266 replies to this topic

[robcgould]

quote]
True. I don't want to paint all ladies with the same brush. There are jerks on both sides of the gender fence and as always a few always ruin it for the majority. Straight forward communication is the way to go. "Oh that's very nice, but I am seeing someone" is the usual stand-by line if they are not interested and that is fine. Saves a lot of disappointment.

Here here, Why is it that we can not simply come out and say "I find you (physically, mentally and/or whateverly) attractive and would like to get to know you better" I wish I had the nerve to risk rejection like that! But it would make all this SSSOOOO much easier.
Just think of all the time lost with trying to come up with witty one liners (never been good with that stuff) or the money spent on buying uninterested parties drinks etc. or the loss of a life enriching relationship!
Can this not be easier???? But then anything worth having is worth the investment right?
Just the ramblings of an interested and potentially interesting party
Robert
"Did I say party? where?"

[gcbryan]

I think the answer to the original question is that it's not hard to tell if someone is REALLY interested in you. The uncertainty is between not interested or maybe a little interested. If someone is crazy about you it's obvious. Everything short of that is not however.

[ScubaSis]

This topic looks like it's been talked out, but have something to add about myself.

I work with almost ALL men. We cut up and act like brothers and sisters most of the time. That being said, I do the same thing now with most men I'm around. I for one need the 2 X 4 up side the head. I actually find it very honorable when a man can aproach me with honesty saying he would like to take me out and get to know me better. I find it a great compliment to me and I see the man with a new respect when he is secure enough in himself to aproach me this way. Unfortunately, it just doesn't happen enough!!

Good Luck to everyone!!!!

[KeithT4U]

Wow, just read this whole thread and learned almost nothing. I have a hard time with women at this point in my life. All I would like to find is a friend to spend time with, any thing else is a bonus. Unfortunately all the women that I seem to go out with want money in some form or another. (Try telling the lady you are going out with you live in a truck byt the river.) But I think that honest comunication makes up for a lot in a relationship. It is just hard to get there, on both sides of the gender coin. Both sexes have lots of chances to be hurt and these events color the future of relationships. I need the 2x4 just because I don't want to upset the lady and lose a friend. Friends are much more important than bedroom buddies. The biggest problems are getting the various trust issues solidified before any thing disasterous happens.....That and bring a club.

Keith

[Brinybay]

I have a hard time with women....
Keith

No pun intended I assume, or are you bragging?

[diverb0b]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm now what was that topic question again ?????

[ScubaStacy]

This topic looks like it's been talked out, but have something to add about myself.

I work with almost ALL men. We cut up and act like brothers and sisters most of the time. That being said, I do the same thing now with most men I'm around. I for one need the 2 X 4 up side the head. I actually find it very honorable when a man can aproach me with honesty saying he would like to take me out and get to know me better. I find it a great compliment to me and I see the man with a new respect when he is secure enough in himself to aproach me this way. Unfortunately, it just doesn't happen enough!!

Good Luck to everyone!!!!

ScubaSis - I know exactly what you mean! I'm working with and instructing a bunch of cops, firefighters or military guys a lot of the time. Over the years I’ve learned to be ‘one of the guys’ and now it’s just SOP.

I need the 2x4 f upside the head or sure...

Stacy

[ScubaSis]

This topic looks like it's been talked out, but have something to add about myself.

I work with almost ALL men. We cut up and act like brothers and sisters most of the time. That being said, I do the same thing now with most men I'm around. I for one need the 2 X 4 up side the head. I actually find it very honorable when a man can aproach me with honesty saying he would like to take me out and get to know me better. I find it a great compliment to me and I see the man with a new respect when he is secure enough in himself to aproach me this way. Unfortunately, it just doesn't happen enough!!

Good Luck to everyone!!!!

ScubaSis - I know exactly what you mean! I'm working with and instructing a bunch of cops, firefighters or military guys a lot of the time. Over the years I’ve learned to be ‘one of the guys’ and now it’s just SOP.

I need the 2x4 f upside the head or sure...

Stacy

Well, if we get to go diving together sometime, we will have to work together to fix the broken radars!!!

[KeithT4U]

I guess what we learn is that every one is different, and just be yourself. What will happen will happen and go with that. Stop crying over spilled milk and all. If there were an easy answer we would all be happily married and there would be no need to discuss any thing like this.

Keith

[justscuba]

This topic looks like it's been talked out, but have something to add about myself.

I work with almost ALL men. We cut up and act like brothers and sisters most of the time. That being said, I do the same thing now with most men I'm around. I for one need the 2 X 4 up side the head. I actually find it very honorable when a man can aproach me with honesty saying he would like to take me out and get to know me better. I find it a great compliment to me and I see the man with a new respect when he is secure enough in himself to aproach me this way. Unfortunately, it just doesn't happen enough!!

Good Luck to everyone!!!!

ScubaSis - I know exactly what you mean! I'm working with and instructing a bunch of cops, firefighters or military guys a lot of the time. Over the years I’ve learned to be ‘one of the guys’ and now it’s just SOP.

I need the 2x4 f upside the head or sure...

Stacy

Well, if we get to go diving together sometime, we will have to work together to fix the broken radars!!!

