79 replies to this topic

[ScubaDadMiami]

Men are always wondering what women mean unless the woman points it out so specifically that there can be no misinterpretation. The appropriate response to his "What are you doing this weekend?" question would have been something like: "Oh, if this is leading up to you asking me out for a date this weekend, that would be great." Only then will the man understand that you are in fact interested.

Saying you are old fashion and the like is a cop out to avoid asking a man out because you are afraid of rejection. If you are interested, ask him out. It's not so easy when the shoe is on the other foot; is it? So, put yourself in the man's position, and at least make it so that there can be no misinterpretation of your interest if you are not going to go for it yourself. At least that way, you might get asked out.

[Racer184]

Saying you are old fashion and the like is a cop out to avoid asking a man out because you are afraid of rejection. If you are interested, ask him out. It's not so easy when the shoe is on the other foot; is it?

Scubadadmiami said it better.

[Dennis]

Some women have no trouble saying what they truly mean. Donna picked me up at a dorm party at UF. We've been together ever since. Next Saturday is our 28th anniversary, but we have been together since Fall of 1977. And, it took me about 15 of those years to train her that sometimes you don't have to say what you are thinking.

Edited by Dennis, 11 June 2007 - 06:45 AM.

[Basslet]

"Oh, if this is leading up to you asking me out for a date this weekend, that would be great." Only then will the man understand that you are in fact interested.

Sorry, but this is soooo not me. I would never, ever say anything like that.

Saying you are old fashion and the like is a cop out to avoid asking a man out because you are afraid of rejection. If you are interested, ask him out. It's not so easy when the shoe is on the other foot; is it? So, put yourself in the man's position, and at least make it so that there can be no misinterpretation of your interest if you are not going to go for it yourself. At least that way, you might get asked out.

Again, I must disagree here. Are you saying that "I'm busy until 4 but I'm free after that" is open to misinterpretation? Not only that, there is body language involved. Honestly, I think Jim hit the nail on the head.

I personally don't think you should have been expected to ask him out, especially since he started it. My take? If he can't finish that simple thought, run away. Far, far away. And fast.

Cheers!

Jim

[pir8]

Problems being with todays world of political correctness. Sometimes ya don't want to say boo to some women. I just had to go through our annual Sexual Harrassment Training at work and what I got out of it is just don't say anything if ya wanna keep your job.

[Squishy Monkey]

This may be way out there, but it could be that he was doing something really cool over the weekend and wanted to tell you about it. Kind of a way of saying "Hey look how cool and exciting I am that I do things like this." He asked you what you had planned for the weekend as a way to lead into him telling you what he had planned. When you added the line "...after that I am free." It threw him off his game. You showed that you expected him to ask you out, but he couldn't ask you out because he already had something going on. Then again, maybe not.

Sometimes boys are just plain stupid. I have been in a situation where I am outside taking a break from work. An attractive young lady from the building starts up a conversation and eventually asks me "You have anything exciting planned for this weekend?" I answer, "Nope. I will probably just do a little reading and watch a movie or something." She comes back with "Me either. I will probably just sit around on the couch watching TV." I say "Cool". Then there is uncomfortable silence until she walks away. That's when I get smacked on the back of the head by my buddy who was standing there with me because I didn't ask her out. That's happened on two separate occasions with two different women. Maybe some rocks to the noggin would do me some good.

[PerroneFord]

I had a conversation about this last week. While I have a policy on NOT complementing women at work, I made a comment about a co-workers beautiful dress last week. Nothing untoward, just told her that I thought her dress was absolutely gorgeous (and it was). She seemed appreciative and said she had gotten three other compliments that day on her dress. An hour later, I sent her an email apologizing and hoping I hadn't caused any distress by my comments and didn't mean anything by them. She dismissed me as being silly.

But to be honest, many guys are just afraid to even comment. I rarely say anything any more in this vein to any woman I work with or have association with. This is the world that we've created.

-P

Problems being with todays world of political correctness. Sometimes ya don't want to say boo to some women. I just had to go through our annual Sexual Harrassment Training at work and what I got out of it is just don't say anything if ya wanna keep your job.

[Basslet]

This may be way out there, but it could be that he was doing something really cool over the weekend and wanted to tell you about it. Kind of a way of saying "Hey look how cool and exciting I am that I do things like this." He asked you what you had planned for the weekend as a way to lead into him telling you what he had planned. When you added the line "...after that I am free." It threw him off his game. You showed that you expected him to ask you out, but he couldn't ask you out because he already had something going on. Then again, maybe not.

Well, to be honest, I already knew what he had planned for Sunday. He was driving to the shore in his classic yellow VW convertible. I would have felt really stupid if I had asked him what he was doing, since I kind of half knew already. He would have thought "Doesn't she listen when I talk?"

Sometimes boys are just plain stupid. I have been in a situation where I am outside taking a break from work. An attractive young lady from the building starts up a conversation and eventually asks me "You have anything exciting planned for this weekend?" I answer, "Nope. I will probably just do a little reading and watch a movie or something." She comes back with "Me either. I will probably just sit around on the couch watching TV." I say "Cool". Then there is uncomfortable silence until she walks away. That's when I get smacked on the back of the head by my buddy who was standing there with me because I didn't ask her out. That's happened on two separate occasions with two different women. Maybe some rocks to the noggin would do me some good.

