104 replies to this topic

[annasea]

<snip>

You know that saying, "If something seems too good to be true, it usually is"? Well, the most important thing you can do is to be yourself. Please don't be The Man in the Box!

EXACTLY!!!

[annasea]

...But what happens when the looks fade, the money's gone and health dissipates? Your supposed love match disappears, too, I'd reckon.

Nope. The word 'NEXT' is then heard throughout the land...

PlatypusMan

Um... that's what I meant. You just took it a step further.

[WreckWench]

Personally, I think the best advice by far given in this thread is to be yourself.

There's only one problem with "being yourself."

You run the risk of being no longer seen as interesting to either others or yourself, assuming that you are honest with yourself. There is also the possibility of -- exposing yourself-- to having one or more "deal breakers" without the option of a deeper look by others to determine how they came to be there--or if they really are dealbreakers after all.

Who am I? Like most, sometimes I'm happy, sometimes sad -- at times funny and giddy, others with a solemnity so heavy that entire planets cannot escape my orbit.

I work, I've toiled, sometimes to the detriment of my personal satisfaction in life. I would like to believe that what I have done in life has a certain amount of meaning and value.

See what I mean?

PlatypusMan

No, I don't understand. Can you elaborate please? (I've had more chocolate this past week than some people eat in a lifetime so things (my brain?) aren't working quite as they should. )

What I've written here is just a bit about my life and myself as I see it.

Pretty dull stuff, isn't it?

Now--look at a pretty typical laundry list that many women post in online dating sites and also state when interviewed:

Tall, attractive, 'chemistry', travels a lot, goes places and does exciting things.

No match at all, is there? THAT'S why so many feel the need to project a facade--in order to give themselves a fighting chance.

PlatypusMan

John, if at first glance the true self is not revealed...then look again or find ways for many glances before a decision is to be made.

No wonder people 'dress up' their dating profiles online. Everyone is fishing and well if you are going to cyberfish...might as well fish for a whopper. So that is what you get...whoppers. Can't tell you how many people lie about HUGE things on the net...hoping you will get to know who they are for real and then perhaps forgive the age variance of 15 years or the weight variance of say 50 pounds.

The trick is to be in environments where you get to 'know' people for who they are and then your better attributes will be revealed...in time...in layers. With the pressure of 'dating' removed or the issue of 'looking good on paper' unimportant...the real person is always reflected and people get a chance to know you for the important things. Like these posts...when people open their hearts and their minds and give the gift of participation...they are also giving a gift of themselves. And we reveal sides of ourselves that normally would not be revealed. It is exciting to see facets of people I never thought imaginable...nor would I normally have the opportunity to see.

Of course people are REALLY drawn to confidence and happiness. We all want to be happy and confident. Therefore we are attacted to people who are. Be what you desire and you'll attract what you seek.

[Moose]

Oh dear, not Walter's approach!

We've got a lot of blues in Florida. I love blues music, and jazz, rock, and just about everything except for rap and country. I go to the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival every year! We don't have much snow here. I think the last time was 1988, though some claim to have seen a little snow a few weeks ago. It has been in the 70s lately, perfect for SCUBA diving year round (as you guessed...see, I listen .

Now, what is your approach?

Have you been on any of the SD dives? Where is your next dive planned? When and where was your last?

OK, after reading Walter's recommendation, this seems to be going well.

My approach? I really don't have one (which is why I thought I'd give Walter's a try, (Albeit jokingly))
I haven’t been on any of the SD organized dives, except the “scrubs” dives that I put together at Sandy Hook. I’ve been to the local HH as well. I plan to do many more.
My last dive was the 24th. I did a solo river dive. I would have been out this past weekend, but my new dry suit isn’t in yet and my semidry needed a new zipper.

I do plan on going to Grenada, and the Great White shark trip this year at a min.

OK, back to the originally question… “Will I marry you?”

I have some pretty high standards. Years of rejection and failed relationships have allowed me to hone my requirements down so I can easily identify if someone will make a great mate. So let’s see if you fit…

My standards are… “Female, Mammal, Heartbeat.” (In that order, however, I could be flexible on the whole “heartbeat” thing.)

Hum, sounds like you fit the bill.

So yes, I will marry you!

[Moose]

With the exception of 'chemistry', most of the other attributes listed screams *icing* whereas the first quote conveys depth, maturity and self-reflection.

Sure, the *pretty boy* who travels 6 months of the year looks good, but maybe he's as dim as the day is long. Who wants to be with someone who can't hold up their end of the conversation? Supeficial, insecure people, I guess. But what happens when the looks fade, the money's gone and health dissipates? Your supposed love match disappears, too, I'd reckon.

OK, I did the whole internet dating thing. In the beginning, (like 1999) it was much better. In past years, it’s turning into quite a gutter, with many people just looking for a quick “notch,” if you know what I mean. That is not something I have any interest in.

I’ve noticed that many people do GROSSLY misrepresent themselves on these sites. A lot of the time, it’s the same people on all the major sites. I’ve noticed that many women don’t even write back when you send them a message. I used to do a search that matched me, just to see what I was up against. I couldn’t believe how superficial and shallow people were on the sites. Guys that would have a picture with their shirt off, flexing their arms in front of a car that has “No fear” and “No Fat Chicks” stickers all over them.

