100 replies to this topic

[steelemagnolia6]

I once heard that the online dating sites are the singles bars of the new millenium...


It seems to me that there are a lot of people on them are out trolling for the next notch in their bed post. Guys who would be the ones that we saw in our youth wearing the white suits with gold chains, the George Hamilton tan and the femme fatale who is looking for her next sugar daddy...

I know that there are people out there who are honestly looking for "the one", that "honey of a happiness" and it does work for some folks. I wish them happy hunting, as for me it didn't work and I wasn't going to waste more than the 3 month rate that I signed up for...

[Brinybay]

I did that eharmony long form deal. Complete waste of time and money. Cancelled it as within three months. All I got was replies from people in places like Maine or Nova Scotia.

I also did the eHarmony form, but I don't recall paying money for it. But yes, it was a complete waste of time. Spent all that time answering their questions only have them make me feel like a complete loser by rejecting it. Not only that, they gave my email away and I started getting SPAMED. I know it had to be eHarmony that gave my email away because I used a brand new Web based email address on eHarmony that I had never used prior.

[Brinybay]

Is on line dating really any worse than your friends fixing you up with blind dates????

Don't know, because my friends don't do that. They're too busy with their own relationships to worry about mine.

That brings up another subject, how to best "fix" friends up. I'll start off by saying don't try to force the situation. I would be more comfortable in a situation where a friend invited me over for a dinner party, and also invited a few others, including a single lady, and then just let things take their natural course, rather than specifically "fix" you up with a date.

[Brinybay]

Have to say, it's been a great experience for me. It's helped me to define what kind of woman I'm actually looking for. I've met a couple of golddiggers, but not bad and certainly no crazy people. Those I meet in bars.........Like the "Evil One".

Truth be known, I don't have to worry too much about the golddiggers. As soon as they find out there's no gold to dig, they high-tail it!

[cmt489]

Is on line dating really any worse than your friends fixing you up with blind dates????


The date has a really good personality?? Who hasn't heard that one???

I think that I'd make a few of the guys that I have been fixed up with wish they were blind, and I've been fixed up with a few that I wish that I was blind...

Personally, I think it is much better than a blind date. After all, you have to ask why your friend has no interest in the person you are being set up with!

[Diverbrian]

Is on line dating really any worse than your friends fixing you up with blind dates????


The date has a really good personality?? Who hasn't heard that one???

I think that I'd make a few of the guys that I have been fixed up with wish they were blind, and I've been fixed up with a few that I wish that I was blind...

Personally, I think it is much better than a blind date. After all, you have to ask why your friend has no interest in the person you are being set up with!

As many of my friends are married/involved, I don't need to ask that.

[annasea]

Is on line dating really any worse than your friends fixing you up with blind dates????


The date has a really good personality?? Who hasn't heard that one???

Since we're targeting this question at the moment, I thought I'd throw my two cents in (mind you, they're Canadian, so they're only worth around one and a half at the moment!).

The advantage to meeting friends of friends is if things don't work out, or do for that matter, at least you can find out more background info on the person.

I was in a situation recently where a female friend of mine introduced me to a male acquaintance of hers. Things were great initially, but once things started to go a little strange, it was nice to have her tell me a few things about him that I would otherwise have never known. It helped tremendously because I assumed I was at fault. As it turned out, he was riddled with problems (addicted to porn, cheated on past girlfriends, etc., and these were the little things!).

Had I met him online, and things turned out as they did, I would probably be partly blaming myself still because from a new person's perspective, he looked pretty great - good manners, cool job, adorable cats, etc. - but in reality, oy vey!

Even if I eventually met his friends after meeting him online, and things appeared to be working out, chances are I would never know about these hidden issues since who would they protect? Me or him? (Assuming that they'd even know about these lovely qualities of his!) I was fortunate I guess that he DID confide these sidenotes about himself to my friend, in light of what later happened. I doubt he broadcasts these details to others.

