415 replies to this topic

[Laura]

[quote name='Marvel' date='Apr 12 2004, 09:28 AM']
Laura [/QUOTE]
WHAT are we talking about rising here????? [/QUOTE]
Lord, you're brave WW!!! I have been pointedly ignoring this byplay! [/quote]
OH Be-HAVE Baby!

LG

[fbp]

Geeeshh... LOL...
and I was just looking for a cute little dive budd-ette...

It's been my experience, very limited as I'm the shy type, that the Ladies of Diving are usually attracted the to the younger ones as are, typically, the Gentlemen of Diving.
I'm older, age posted - ahh heck "57" but feel like about mid 40's or so..


When trying to find a cute little Lady of Diving, in that age bracket, I'm thought of as a Father? or worse... so pretty much gave it up... the younger I looked the worse it got... Although I try to stay in shape, a loosing battle to be sure, I expect my dive Budd-ette to be the same.

I want the traveling, activities that 'WE" younger ones used to do (some still do) but the numbers seem to thin out after about 45yrs... younger is nice, for both genders, and "Eye Candy" is terrific until the honeymoon is over... I certainly don't want anymore kids, can't have'em anyway, so as (sorry can't get back to thread) the lovely 28yr old said, it shouldn't make a difference, but it does...
Sigh... I dunno... I just keep diving and wait for the Mermaids... Narc'd and all.. LOL...
It's all in the chemistry eh??

[mischievous]

i like older guys myself. the youngest in my recent debaucles was 32 (8 yrs older) and the oldest 41. it was great during the honeymoon period that fbp mentioned, but then they got into wanting something serious, talking about kids, and literally telling me that they were prepared to take care of me . h*** no! i didn't sign on to be another person's dependent. it's really turn off when a man starts telling you that he can provide you the lifestyle that he thinks you'll enjoy. i'd rather duct tape my integra together than ask for his help. you can ask the peeps at emerald sea divers...my car was a lovely california suede for months until got around to painting it.

but older men (if you find one you're definately attracted to) are reliable, fun, have a mentoring factor, and unfortunately a lot of baggage! but <wink> did i mention fun?

scubakim, if the concern is with your man chasing after the kids when he's 65, then that is something that you've got to ponder. you can join my club, as i'm hoping that i can meet someone closer to my age that has all the best qualities of the guys that i fall for. and just because you date someone doesn't mean that you have to marry them, just watch out. if you end up falling for the guy, the initial position that you took in the relationship that you just wanted to have fun might backfire on you. speaking from experience, since i got the wedding invitation and my name wasn't on it.

[coppermaus]

Hey Scubakim, this is an interesting thread in that's it's something we ALL have direct experience with, and therefore thoughtful advice. Seems that mine is a little different than most in that I would tell you not to follow your heart, at least not initially.

At 28 you may still feel like you have plenty of time to find someone you can be happy with and start a family, but let me tell you, time passes SO fast. Close to 10 years older than you, I'm looking around at all my friends approaching 40 and still looking for that person. Not that 40 is some terrible cliff you fall off of, but to be realistic, is that when you want to start a family? For my friends, that definitely isn't fitting into what they wanted out of life at all, and it's very sad to see a great guy who would be a wonderful dad whose life is passing by without having the family he always wanted.

No, dating someone doesn't mean you have to marry 'em, and you can certainly learn a lot from the people you spend your time with, a lot about yourself and what you want mostly. However, it's so easy to find yourself looking back at 20 years of serial monogamy which maybe doesn't add up to something meaningful.

My overall point here is to spend some time thinking, listening to yourself, maybe even writing down what you want out of life. And figuring out whether spending a couple of years with a guy you don't think you'll spend your life with gets you where you want to be. Perhaps it does, in a life experience kind of way, or perhaps it's not taking your own dreams seriously. Either way, using your head and doing some soul searching can get you started on figuring out when to let your heart wander, because unfortunately love does not conquer all. There are a lot of very practical realities to relationships, and they only get bigger over time.

That said (did I get too serious here?) I say flirt shamelessly in any age range or demographic. For me that range currently goes from 21 to 64, although I'm always open to widening the spectrum!

[mischievous]

yea...someone dropped a doozy on me recently and now i have to decide my single status. i've got the weekend to decide, and it's not very fun. but coppermaus is totally there with:

And figuring out whether spending a couple of years with a guy you don't think you'll spend your life with gets you where you want to be.

eyeopener, definately. :lam:

[Coo's Toe]

That said (did I get too serious here?)

