

Does she have a sister?

[TraceMalin]

There have been quite a few posts about communicating with your partner (or potential partners), and once more I will state that communications are the key to a successful relationship. It matters not whether it is a long-distance relationship or the person next door. What matters is that you are both honest with each other about who you really are and what you really want out of life. That of course implies that you both know who you really are and what you want out of life...

A direct approach to dating...

"Hi! I must admit that I found myself glancing in your direction more than a few times because you have a brilliant smile and I love your hair. Now, that I've found the courage to come over here and speak to you, I'm equally taken by the color of your eyes. In fact, I'm so attracted to you that the only reason I'm not muttering like some sweaty toothed madman, or passing out right now, is because I've had some really amazing teachers, coaches and clergy who taught me to face life head on and, well... to be honest... I'm more terrified right now trying to ask you out that any other moment in my life when facing unimaginable dangers... only because I am hoping you turn out to be the most significant person in my life because I could spend every day for the rest of my life falling in love with the beauty etched upon your face and I don't want to blow anything with a dumb line. If I could say or do anything right now that would make you see that all I want in this world is to find a great wife and do our best to care for one another emotionally and physically and have kids that we would strive to raise to be strong and moral and somehow make this world a better place, I would do it. I want to make you laugh, hold you when you cry, give you space to be yourself and space so that you can realize your personal dreams, yet learn when you need to share and when you need to feel like you belong to someone. It's a balance that will take some time to perfect, but if we care enough to try we can make one another more complete and encourage one another to continue to live, grow and learn. I'd like to get to know you, give you the security to know I'm sincere and willing to take things slowly... in fact... I'm willing to walk you to your door and kiss you goodnight without trying to seduce you and... holy crap... you really are having an affect on me because I'd be willing to go to church too! Um... yeah... I realize that I'm now stammering and rambling, but could I buy you a cup of coffee and let you do some talking yourself?"

A more effective approach...

Due to the poor self-esteem many women develop thanks to Barbie, YM and ads in Cosmo, all you have to do is be a jerk. They'll wonder what is wrong with them and wonder why they can't measure up to the standards of a loser like you despite aerobics, a healthy diet, a graduate degree and the fact that they are kind to animals and senior citizens. They'll spend years trying to win the approval of a jerk. Especially if that jerk has been to prison; because he's a macho & sexy bad boy... hmmm... I don't think he told her everything about prison, especially the part about being someone's beatch?

I once won the attention of a very stunning blonde far beyond my league. I followed my dad's advice. I ignored her. It worked.

Now, I just mostly ignore women because... well... I'm a jerk anymore and I really don't care. When I do care, they don't believe me.

[georoc01]

I find in the dating scene there is definitely a self destructive attitude about others, that is reminiscent of Seinfeld. Namely when you meet someone, they are wondering, what is wrong with them? Why has no one else married them?

I have been asked asked that by two of my most recent lady friends in the last couple of weeks, what is its about me that no woman has wanted to marry me, and I don't have an answer for that. Then I thought back to my last relationship where we had similar conversations in that I thought she was perfect, I couldnt' come up with one about her.

So I am as bad as they are about me. Rather than looking at us for the strengths we add, its more about what are the deficits that the person brings in.

[DiverBabs]

I find in the dating scene there is definitely a self destructive attitude about others, that is reminiscent of Seinfeld. Namely when you meet someone, they are wondering, what is wrong with them? Why has no one else married them?

Must be my "man hands"! lol

[DiverBabs]

I once won the attention of a very stunning blonde far beyond my league. I followed my dad's advice. I ignored her. It worked.

Now, I just mostly ignore women because... well... I'm a jerk anymore and I really don't care. When I do care, they don't believe me.

Hmmm, I'm just wondering if because this woman was a "stunning blonde"... is that why you considered her "far beyond your league"? Please tell me there was something beyond that or I'm completely hosed! LOL

Also, if it worked... it obviously didn't work out well or you wouldn't be talking about her in the past tense. Must have been something beyond the look of a blonde bombshell that blew it for you (or her)???

[TraceMalin]

I once won the attention of a very stunning blonde far beyond my league. I followed my dad's advice. I ignored her. It worked.

Now, I just mostly ignore women because... well... I'm a jerk anymore and I really don't care. When I do care, they don't believe me.

Hmmm, I'm just wondering if because this woman was a "stunning blonde"... is that why you considered her "far beyond your league"? Please tell me there was something beyond that or I'm completely hosed! LOL

Also, if it worked... it obviously didn't work out well or you wouldn't be talking about her in the past tense. Must have been something beyond the look of a blonde bombshell that blew it for you (or her)???