It did have a happy ending in some ways. My friendship with her has been taken to a more meaningful level, and she has finally realized what a loser this guy is and no longer chooses to associate with him, so his loss! X 2! (me and her)

[Brinybay]

I was in a situation recently where a female friend of mine introduced me to a male acquaintance of hers. Things were great initially, but once things started to go a little strange, it was nice to have her tell me a few things about him that I would otherwise have never known. It helped tremendously because I assumed I was at fault. As it turned out, he was riddled with problems (addicted to porn, cheated on past girlfriends, etc., and these were the little things!).

What puzzles me is why would your "friend" introduce you to such a horrible person, knowing what a sleaze he was?

Edited by Brinybay, 05 May 2005 - 08:41 PM.

[annasea]

What puzzles me is why would your "friend" introduce you to such a horrible person, knowing what a sleaze he was?

Well, that's the question, isn't it? It's a long story but basically, she wasn't aware of the depth of his various problems (except the cheating thing) until I started to fill her in on what was happening between him and me. As for why she'd introduce me to a guy who cheats, that's a whole other tale! (But trust me, she really is a good person who just had a lapse in judgment.)

[matts1w]

A guy with cats should have been your first clue.

Just kidding.

[steelemagnolia6]

Nothing wrong with cats.. I hear that they taste just like chicken to sharks...

[cmt489]

What puzzles me is why would your "friend" introduce you to such a horrible person, knowing what a sleaze he was?

Well, that's the question, isn't it? It's a long story but basically, she wasn't aware of the depth of his various problems (except the cheating thing) until I started to fill her in on what was happening between him and me. As for why she'd introduce me to a guy who cheats, that's a whole other tale! (But trust me, she really is a good person who just had a lapse in judgment.)

Exactly my point about the blind dates... I think I would much rather troll through profiles and do email and phone screening than have to meet someone in all senses of the word for the first time on a blind date. But then, that's just me...

[intotheblue]

Nothing wrong with cats.. I hear that they taste just like chicken to sharks...

I heard they taste like "frog legs"... "gator tale"... and "rattle snake"...

I've had them, but don't think I've ever had "gato"... gee, gato... gator tale...??? do I see a possibility here??? NOOOOOOO!!! It can't be!!!!

I have eaten in foreign countries... oh, perish the thought...

ITB...

[annasea]

Well, that's the question, isn't it? It's a long story but basically, she wasn't aware of the depth of his various problems (except the cheating thing) until I started to fill her in on what was happening between him and me. As for why she'd introduce me to a guy who cheats, that's a whole other tale! (But trust me, she really is a good person who just had a lapse in judgment.)

Exactly my point about the blind dates... I think I would much rather troll through profiles and do email and phone screening than have to meet someone in all senses of the word for the first time on a blind date. But then, that's just me...

Yes, but Michelle, how many guys are going to admit to cheating on former girlfriends and being addicted to porn in their profile? Not too many!

One might think one has found the most wonderful guy - based on what HE has chosen to reveal about himself. In reality, he could be a completely different person (and was!).

This is the point I made about the advantages of meeting friends of friends - at least this way, my friend and I were able to put 2 + 2 together and eventually realize what a total creep this guy really was. Otherwise, as previously stated, I might still be wondering what it was that I did wrong, rather than knowing the truth about him.

Oh, and by the way, this wasn't a blind date per se. We emailed back and forth for a significant period of time, and spoke on the phone as well. But once again, do you honestly think you can prescreen out a guy who has these 'qualities'? If you can, let me know . . . I'll be the first to sign up for lessons!

[FLDiver]

Seriously THINK about just How Honest the vast majority of people really -are- in those personal ad profiles.

I'm sure you can find many testimonials to the effect of persons who do not reflect their profile, or neglect to mention those little nasty details of addictions, actual body build, actual marital status, actual health status, actual sexual preference, actual criminal record, etc.etc.etc.etc.etc. ... ad nauseum!

Face it ... they / we put in our profile how they / we wish others to view us.

All those skeletons in the closet ... and it's up to the buyer to discover.

Caveat Emptor