328 replies to this topic

[drckw]

Hello there, I just lurked my way through this conversation with HIGH interest, because I've often wondered the same thing. I was at the gas station this morning, very attractive (in a rough manly sort of way) guy standing there, we made eye contact, nothing more. And then as I was driving away, I wondered... what if????

OK guys, here's MY question (apologies for hogging this topic with another question). What if a woman saunters over and says Hi and he's married, and then I feel like an idiot and some sort of desperado???

...just sign me..... another single ladydiver....

:anna2:

[canuckdiver]

OK guys, here's MY question (apologies for hogging this topic with another question). What if a woman saunters over and says Hi and he's married, and then I feel like an idiot and some sort of desperado???

Well, I would say that if you walked over and said "hi", and he turns out to be married, you have still paid him a large compliment, and probably had an enjoyable conversation, and possibly made a new friend.

No big downside that I can see

[scubahoney]

OK guys, here's MY question (apologies for hogging this topic with another question).  What if a woman saunters over and says Hi and he's married, and then I feel like an idiot and some sort of desperado???

Well, I would say that if you walked over and said "hi", and he turns out to be married, you have still paid him a large compliment, and probably had an enjoyable conversation, and possibly made a new friend.

No big downside that I can see

I agree completely. Anytime a guy has asked me out while I have a boyfriend, I am beyond flattered. It's nice to know that people are interested in me even though I'm not available...and if you are nice enough, you may make a new friend/dive buddy (who knows!), like canukdiver said. However, attitude is everything. I have had some people get mad or look down on me like I'm not good enough for them when I told them no. BUt I've never seen it the other way around (where the person being asked out gets mad) except in the movies.

[ColoradoPilot]

My usual procedure after seeing a likely victim, I mean date prospect, is to check her left ring finger.

[drbill]

I guess I've been single so long that I don't even think to look at a woman's ring finger. My female housemate always asks "why didn't you look for a ring?" I'm single so I expect the rest of the world is too... and if I wait long enough, they eventually are!

Dr. B.

[Bubble2Bubble]

Its All in the Smile!

When I see someone who is possibly interested in me and we make eye contact and I smile and she smiles back there is a possible connection there :anna: But 90% of the time she is going 30 to 55 mph the other way most likely going to work as am I and I wonder was that the one ?. But in a pulic place like a store where speeds rarely exceed 5 mph there is a chance to strike-up an conversation and find some common ground. as a man I am interested in someone that is interested in me and I find that a women that comes right out to strike-up a conversation to be a nice change finally.

As none of us are professinals for sure at this. ladies a simple smile can be a great icebreaker this would let me and the like know you are at least comfortable with us.

I hope all the Best for everybody here!


Mike

[Walter]

What if a woman saunters over and says Hi and he's married, and then I feel like an idiot and some sort of desperado???

In that case, you've had a nice conversation. There's no down side.

[drbill]

Agreed... it would only be a problem if you already knew he was married. Since you didn't, yout ook a chance and I'm sure flattered him. Hopefully he responded in a way that made you feel OK with it too.

Off to see the Lakers vs the Spurs... go Lakers!!!

Dr. Bill

[triggerfish]

sweetie, go 'head and smile and strike up a conversation. what's the harm? i do it all the time (even with people that live OUTSIDE my head!!!) and i find that people respond in kind. put yourself in the the other position...wouldn't YOU enjoy the attention? if he's not a total skincrawl, of course you would!!! and, as everyone has said, so what if he's married. you've had a pleasant experience and chances are you'll never see him again.

[NormsKid]

I see attractive men out shopping and such, but have no clue how to initiate contact. I am really clueless as to the whole flirting deal, and feel like I need some plan of action to follow here.

So anyway- just wondering how you guys feel about this and if you have any suggestions. Or ladies, any good stories or pick up lines you use?

Personally, I don't use pick up lines as I don't wanna give the guy the wrong impression of me. I Don't want him to think I'm interested in picking him up for some sort of one night stand....