I can help your radars. I want to dive with you two.....Please see I can just come out and ask.

[SeaSeeker]

.... Why is it that we can not simply come out and say "I find you (physically, mentally and/or whateverly) attractive and would like to get to know you better" I wish I had the nerve to risk rejection like that! But it would make all this SSSOOOO much easier.

Robert - live fearlessly.
I am so bored of the crazy game playing and mixed signal sending, and I bet I'm not the only woman out there that is.
I would be thrilled if men would be more straightforward as you suggest.
I have made a decision to do just that - stop with the signal sending and just speak the plain truth. So far, I'm finding it to be much better.

I have to confess that, the last time a man expressed interest, he just kissed me. It was a pleasant surprise, and a signal not to be misunderstood. So, that one works, I guess.

Tammie

[Dichotomy]

Wow! This thread has traversed a LOT of terrain in its wanderings! And, like most trails that one will follow, the most interesting things are discovered during the journey. We often lose sight of that because we are so focused on the destination (e.g. a marriage, a family, sex or whatever) that much of what is truly important, or relevant, is missed or ignored. The original question was about how we know when someone is interested ? That question produced a wide variety of answers and tangents for which there seemed to be a couple of common themes: HONESTY, or a 2x4 upside the head . Either option can leave one dazed ... or seriously hurt ... or without question about how someone feels (e.g. , , , , etc.). Based on the thread, honesty (with one's self or another) is apparently less desireable to use than a 2x4 (i.e see the number of people requesting it be used as a sign of "interest" - but that is another topic and thread in and of itself ). However, and this is VERY important, the use of honesty is far less likely to get one thrown in jail than the use of a 2x4. AND [in most cases] is sufficient, and much more likely, to produce the desired results. That being said, I'd like to think that I wouldn't need a 2x4 upside my head in order for a woman to get her point across, so if being honest and direct are not an option I'd find it helpful - and extremely clarifying - if she simply threw herself on me.

~J

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So what type of indication do you have to have to know if someone is interested in you?

Me? A 2x4 up side you head followed by "hey I like you, your cute" I know it seems a little hard headed of me, but thats the way I am. I flirt with gals but its all in fun, just trying to do my part and put a smile on someones face. So flirting to me is just a past time, each one putting a smile on each others face and seeing if you can make them blush. So when some gal flirts with me I think she is just being friendly. I really don't know if she is interested in me or just trying to make me smile.

So what do other people need to see or hear before there off the the chase.

[ScubaStacy]

This topic looks like it's been talked out, but have something to add about myself.

I work with almost ALL men. We cut up and act like brothers and sisters most of the time. That being said, I do the same thing now with most men I'm around. I for one need the 2 X 4 up side the head. I actually find it very honorable when a man can aproach me with honesty saying he would like to take me out and get to know me better. I find it a great compliment to me and I see the man with a new respect when he is secure enough in himself to aproach me this way. Unfortunately, it just doesn't happen enough!!

Good Luck to everyone!!!!

ScubaSis - I know exactly what you mean! I'm working with and instructing a bunch of cops, firefighters or military guys a lot of the time. Over the years I’ve learned to be ‘one of the guys’ and now it’s just SOP.

I need the 2x4 f upside the head or sure...

Stacy

Well, if we get to go diving together sometime, we will have to work together to fix the broken radars!!!

I can help your radars. I want to dive with you two.....Please see I can just come out and ask.

ScubaSis and JustScuba - it's on! The three of us diving together soon!

[Sassi]

This topic looks like it's been talked out, but have something to add about myself.

I work with almost ALL men. We cut up and act like brothers and sisters most of the time. That being said, I do the same thing now with most men I'm around. I for one need the 2 X 4 up side the head. I actually find it very honorable when a man can aproach me with honesty saying he would like to take me out and get to know me better. I find it a great compliment to me and I see the man with a new respect when he is secure enough in himself to aproach me this way. Unfortunately, it just doesn't happen enough!!

Good Luck to everyone!!!!

This topic looks like it's been talked out, but have something to add about myself.

I work with almost ALL men. We cut up and act like brothers and sisters most of the time. That being said, I do the same thing now with most men I'm around. I for one need the 2 X 4 up side the head. I actually find it very honorable when a man can aproach me with honesty saying he would like to take me out and get to know me better. I find it a great compliment to me and I see the man with a new respect when he is secure enough in himself to aproach me this way. Unfortunately, it just doesn't happen enough!!

Good Luck to everyone!!!!

ScubaSis - I know exactly what you mean! I'm working with and instructing a bunch of cops, firefighters or military guys a lot of the time. Over the years I’ve learned to be ‘one of the guys’ and now it’s just SOP.

I need the 2x4 f upside the head or sure...

Stacy

Wow! I must need that 2x4 too; The majority of my friends have to tell me when someone is interested in me and my usual response is "no they aren't" - I think I did get a slap on the back of the head once - not sure it helped.

[Brinybay]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So what type of indication do you have to have to know if someone is interested in you?

Me? A 2x4 up side you head ... I really don't know if she is interested in me or just trying to make me smile.

A tongue in my ear will do very nicely.