104 replies to this topic

[Blackhawk]

Alrighty then. Basically there is a code. Got it. That was too funny, the tube thing. Where are the ladies on this one? I have come to one conclusion....dating is difficult....not always wonderful.....and sometimes just too much drama.

Well yeah there is a code.. that being said if they wouldn't dance they were just being stupid... I have no problem dancing with women who are dating my friends (or someone else friends for that matter )no matter where in the relationship they are... If said friend has a problem with it then he'll tell me and I'll reply with a simple "we were just dancing so kiss me @ss and get over it" ... Then buy him a beer and all should be fine.

[scubagirl]

How do you know he's backing off?

He is not calling everyday like he did. We are not seeing eachother quite as often as we did. In a girl's mind when those things change then you assume his feelings have also.

[Walter]

How do you know he's backing off?

He is not calling everyday like he did. We are not seeing eachother quite as often as we did. In a girl's mind when those things change then you assume his feelings have also.

That's not necessarily what it means to him.

[BeachBunny]

How do you know he's backing off?

He is not calling everyday like he did. We are not seeing eachother quite as often as we did. In a girl's mind when those things change then you assume his feelings have also.

That's not necessarily what it means to him.

I'm with scubagirl on this one....we know he could be busy at work, etc....but you find time for what is important, and usually new relationships are important so how are we to interpret a change in behavior?

[Walter]

A man's concept of time is different. What seems like a long time to you may seem like a short time to him. The best thing is to simply ask him what he wants.

[jextract]

A man's concept of time is different. What seems like a long time to you may seem like a short time to him. The best thing is to simply ask him what he wants.

... and we guys have this habit that you might find a little quirky: when you ask us, we actually will tell you! In English! Without codes, anagrams, incantations, smoke signals, secret decoder ring ... whatever else it is that we need to translate what you 'XX'-ers all use to answer that question.

[cmt489]

A man's concept of time is different. What seems like a long time to you may seem like a short time to him. The best thing is to simply ask him what he wants.

... and we guys have this habit that you might find a little quirky: when you ask us, we actually will tell you! In English! Without codes, anagrams, incantations, smoke signals, secret decoder ring ... whatever else it is that we need to translate what you 'XX'-ers all use to answer that question.

Hmmm, you must have a different breed of men down there. Up here, the women need the interpretive tools more so than the men do!

[Walter]

A man's concept of time is different. What seems like a long time to you may seem like a short time to him. The best thing is to simply ask him what he wants.

... and we guys have this habit that you might find a little quirky: when you ask us, we actually will tell you! In English! Without codes, anagrams, incantations, smoke signals, secret decoder ring ... whatever else it is that we need to translate what you 'XX'-ers all use to answer that question.

Hmmm, you must have a different breed of men down there. Up here, the women need the interpretive tools more so than the men do!

Have you tried speaking plainly?

[cmt489]

A man's concept of time is different. What seems like a long time to you may seem like a short time to him. The best thing is to simply ask him what he wants.

... and we guys have this habit that you might find a little quirky: when you ask us, we actually will tell you! In English! Without codes, anagrams, incantations, smoke signals, secret decoder ring ... whatever else it is that we need to translate what you 'XX'-ers all use to answer that question.

Hmmm, you must have a different breed of men down there. Up here, the women need the interpretive tools more so than the men do!

Have you tried speaking plainly?

Yes, and I have even stuck with monosyllabic words when at all possible...

[Moose]

Funny thing, I wrote a response to another thread here and I'm going to say the same thing (it's the only universal truth in dating.)

You need 2 things for a relationship to be successful...

Trust and communication

Both people need both. With this, a healthy relationship can weather anything. (Note breaking trust is not something "to" be weathered.)

As for the original situation, if you think that you have a relationship, there is nothing wrong with just calling him if you want to talk to him. Women need to take as much responsibility in this process as the man. Just because he doesn't call you, doesn't mean he isn't interested or that you can't call him.

However note, this advice comes from a single, never married, 35 year old man. (But I do have pets and plants that survive for years. This is a good indicator if a man is responsible and able to make a commitment!) 8>)

Oh yeah, I've got money. Hey, wait, what the hell is wrong with me? It's not like I got a third arm or something.

Great, now I'm depressed! 8>)

[Walter]

Yes, and I have even stuck with monosyllabic words when at all possible...

If you were dealing with someone who needs monosyllabic words, that could be the problem.

[jextract]

Funny thing, I wrote a response to another thread here and I'm going to say the same thing (it's the only universal truth in dating.)

You need 2 things for a relationship to be successful...

Trust and communication

I thought it was 1) show up naked; 2) bring beer.

[WreckWench]

When men are interested in you they do call...alot. First it was about business, then SD and then any excuse he could come up with to talk to me. Once it was 'a relationship' then he called even more...like daily. Then several times a day.

I've seen this pattern before. Usually it ends when 'he' finds something else to capture his attention or his imagination.

Fortunately for me this time the pattern didn't end. And for the record...it still hasn't. What used to be any reason to talk to me has become a consistent pattern of sharing his life with his best confidant.

So yes...when men stop calling it is possible that they are busy but they usually will tell you that too. To quote someone else and lord knows I have no idea who originally said it...but when he stops calling...he just ain't that into you anymore.

[Walter]

He didn't stop calling. He stopped calling every day.

[scubagirl]

He didn't stop calling. He stopped calling every day.

Well the last call I got, no wait, I called him. Had a Tshirt I needed to return to him. He said he was on his way to Brenham with some buddies. I said oh great well I have a Tshirt I need to return to you. He said well I won't be there and then He asked if i was going out tonight (saturday) I said yes, he said to BT and I said yes. He said he was going up there too. I said okay...pause...he said he would call me this afternoon. No call and didn't show. Okay guys take that and run with it....whats up with that. Soooooo I went over to his house on Sunday thinking he was at work (because that is what he told me he was going to be) and saw that he had done some major yard work and was home. I rang the bell, he answered, looking shocked I might add, I said hey wanted to drop this off and said cya and turned around and walked to my car. Guess that wasn't the right thing to do either but I was through.

My thoughts on this experience is this. If something happened to freak him out or he lost interestest then have enuf ba (double Ls) to say something. Why should I be the one to ask him what has happened? And yes if they don't call...they are just not into you anymore. I read the book as well.