Suggestion:

Since you also seem more interested in getting to know the guy...ask open ended questions designed to allow him the oppourtunity to converse with you, if he would like to.

Next time your out shopping and you see a guy you'd like to approach, think of a innocent question to ask him regarding whatever it is he's lookin at in the store. Or ask him for some advise on whatever your shopping for. (for example, "I've never tried/had _____, how does the brand you have compare to this one?)

Jus a lil sumthin to try.....

Michelle

[ColoradoPilot]

So Michelle, are you the mythical woman that is in the produce section? I have yet to meet a woman there but the possibility still exists. Just like the chance of meeting someone while flying (yea right, I usually have an overweight guy seated next to me)

Edited by ColoradoPilot, 15 May 2004 - 09:35 PM.

[CaptainRonPdx]

My mom once told me that my greatest gift was to make friends anywhere I go. It is something I work at and usually have a smile for anyone I make eye contact with, male or female. I strike up conversations with people on a daily basis. The easiest way to start is to notice something maybe a bit unique about them. An interesting piece of jewlery, clothing, something in thier shopping cart, comment on something you are both looking at. Compliment what you see, the more you do this the easier it gets. Be sincere, it wont come out right if you are making something up. I for one could never compliment someones body art, because I really dont like that stuff (see other posts on this forum Practice on even someone you are not interested in romanticly and it will be easier when you try it with someone you are. The best vitamin for making friends is B-1!!
As for having women strike up the conversation with me, I love it, Im flattered, bring it on. Tell me im sexy, Im putty in your hands LOL

[triggerfish]

The best vitamin for making friends is B-1!!

uh, cap, honey...does that one work for you out in or'gon????

[Blublood]

sweetie, go 'head and smile and strike up a conversation. what's the harm? i do it all the time (even with people that live OUTSIDE my head!!!) and i find that people respond in kind. put yourself in the the other position...wouldn't YOU enjoy the attention? if he's not a total skincrawl, of course you would!!! and, as everyone has said, so what if he's married. you've had a pleasant experience and chances are you'll never see him again.

Just a quickie here, no pun intended of course, but Trigger is right on the money. Read ZD's signature sometime. Everyone you meet in one or the other becomes in someway a part of your life....So why not live life to it's fullest. If you want to smile at and start a conversation with someone you find attractive or interesting go for it...99% you'll both be better for it regardless of what does or doesnt happen.

[NormsKid]

Colorado Pilot,

As I mentioned once before, my mom was from the south, my dad was from the north, and I was raised a bit different than most folks up north....my mom always taught me to be social with folks wether I know them or not, whether they look like me or not, whether they speak like me or not. I spent all my summers in the south and it was a very common thing for folks in the south to walk by an smile at/speak to total strangers or chat about things while waitin on the bus or whatever.

It's not normal up here in Chicago for folks to do that an sometimes I do get strange looks when I initiate conversation with total strangers, but I make the concerted effort to be social cause it truly makes life more enjoyable for everyone. I don't feel like I have to be standoffish jus cause many northerners were raised to be that way. The choice is really mine an I jus choose to be social.

I really don't care if I get the strange look every now & then from someone who isn't use to talkin to a total stranger cause most folks are receptive an do converse if I break the ice an allow them the oppourtunity to do so.

For me it's really just a matter of 2 things:

1) Do I sit back and wait for the world to come knockin on my door;or
2) Do I go out and knock on doors an meet the rest of the world.

I like option 2 best, but to each, his own....gotta do what you feel best doin. No harm, no foul either way.

When I posted my suggestion to the original poster, I was jus tryin to give her a suggestion on what to try cause she clearly is of the type to want to try something direct and has been in the situation where she could have tried what I suggested had she known about that approach. It certainly isn't gonna work for everyone...jus those who feel comfortable with it an are willing to try it.

Jus tryin ta help a fellow single gal!!!!

Keep those ideas & suggestions comin guys....I've seen a couple things that I've added to my arsenal already! You guys ROCK!!

Michelle