Hey 'Maus, someone needs to bring us back down to Earth from time to time. It's fun to flirt around here but I think we all have a serious side that needs to be expressed sometimes. Relationships are pretty serious business, not to be taken lightly all the time. I think we should all take some time out to explore the serious side.

I can see why they picked you out for moderator duty... you seem to be pretty grounded in reality. Keep up the good work.

[fbp]

Yeah, I have noticed the older I become, the more important it is to have someone to enjoy things with. A "best Friend" so to speak.

It's a tough call in deciding what to do because on the one hand it's fun to have fun and on the other hand it's fun to build experiences with someone. Somone who knows enough about you to give you a gift.. say Birthday Pres and Knows, Cares and WANTs to do something special, not just order something from the web..

My last Dive Buddett was a good friend, we went on dive trips, campouts but always stayed Platonic.. different tents etc... she liked hiking, eating (I like cooking), diving, she had traveled around the world and was very independant, apx 14 years younger. Over a period of 3 years, I was growing more and more attached and she stayed pretty much uncaring. Finally as it came to a head, I explained that due to a certain situation I wouldn't dive with her agian. She said OK, and never bothered to ask why, how come, can we discuss this, nothing.. just OK and that was the last I heard from her.. so relationships DO develop regardless of the agreements ideas set up ahead of time and someone gets hurt, and sometimes it's "just for the fun"... which can lead to a shallow one.

I'm not sure I could handle a relationship as I'm pretty much set in my ways out of necessity. I like, enjoy, making someone special laugh, have fun and that doesn't seemed to be happening with the "younger crowd" so it sort of eliminates that group.
On the other hand, going off on a trip, having a dive buddy that you can have fun with, do things that they might not experience and going with someone else is a trade off ... You know they'll run off at the first site of someone that closer matches their current appeal.. and then what do you do.. pickup the tank, put it in the truck and go get some Air for the next dive... but feeling a big chunk of feelings have just left... oh you still have the memories and that's certainly worth it, but....??

So, bottom line IMNSOH is.... Flirt and expect nothing, just do what you want to do, go in the direction you want to go and if something hits me in the face - roll with the flow - keeping in mind it's short tremed so enjoy it while you can... if the relationship is strong enough, it will continue.. if not, the like the 'hand and bird' saying.. it'll fly away.... and not come back... heheheh... sigh... too many hands, not enough birds... anyway, bottom line is if you an make someone happy and they appreciate it in return, then you have YOUR relationship - enjoy it while you can.... time will determine how it will end...

Now I want to go diving..

Edited by fbp, 15 April 2004 - 04:24 PM.

[Diverbrian]

Taking a sage person's advice, I am trying to learn how to flirt a bit. It isn't easy for me. Contrary to some of the posts that you see on this board, one of the biggest knocks on my personality is my extremely serious nature. It got me where I am, but not where I wish to be now most of the time.

As 'Maus says when you're in your twenties, it seems like you have plenty of time to start a family. When you are in your mid thirties, a certain clock starts to set in. You start asking yourself if you really want a family at this point in life. You start planning for the rest of it. Do you really want to change those plans? These are serious questions. Younger women, for the most part, don't feel like settling down as another lady here discusses. I want something solid. The two priorities do not mix. Somehow, I am attracted somewhat to the stability of women my own age or slightly older. I know that mid-thirties isn't "old", but it is often an age where people start re-evaluating priorities and that is serious stuff that needs be handled with a sense of humor to prevent from going insane. And yes, that "permanent dive buddy" begins to sound more attractive when you can have everything but someone intimate to share it with. Since I have started diving, I have made more friends and come out of the rock that I was hiding under for thirty+ years. It still needs some time to be lifted though.

Now back to our orginally scheduled irreverent discussion of table dances, whips, chains, snorkels, and long hoses....

[fbp]

Yeah, I hear ya on the older age group having a stable sense of reality...

