328 replies to this topic

[mischievous]

i don't think of it as an insecurity thing, as a question of social expectations and how they are evolving. i know WW, SH, and some of the other dallasites. we've compared notes, and it seems like a trend in dating that fluctuates. it's not really insecurity. i don't watch "perfect love" dvds eating hagen daas (mango ice cream...yummy!)...more so i take risks or go with the popular bestseller and if they pan out, great...if not then i'm not one to sit at home in my pjs wondering why the relationship didn't work out. however, i do like to discuss it with people to see what their ideas are and what other things they've tried. i still everyone, and i like hearing how the guys are responding positively...but we all KNOW that the men on sd.com are a rare, gentlemenly breed!

[WreckWench]

you guys are too funny, albeit a bit insecure with yourselves it seems.

Are you referring to the guys as in males or guys as in slang for guys and gals????

  Hey WW, hit on me and see what happens 

Hmmm....and what trip did you say you would be on????

[mischievous]

hah! i feel sorry for you, kevin...you invited a well-trained lady to hit you!

[WreckWench]

hah! i feel sorry for you, kevin...you invited a well-trained lady to hit you!

Ssssh! Grasshopper....you'll let all my secrets out of the bag!!!

[nycamico]

Wow- come back after a morning post and all hell has broken loose. Thanks for the insights but I must say I'm more confused than ever! Very mixed bag of responses here. I agree with not being deceitful, but surely a little fabrication like you look familiar isn't so bad? Just to start a conversation? I'd be flattered if someone tried it on me, and this is only in a setting where there is really no other reason to speak- not at a party or social event.

As far as men wanting to be the hunter- and not calling back or dropping out of sight- absolutely no clue. Total bone headed avoidance of confrontation and honesty I guess. I had a guy I had been seeing for a few weeks agree to come over to my house for dinner, then not show up, ignore his cell phone and ignore his messages at home! I've never heard from him or seen him again, and yes I know he is not dead because a friend saw him. Really lousy behavior, and certainly no great loss for me. Incomprehensible caddishness though.

[GentDiver]

but we all KNOW that the men on sd.com are a rare, gentlemenly breed!

WOW... Thanks!

[drbill]

Nycamico- inexcusable behavior on his part. I've had the same thing happen with a few ladies over the years (although a rare event).

I can always walk up to someone at the dive park and say "Don't I know you from somewhere" because I don't dive with my glasses! Heck they could be blonde, brunette or even (gasp) a redhead. Actually my vision isn't that bad, but it's a good excuse.

Dr. B.

Edited by drbill, 10 May 2004 - 06:59 PM.

[triggerfish]

Carpe manum. Go for it!

carpe erinum????

[triggerfish]

Actually my vision isn't that bad, but it's a good excuse.

Dr. B.

how good is your braille?

[Coo's Toe]

Carpe manum. Go for it!

carpe erinum????

Geez... your latin is as bad as mine!

[triggerfish]

Geez... your latin is as bad as mine!

hey, watch it...i remember the latin root to an awful lot of body parts..........

[Diverbrian]

Somehow, (as ladies, I am NOT Robert Redford or Brad Pitt here) I seem to "luck" into women that hit on me. Actually it is not a mystery, my confidence in approaching a woman romantically is not existant. I seldom try and typically when I do, I am so awkward at it that the smoke is coming out the engines and my pilot is reaching for the EJECT lever before I open my mouth, LOL.

I have said no to a couple because I knew that they were married and wanted some action on the side and I am not into that. One I let chase me down to find out two months into the relationship that she was married (That one really bothered me!). One was the shortest chase that I have been involved in and I am still paying for that one!

A couple of others were obvious "barracudas" from the word go and I get the distinct impression that if they would have got me where they wanted me, I would have been unable to do much.

Do I mind agressive women? No, I am flattered as a matter of fact if they are interested in dating me and they are so sure of what they want. Do I mind hyper-aggressive women? Yes, the thought of giving complete control of anything to another being just isn't my idea of a great deal.

Just some more of my thoughts!

And ladies, I am with Kevin. Try with me and see what happens? You may be pleasantly surprised.

[oatmeal769]

I'll let you in on a secret of mine...
Every first opener with any woman I've ever 'walked up to' is a line. How could it be anything else, I don't even know her. I've learned a few better lines than 'Uhh huh huh, you're like, uhhh, cute and stuff... uhh huh huh." But they are still lines. The translation is 'Wow, You're really cute! I'd like a shot at getting to know you."'
I will walk right up to someone I don't know most of the time, (after sufficient mental preparation) if the attraction is there, as I've found NOT walking up to her to be a bigger regret than doing so. I will admit that I have been mercilessly shot down in flames most times, and sometimes let down easy, but it is worth it every time to know for sure.
I'd love it if more women made that move toward me.
It's happened before, and been really great. Even if I'm not interested or available, I think if someone has the meddle to do it, it speaks well about their character, and I will take the time to at least exchange pleasantries. I also think that most guys are more used to what it feels like to get blown out of the water, so we may be much more cool about letting someone down, if it's not right.

Good Luck! Uhhh huh huh... WHOA!!!

[canuckdiver]

Geez... your latin is as bad as mine! 

hey, watch it...i remember the latin root to an awful lot of body parts..........

heheh, can we have a quiz???

[canuckdiver]

As far as men wanting to be the hunter- and not calling back or dropping out of sight- absolutely no clue.

sorry, but I gotta say that I feel this view is wrong in the most part.

The only type of guy that loses interest when he is not the "hunter" is a guy that can't handle it when he is not the one in control (major sign of an inferiority complex IMHO).

For a strong woman, initiating contact is not improper at all.
(and something I find quite attractive )