Where is that throwing rocks smilie??? I'll throw some at you. Next time, think of me and ask that woman out. She wants you to!!!

[Walter]

Unless you are 600 pounds, ugly and smell bad, real men are always scared to ask you for a date.

The only men that are not scared when asking a woman for a date are major jerks because they have no feelings.

You are only afraid if you have too much invested. If you are asking a woman out for the first time, there's no reason for you to be afraid. There are two possibilities, she'll either accept (or decline, but suggest another time) or she'll decline. If she accepts, you got what you wanted. Now is the time to get to know each other, to see if mutual feelings will develop over time. If she declines, you haven't yet developed real feelings for her, so it's merely a possibility of things to come you've lost. Never feel too strongly about possibilities until they become reality. Invest your feelings in what is real, not in your fantasy.

Sorry, but this is soooo not me. I would never, ever say anything like that.

Darlin', most guys are idiots and need a little help. Could you possibly have said, "I'm busy until 4 but I'm free after that, what do you have in mind?"

That would let him know you are interested and help him overcome his irrational fear.

[mechanical31]

Jeez nobody even considered the simple possibity that at 54 he could have advanced alzheimer's and just flat out forgot what he was going to say. Now I am going to run and hide.

[rahuck]

Jeez nobody even considered the simple possibity that at 54 he could have advanced alzheimer's and just flat out forgot what he was going to say. Now I am going to run and hide.

I had something really cool to add to this but I forgot what it was..........

[JohnEric]

Unless you are 600 pounds, ugly and smell bad, real men are always scared to ask you for a date.

The only men that are not scared when asking a woman for a date are major jerks because they have no feelings.

You are only afraid if you have too much invested. If you are asking a woman out for the first time, there's no reason for you to be afraid. There are two possibilities, she'll either accept (or decline, but suggest another time) or she'll decline. If she accepts, you got what you wanted. Now is the time to get to know each other, to see if mutual feelings will develop over time. If she declines, you haven't yet developed real feelings for her, so it's merely a possibility of things to come you've lost. Never feel too strongly about possibilities until they become reality. Invest your feelings in what is real, not in your fantasy.

Sorry, but this is soooo not me. I would never, ever say anything like that.

Darlin', most guys are idiots and need a little help. Could you possibly have said, "I'm busy until 4 but I'm free after that, what do you have in mind?"

That would let him know you are interested and help him overcome his irrational fear.

OH SO NOT TRUE! I bought into the whats the worst she can do? Say No theory of asking women out. I found out the hard way that isnt true there IS alot worse she can do! She can run around pretending to puke! THATS what she can do! Tis a true story!

[Basslet]

OH SO NOT TRUE! I bought into the whats the worst she can do? Say No theory of asking women out. I found out the hard way that isnt true there IS alot worse she can do! She can run around pretending to puke! THATS what she can do! Tis a true story!

That is sooo mean. Were you in high school when that happened?

BTW, I told one of the recruiters at the gym what happened on Friday (he knows the whole story from the beginning) and his comment was "What a pussy."

Edited by Fairybasslet, 11 June 2007 - 12:36 PM.

[JohnEric]

OH SO NOT TRUE! I bought into the whats the worst she can do? Say No theory of asking women out. I found out the hard way that isnt true there IS alot worse she can do! She can run around pretending to puke! THATS what she can do! Tis a true story!

That is sooo mean. Were you in high school when that happened?

BTW, I told one of the recruiters at the gym what happened on Friday (he knows the whole story from the beginning) and his comment was "What a pussy."

Yes I was as a matter of fact, but ave had similar experences as an adult

[Racer184]

A few true responses when I have asked women for a date:

• One responded "Sure, if you bring your girlfriend with us"
• One woman responded with "you got to let me bring my girlfriend along, I am sure the 3 of us would have a great time later"
• One responded with very loud laughing
• One responded by pointing her finger in her mouth and making gagging noises.
• One bch said "I have to wash my hair Friday night, maybe next week". I asked her out every week for 1 year. She never had the courtesy to say no.
• One went to the trouble to come by my place at 5:30 to tell me she would be "1/2 hour late" for our 7:30 date (in college when many of us could not afford telephones). She NEVER showed up and from then on when she saw me on campus she would turn and scurry away (scurry like a rat).
• I went to pick up another precisely at 8pm. She opened the door holding her shirt closed with one hand, a guy sitting on the couch, and she said "oh, I forgot"
• I had a date to meet one lady at Ruby Tuesday. I waited at the bar. She showed up with a friend. We all talked for a while, then my date took off and left me with the stranger. (Eventually the 'stranger' and I ended up living together for 8 years.)
• I went to pick up one girl at her trailer for a date on my birthday. Her roommate answered the door and said "she moved out last week, I have no idea where she went".
• Many have just stood there... perfectly still... stared and not said a single word.... then I walked away
• Two have refused to date me because I drive a truck. Apparently they pick men by the kind of vehicle they drive.
• one replied "you could never afford me"
• One was upset that I would ask her out after dumping her roomate. She kept calling me "Steve" and said her roomate told her what an ahole "Steve" is. I told her that's not my name and she got really loud.

Edited by Racer184, 11 June 2007 - 01:07 PM.