I feel I've been around the block a few times (not complaining) and that as pretty much put a "Yawn" point of view on problems and stress points. I find the older a person, Usually??, they have mellowed out. They have a sense of what happens in the real world and deal with it. They can stop and smell the Roses or Not depending upon what they want and not some outside force... I used to date older ladies, unfortunately note at the "Boy Toy" level - I wish!1) but it was they're understanding of what reality is... no games, no hidden agenda.. well not too many at least and had a grasp of the problems in life. Today's "younger" gen that I'm becomming more acutely aware up here, Calif is-was different, but it'all about ME.. the "Me" generation.. cell phones, buy me, take me all about ME.. heheh... you start a conversation and within the next 3 sentences they're talking about what's best for them... I simply can't handle for any length of time.. so it's back to the older Generation... Stable, understanding, appreciative of the other person.. for the most part that is... don't know why it is.. but have been able to note the difference between Calif an Wa ladies... and it sticks out like a sore thumb...
My perspective and at different age levels, but I'm not the only one that seems to agree... heheheh.. so go figure...
Grab the tank and hit the water... open the valves on the way down..

[Marvel]

That said (did I get too serious here?)

Hey 'Maus, someone needs to bring us back down to Earth from time to time. It's fun to flirt around here but I think we all have a serious side that needs to be expressed sometimes. Relationships are pretty serious business, not to be taken lightly all the time. I think we should all take some time out to explore the serious side.

I can see why they picked you out for moderator duty... you seem to be pretty grounded in reality. Keep up the good work.

Well said Erin.

[coppermaus]

Thanks, Jacques (been wanting to call you that since you revealed your Coo's Toe namesake ). That means a lot coming from a grounded and thoughtful person like yourself!

[jextract]

... Today's "younger" gen that I'm becomming more acutely aware up here, Calif is-was different, but it'all about ME.. the "Me" generation.. cell phones, buy me, take me all about ME.. heheh... you start a conversation and within the next 3 sentences they're talking about what's best for them... I simply can't handle for any length of time.. so it's back to the older Generation... Stable, understanding, appreciative of the other person.. for the most part that is... don't know why it is.. but have been able to note the difference between Calif an Wa ladies... and it sticks out like a sore thumb...

Boy, I could tell you stories about what it's like dating in SoCal, and it ain't pretty. We'll have to compare notes over a cold one one of these days!

[Coo's Toe]

Thanks, Jacques (been wanting to call you that since you revealed your Coo's Toe namesake ). That means a lot coming from a grounded and thoughtful person like yourself!

Was I letting my thoughtful side show? I hope this doesn't affect my standing as class clown!!!

Seriously though, one of the great things about this place is our ability to keep each other rolling on the floor, and then pull something deep out for consideration when everyone least suspects it. It's so easy to forget amidst all the frivolity around here that we're all kind've looking for the same thing, something meaningful in our lives. Thanks again for the reality check.

[Coo's Toe]

... Today's "younger" gen that I'm becomming more acutely aware up here, Calif is-was different, but it'all about ME.. the "Me" generation.. cell phones, buy me, take me all about ME.. heheh... you start a conversation and within the next 3 sentences they're talking about what's best for them... I simply can't handle  for any length of time.. so it's back to the older Generation... Stable, understanding, appreciative of the other person.. for the most part that is...  don't know why it is.. but  have been able to note the difference between Calif an Wa ladies... and it sticks out like a sore thumb...

Boy, I could tell you stories about what it's like dating in SoCal, and it ain't pretty. We'll have to compare notes over a cold one one of these days!

I'm surprised you see such a pronounced difference between Washington and California... half the girls you'll meet in Washington are Cali transplants!!!

I've met at least two California natives that make me rethink my opinion of Cali girls. But you're right, there's way too much of the ME ME ME thing going on, and not just in California.

[fbp]

Heheh... LOL..... more like Crying Over a Beer (COB)?

Of course I was talking from a younger age and 14 years ago...

One thing I have noted, without trying offend the WA Ladies, is that there's NO sense of Humor... exceptions to everything, but the ones that are the exception are very funny, BUT have come from another state... typically Calif. I thought it was just me, but asked some other SoCal people up here and they see the same thing... it's just me.. just joking, but they said the same thing.. really strange...

Gotta be the lack of Sunshine or something.. but I'm certainly NOT going to say SoCal is all a bed of Roses... especially in Pasadena (City of Rose Parade)... but there is a definite difference. If I can't make'em laugh and have fun, I'm pretty much worthless... :anna:

Yeah, a beer or 12 would be great... we'll catch up on one of these trips... starting to plan now... have to knock off Roatan in Aug.. the open..