I have noticed that the more “specialized” dating sites still are effective to meet more genuine people; however, these sites normally don’t have as many people on them, so finding someone in your area is difficult. (Sites, like Greensingles, datemypet, etc.)
With those sites, you already have a “built in” common interest so it helps. What I find is that each of “specialties” attract a certain type of person. Take a site devoted to environmental preservation like Greensingles. They are people of a certain mindset, income bracket, respect level, etc. This is the same for diving forums. (Note, this is not limited to just “single sites” but for the general community that the site spawns.)
Diving is a very expense hobby. So it has a built in filter to people with disposable income, adventurous, flexibility in schedules, travel prone, etc. So it’s a much better place to meet people (even for just platonic relationships or just pen pals.)

I do think that this is by far the best profile that I’ve ever written… (just the description)

Ladies, are tried of that old boyfriend who lies and cheats all the time?
Do you hate coming home to an empty house at night?
Do you find yourself wishing for someone to be there to open the really tough jars or reach things on high selves?

SEARCH NO MORE!

With this exclusive TV Offer, you can get all that an more.
With the new and improved Eric, you get a boyfriend, a big teddy bear; someone to watch old TV movies with, someone to takes walks/bike rides/car trips with, someone to take to weddings, parties, other special events and even your Aunt Sally’s summer picnic. You get a guy you can bring home to meet the parents. And I slice, I dice, and I make Julian fries.

What would you pay for all this? Don’t answer yet, there is still more.
You get 2 wonderful dogs, free of charge.

All of these items separately would cost well over $30 dollars to purchase separately. But with this TV Offer, you don’t have to pay $30. You don’t even have to pay $29.99, or even $19.99. You get all this with the cost of one email!

But wait, there’s more!
Order now and you can also receive at no addition cost, a free dinner with witty conversation.
So why wait. Quantities are limited. Act Now! (Operators are standing by.)

However, I never received a single hit on that one.

[Walter]

One thing I learned in sales, when you've made the sale, stop selling. Sign the deal, she's a keeper, man!

Okay, Walter. That's the nicest thing you've said to or about me on SD! Thanks.

SSHHHHH. You'll spoil my reputation. You're welcome, if things don't work out with Moose. look to the south)

Edited by Walter, 03 January 2007 - 05:47 AM.

[Walter]

Moose, your problem is you said operators are standing by, but didn't post the 800 number.

[sunshinediver]

Moose, your problem is you said operators are standing by, but didn't post the 800 number.

So true, Walter!

So, moose, now that you've accepted my proposal , I guess we'd better find a time to meet, huh? LOL

[Moose]

Moose, your problem is you said operators are standing by, but didn't post the 800 number.

So true, Walter!

So, moose, now that you've accepted my proposal , I guess we'd better find a time to meet, huh? LOL

We could just set a date and invite everyone here to the reception. But if you want to be more traditional, I guess we could meet once.

I'll fly down there on the 12th and fly home on the 14th. Can you set up a dive for the 13th locally? Also, let me know when to stay when I'm in town, (whatever town in FL it is)?

Gee, I guess Walter's advice was spot on!

[secretsea18]

SSHHHHH. You'll spoil my reputation. (You're welcome, if things don't work out with Moose. look to the south)

very sneaky with the subliminal message Walter...

[drbill]

<snip>

...the most important thing you can do is to be yourself.

EXACTLY!!!

No, THAT's the problem. I always try to be myself and that's what scares the women away (well, that and the fangs, right, Caetllonn?).

[sunshinediver]

We could just set a date and invite everyone here to the reception. But if you want to be more traditional, I guess we could meet once.

I'll fly down there on the 12th and fly home on the 14th. Can you set up a dive for the 13th locally? Also, let me know when to stay when I'm in town, (whatever town in FL it is)?

Gee, I guess Walter's advice was spot on!

Walter is getting all kinds of compliments today! But don't let those positive comments ruin his reputation, right Walter?

Moose, what month are you talking about coming to FL? 9 days from now, or next month? Next month is prime season for diving with the manatees!

[Moose]

We could just set a date and invite everyone here to the reception. But if you want to be more traditional, I guess we could meet once.

I'll fly down there on the 12th and fly home on the 14th. Can you set up a dive for the 13th locally? Also, let me know when to stay when I'm in town, (whatever town in FL it is)?

Gee, I guess Walter's advice was spot on!

Walter is getting all kinds of compliments today! But don't let those positive comments ruin his reputation, right Walter?

Moose, what month are you talking about coming to FL? 9 days from now, or next month? Next month is prime season for diving with the manatees!

I was thinking in 9 days, but I could come both if the diving is right!

[annasea]

<snip>

...the most important thing you can do is to be yourself.

EXACTLY!!!

No, THAT's the problem. I always try to be myself and that's what scares the women away (well, that and the fangs, right, Caetllonn?).

Feh! I've got plenty to comment on without the fangs...