101 replies to this topic

[wrinkles]

I personally would like it if the guy I was with defended me in a situation like some mentioned before. I don't mean a physical defense but a witty remark back to the guy would be nice. It shows quick thinking, good verbal skills, and a respect for me for shown by defending me.

I was in a situation once where a guy made a remark about my diving capabilities. I let the remark slide because I am not one for confrontation or a need of validation from others. My buddy, a friend, made a comment back to the guy that made him realize the remark was rude and undeserved. He apologized and explained what he had meant to say. If it were not for my buddy the remark would have not been explained and corrected.

Ana

[Diverbrian]

I personally would like it if the guy I was with defended me in a situation like some mentioned before. I don't mean a physical defense but a witty remark back to the guy would be nice. It shows quick thinking, good verbal skills, and a respect for me for shown by defending me.

I was in a situation once where a guy made a remark about my diving capabilities. I let the remark slide because I am not one for confrontation or a need of validation from others. My buddy, a friend, made a comment back to the guy that made him realize the remark was rude and undeserved. He apologized and explained what he had meant to say. If it were not for my buddy the remark would have not been explained and corrected.

Ana

Ana,

To sum up my way of judgement; IF she doesn't choose to do something, I most likely would and it would be as you describe. Nobody is worth going to jail on an assault charge over words said in a bar. (After all, the bail money would have been better spent on breathing gas to submerge and chill out ).

If she chose to do something, all that I would be is "back-up and support".

One of us would put the idiot in his place! I guarantee that.

[Coo's Toe]

I'm a lover, not a fighter... But if my lady doesn't jump right in to defend herself, then I will say something.

I know this is the modern age, Brian, but I think a lot of women out there still like to see doors opened for them, have their tanks carried ( right Ana? ) and see their man stand up for them if insults or rudeness is directed their way. I would probably have a sense of what type of woman she is before we walk into the bar together, so I'll realize it if I need to stand silently by while she defends herself.

I'd rather get chewed out later for saying something in her defense than getting chewed out for saying nothing...

[Diverbrian]

I'm a lover, not a fighter... But if my lady doesn't jump right in to defend herself, then I will say something.

I know this is the modern age, Brian, but I think a lot of women out there still like to see doors opened for them, have their tanks carried ( right Ana? ) and see their man stand up for them if insults or rudeness is directed their way. I would probably have a sense of what type of woman she is before we walk into the bar together, so I'll realize it if I need to stand silently by while she defends herself.

I'd rather get chewed out later for saying something in her defense than getting chewed out for saying nothing...

Speaking up in the event of rude remarks is a different matter than carrying tanks and holding open doors (which I do with regularity).

The fact of the matter is that the lady in question need not be my date or known to me for me show those courtesies. I have a little of that "old-fashioned gentleman" mentality in me that covers those situations.

But, the other is a judgement call. I simply find that many grown, single women see it as condenscending for the guy to try to be a hero. As I said, if it is nothing more than a comment of something to effect of ":ahem: EXCUSE ME!", (Walking out is last resort, but as I have enough experience in bars to know that most drunken idiots are not rational and having either me or my date go to the house where you can't unlock your room isn't high on my list of things to do.) something will be said.

[mischievous]

actually i rather like it when guys defend me. i like coo's response, "I'd rather get chewed out later for saying something in her defense than getting chewed out for saying nothing... "

i was visiting this guy that i liked at the [ahem] strip club he worked at when this d***head walked out of the bathroom and grabbed my a**. (mind you...this is before i started krav and became much more confrontational. ) i whipped around, grabbed his collar bone and screamed, "you do not treat ladies in that manner. do you understand me." before i could grab and twist his package which is something i've always wanted to do but never had the guts to, the unnamed gentlemen that i was there to see grabbed him and threw him out of the club. then he had a bouncer walk in front of me while he guarded from behind. i was just waiting for someone to fall into that trap.

too bad he had to ruin it. he said, "see. i can protect you." yuk!

p.s. i have a slight problem with my temper. just tell me "down girl" and i'll behave.

[WreckWench]

p.s. i have a slight problem with my temper.  just tell me "down girl" and i'll behave.

Ah grasshopper....martial arts will be good for that too!!!

P.S. remind me to go partying in Dallas with YOU.... I feel safer already!!!

[mischievous]

ww...i was going to say the same about you! i've heard you can take down huge mountain men with a single blow.

[Walter]

i've heard you can take down huge mountain men with a single blow.

Darlin',

I believe that was Marvel (different pretty blonde), not WW.

Walter

[divegirlzoe]

Tell him they are bigger than his!

I wish someone would say that to me! I think guys don't say those kinda things to us yankee women! WE are too mean!

[No Pressure]

  WW, i've heard you can take down huge mountain men with a single blow.

resisting.....the....temptation.....to....respond.....

[WreckWench]

ww...i was going to say the same about you! i've heard you can take down huge mountain men with a single blow.

Now where did you hear that? Must of been that one guy from my Judo class that kinda talks funny these days....was that the one????

[Diverbrian]

ww...i was going to say the same about you!  i've heard you can take down huge mountain men with a single blow. 

Now where did you hear that? Must of been that one guy from my Judo class that kinda talks funny these days....was that the one????

Judo! In order to make him talk funny, I would have thought that you would have chosen a more "agressive" form of the martial arts such as karate or tae-kwon-do. All you can do with judo is throw the person once they grab onto you, right?

[Marvel]

i've heard you can take down huge mountain men with a single blow.

Darlin',

I believe that was Marvel (different pretty blonde), not WW.

Walter

Yeah, but my money's on WW.....

[Laura]

Wow, this is turning out to be quite an interesting topic.

I fall somewhere in the middle these days, when it comes to the whole "chivalry vs. independence" thing.

When I was in my 20's, I was pretty "ballsy" for a girl- I was not afraid to take on anyone, male or female. (I did a lot of weight-lifting back then). I never got into any physical fights, but I could hold my own in most situations. I never started a fight, but I wouldn't let myself or my friends get bullied, either.

I have mellowed considerably with age, but I can still stand up for myself, or someone else, if the situation warrants. But if I was with a guy, and he did it for me, I would be grateful for the assistance.

I am both a tomboy AND a lady, so I like a man to respect my independence and strength, but if he does old-fashioned stuff like holding the door, that's wonderful too (especially if I am dressed up and feeling all "girly")

For the most part, the guys in my dive club treat us gals like "one of the guys" which means we all carry our own gear, tanks included. I have no problem with this, since I am real big on being a self-sufficient diver.

The only exception was a few years ago, after I had been in a car wreck and strained my back. My doctor had cleared me to dive again, but I was a bit cautious on that first dive, so one of my guy pals carried my tank a few times until I felt 100% again. Once I felt strong again, I started carrying it myself.

I like knowing that I can support myself, but if a guy wants to pamper me, I'd have to say "thanks baby, spoil me all you want". But I also like to give as well as receive.

It's all about balance....

Peace, everyone
Laura

[Laura]

  WW, i've heard you can take down huge mountain men with a single blow.

resisting.....the....temptation.....to....respond.....

"Captain! we can't take the pressure. If it builds up anymore, she's goin-ta' blow!