Twinklez! What an absolute delight to have you here with us!Goes back to the "bad boy" thing even. The Bad Boy looks and acts very confident...but often that's just a cover for the soft hearted sentimental man buried underneath scared to death he'll be discovered. When actually the real person behind the facade is probably a very wonderful man...or could be.
So take this man, already hiding from himself and the world, and pair him up with a no nonsense woman who takes charge and does what needs to be done when it needs to be done. How long do you think it will be till he shrivels up with feelings of insecurity or inadequacy?
For a truly confident man, not one hiding behind the Bad Boy facade, it's no problem. But how many of us, men and women alike, don't hide behind a little bit of something? Thus, the truly confident man is few and far between; making the chances of a confident man and independent woman pairing up even less likely.
Hey...it's reality, but it doesn't mean that I'm not going to have fun looking!
I agree with your thoughts on the pairing of an independent woman with a *bad boy* man -- although my personal definition of a *bad boy* isn't so forgiving!
(I likened them to whipping cream in another thread recently -- great as the occasional hit of sugar, but useless when it comes to providing anything of sustenance.) I guess such men could just be extremely insecure or inadequate as you say, but I think, mistakenly perhaps, that they just don't have much to offer in terms of any kind of depth -- emotions, thoughts, feelings, conversation, etc. They're just shallow and/or egocentric. The same applies to some women too, of course. 
I believe we all hide behind a little something as well. Perhaps it's a defense mechanism against being too vulnerable to the wrong people. As long as one is aware of one's *shield*, I think it's OK though. I know for myself, when I meet people that I sincerely feel comfortable and *safe* with, I'm all too happy to eventually share my *delightful* foibles and quirks! It's part of what makes me me! And if someone has a problem with that -- whether they be a friend or lover -- then they probably weren't meant to be in my life. As well, I'm always appreciative and accepting of such charming characteristics in my friends as well. (I'm actually honored and flattered that they like and trust me enough to share their perceived *flaws* with me.) After all, there's nothing new under the sun!
So yes, it certainly is reality, but if there are women like you and me who feel this way, I'm sure there are male equivalents as well. Look at Neptuner!
An aside to Twinklez:
I recently attended a lecture for women only.
The speaker was a bit dry so we sat there quiet as polite mice. I saw an opportunity to ask a question and took it, and boy was the room on fire after that! How refreshing, amusing, and informative to swap tales of the big O with a room full of strangers! Some of these women were just so keen to question and share that I almost wondered if this was a topic rarely discussed amongst their own personal group of friends; the sense of relief in the air was palpable. If a group of strangers -- albeit women -- can do it, I like to think that a man and woman can do it too.