In nature, animals, including human beings, are sexually attracted to one another for reasons such as symmetry, scent, etc. Studies of various animal species have found that those with the best symmetry such as feathers and spots attract more potential mates. Human beings are generally attracted to features in which ratios and proportions subconsciously appeal to what we perceive as attractive. Of course, those with more appealing mathematical ratios and proportions have a greater opportunity to attract others with like mathematical advantages. Ratio and proportion also applies to classical art and architecture and we find sculpture and buildings to be "beautiful" due to such appeal. In this woman's case her math scores were much higher than mine. I met her on a dive trip when I was 26, but while physically desirable, geographically it was pointless at the time.

In fact, I came across a profile on SD in which I think the woman is stellar due to both her beauty (I like her geometry) and profile, but there's really no reason to even say hello due to geography and the fact that she wouldn't think I was sincere anyway.

[DiverBabs]

I once won the attention of a very stunning blonde far beyond my league. I followed my dad's advice. I ignored her. It worked.

Now, I just mostly ignore women because... well... I'm a jerk anymore and I really don't care. When I do care, they don't believe me.

Hmmm, I'm just wondering if because this woman was a "stunning blonde"... is that why you considered her "far beyond your league"? Please tell me there was something beyond that or I'm completely hosed! LOL

Also, if it worked... it obviously didn't work out well or you wouldn't be talking about her in the past tense. Must have been something beyond the look of a blonde bombshell that blew it for you (or her)???

In nature, animals, including human beings, are sexually attracted to one another for reasons such as symmetry, scent, etc. Studies of various animal species have found that those with the best symmetry such as feathers and spots attract more potential mates. Human beings are generally attracted to features in which ratios and proportions subconsciously appeal to what we perceive as attractive. Of course, those with more appealing mathematical ratios and proportions have a greater opportunity to attract others with like mathematical advantages. Ratio and proportion also applies to classical art and architecture and we find sculpture and buildings to be "beautiful" due to such appeal. In this woman's case her math scores were much higher than mine. I met her on a dive trip when I was 26, but while physically desirable, geographically it was pointless at the time.

In fact, I came across a profile on SD in which I think the woman is stellar due to both her beauty (I like her geometry) and profile, but there's really no reason to even say hello due to geography and the fact that she wouldn't think I was sincere anyway.

Geography... I understand.... not thinking you were sincere... well, now you're just assuming. I'd say you should go for it unless geography is a deal breaker.

[scubagoddess]

I once won the attention of a very stunning blonde far beyond my league. I followed my dad's advice. I ignored her. It worked.

Now, I just mostly ignore women because... well... I'm a jerk anymore and I really don't care. When I do care, they don't believe me.

Hmmm, I'm just wondering if because this woman was a "stunning blonde"... is that why you considered her "far beyond your league"? Please tell me there was something beyond that or I'm completely hosed! LOL

Also, if it worked... it obviously didn't work out well or you wouldn't be talking about her in the past tense. Must have been something beyond the look of a blonde bombshell that blew it for you (or her)???

In nature, animals, including human beings, are sexually attracted to one another for reasons such as symmetry, scent, etc. Studies of various animal species have found that those with the best symmetry such as feathers and spots attract more potential mates. Human beings are generally attracted to features in which ratios and proportions subconsciously appeal to what we perceive as attractive. Of course, those with more appealing mathematical ratios and proportions have a greater opportunity to attract others with like mathematical advantages. Ratio and proportion also applies to classical art and architecture and we find sculpture and buildings to be "beautiful" due to such appeal. In this woman's case her math scores were much higher than mine. I met her on a dive trip when I was 26, but while physically desirable, geographically it was pointless at the time.

In fact, I came across a profile on SD in which I think the woman is stellar due to both her beauty (I like her geometry) and profile, but there's really no reason to even say hello due to geography and the fact that she wouldn't think I was sincere anyway.

Geography... I understand.... not thinking you were sincere... well, now you're just assuming. I'd say you should go for it unless geography is a deal breaker.

You are assuming about the geography too! Dangerous habit that "assuming"! You might miss out on something great. Check out Long Distance Relationships, how far is too far? It appears that most people didn't seem to make distance one of their first considerations. There is also a lot of discussion there about communication that would help with the sincerity issue. Best wishes!

Edited by scubagoddess, 11 September 2007 - 05:32 PM.

[scubachick84]

I agree with George - I HATE it when someone asks me how come I've never been married! (like I'm missing out on something or my life is not complete without a mate!, do not assume that your opinion is of any consequence to me in this situation).....anyway, I came across this response (and unfortunately I cannot credit the originator, because it was on a refrigerator magnet) ....."I'm single because I was born that way." Kinda stops people in their tracks and might make them realize they've asked a stupid and rhetorical question. On the other hand, I think many of us would be WAY less offended if the inquiring mind stated "I can't believe that such a <insert complimetary adjective> person as yourself is spoken for already, unless of course, that's your choice." Sometimes it's all in the delivery.

As to being GU (geographically undesirable), I think this can be a realistic rule-out criteria if you are into on-line dating, but as for the real life interactions, I'm more concerned with the specialness of the people I meet than in what zip code they're from.....


Paula