Since this is a topic of interest to me, I've tried to follow the posts to see what others think. One thing that always has to be factored in to any potential relationship is that people's interests, goals, etc., change over time. What a GF or BF wants at this point in time may change dramatically in 5 years.
For example, my last long-term (7 1/2 years and we're still close friends 4 years later) relationship was with a woman 13 years younger than me. We had (still have!) a great relationship that evolved out of friendship and mutual respect. We both worked for the same environmental organization, had common goals, etc. In her late 30's she experienced the death of her mother which led to rethinking her life's goals. Now she has a completely changed direction in life, one we don't share but each of us respect the other's directions. We remain close friends (I stay with her almost every time I'm on the mainland) although there is no romantic component to the relationship.
For this reason my relationships with much younger women, like my regular dive buddies, tends to be one of friendship rather than romance. Many of them are not ready to set firm life goals simply due to their ages and life experiences. In fact, one of them changes life goals about every month (I serve as a mentor to her as well as dive buddy). It's one of the reasons I enjoy her friendship though.
By the time a woman reaches her late 30's to 40's I think she has a better sense of what she wants out of life, out of relationships, etc. I'd say the same for a man, but know too many examples (including myself) of men who have gone through the proverbial "mid-life crisis" and re-evaluated their directions.
I really enjoy my relationships with the younger women as they give me a window into that generation's thinking (I only recently discovered I had offspring- a son aged 19- so I have had no experience other than through my teaching). Of course younger men would also but they tend not to be as communicative about such things. However, it would be rare to find a woman in her 20's or early 30's who had that sense of her future (even rarer to find a man!).
My best relationships seem to be with women in their late 30's to late 40's. Although younger than me, they have successfully survived many of the "big questions" in their lives and my relationships with them generally are more satisfying in so many ways.
Yes, age can be a factor... but it depends so much on the individual. I've met several women in their 20's whose company I thoroughly enjoy because they have a maturity level beyond their chronological age... and I've met women in their 50's and 60's who still didn't have a clue. Judge on a case-by-case basis factoring in the possibility of future change.
Despite all this "intellectualizing," I'd be happy to meet a woman of any age who I clicked with, who wanted to travel the world and dive, who had strong interests in the marine environment and educating others about it, and who wanted a commited one-on-one relationship (not necessarily leading to marriage, but I'm starting to soften on that issue!). I've never been a player... one relationship is enough of a challenge!
Dr. B.
Edited by drbill, 23 April 2004 - 10:14 AM.
