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High Maintenance or Independent


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#61 WreckWench

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Posted 09 December 2010 - 12:17 PM

Now I understand why women run away when they ask me what I do, and I respond "I'm a dive bum."


Oh please. No one is buying that women run from you. Any woman with two ounces of brain would figure out you are far more than a ‘dive bum’. I’d have a thousand questions if someone told me that, male or female.

I find it interesting that men are bothered that women take their income into consideration.


Lynn he DOES live in an area notorious for an EXTREMELY high cost of living and LOTS of beautiful women and men who make LOTS OF MONEY and use that money as a lure to be with those beautiful women.

So when he is non-traditional especially for CA...I'm sure the common response IS to smile politely and make a mental note that this is probably not the guy they are looking for.

Heck my darling lived in podunk SC and got the same response from women...then of course he is NOT a PhD like our DrBill is. BUT DrBill did not say he was a PhD Dive Bum...he merely said he was a dive bum....

I'm just saying...

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#62 Diver Ed

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Posted 09 December 2010 - 01:31 PM

then of course he is NOT a PhD like our DrBill is. BUT DrBill did not say he was a PhD Dive Bum...he merely said he was a dive bum....


I guess I can start classifying myself as a PHD dive bum also. My question is........Do I have to elaborate on the fact that PHD stands for perfectly happy diving, or do I just assume that it is a given? Ed

#63 MNJoe

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Posted 09 December 2010 - 01:35 PM

This is a great discussion, but I think some of the disagreement between people is how they are defining the terms. The original post asked about High maintenance vs. independance. You could have a high maintenance person that is independant enough to care of themselves, so the high maintenance would be a mute point. You could have a low maintenance person that cannot seem to do anything for themselves, so their SO is always having to help them out with even the smallest tasks. Of course I say these things based on how I interpret the terms.

The attractiveness thing keeps sneaking into the conversation. It is as if it is assumed that a low maintenance person isn't as physically attractive as a high maintenance person. Someone who cannot go without makeup, hair being done and all dressed up isn't necessarily going to be "eye candy". I can see the physical beauty of a woman with or without the makeup, hairdo or expensive clothing. I am impressed when I see woman that doesn't see the need to put on make up. I appreciate a woman that is comfortable with themselves so that they can go to the grocery store, gas station, home improvement store, even out for the evening for that matter, as they are. Kamala, I would be impressed with a woman that could "@!&%, shower & shave in 10 minutes" Dress clothing is so impractical. I once saw a woman wearing spike heels on a sand bar once, she was obviously high maintenance and stupid! She actually tried walking around with those heels! Whatever!

That is me, I spend a lot of time outside, in the woods and on the water. I do wear a tie to work, but when not at work, I am usually in jeans and a t-shirt, sometimes, just good old grey sweat pants and a T-shirt (I don't care what that song says!!) So my "arm candy" should be able to role out of bed, throw on some jeans, a T-shirt and a ball cap and say "lets go!" And isn't that how most of the people are when they are on a dive trip?

"just your average Joe from Minnesota, also known as Keith"


#64 lynnlchan

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Posted 09 December 2010 - 02:18 PM


I’ve supported two men, both were financial wrecking balls.


Ever considered moving to Colorado ? :)


You're way too stable to qualify. :flirt:
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#65 lynnlchan

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Posted 09 December 2010 - 02:24 PM

Lynn he DOES live in an area notorious for an EXTREMELY high cost of living and LOTS of beautiful women and men who make LOTS OF MONEY and use that money as a lure to be with those beautiful women.


I just think Dr. Bill is a hottie. (Ever since he posted the X-ray of his great big... brain.) :teeth: And I do love teasing him.
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#66 Parrotman

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Posted 09 December 2010 - 02:52 PM

Back in the days when I was dating I went out with a few "HMC's" (high maintenance chicks) and learned in a hurry that I preferred the more independent laid back type of woman. For some reason I have always attracted women that were older than myself and generally were in a higher income bracket and or social status if you will, than myself. I met my wife when I was 17 and she was 26. Although she comes from a privileged family and was well established in life when we met. She was never concerned about how much money I had etc and at that age, trust me I did not have much. We have been married now for 35 years.

On the other hand the HMC's that I dated were so concerned about image etc that they would insist on buying me clothes to wear that fit their image,they would freguently pay for dinner out so that we could go to a restaurant that fit their look. One of them even gave me a Mercedes to drive while we were dating. I learned that I was not really interested in a relationship with a woman that cared more about looks and image than they did about me as a person. At one time my father accused me of being a gigolo. Ha!

Now a days, when we are at home we hang out in sweats etc. Our clothes are full of holes because our parrots like to chew on them We look like bag people. We also live in an upscale neighbor hood and some of our neighbors are horrifed by the way we look when we are out working in the yard. I love it!

J
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#67 ThatJoeGuy

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Posted 09 December 2010 - 03:15 PM

I always thought that high maintenance was not a measure of how much work a women puts into her looks but how much work their partner puts into trying to make them happy. This would also include how much work goes into paying for things that she wants. Thus the woman who spends 3 hours getting ready, but does not need much from her partner is not high maintenance.

The women who throws on her pajamas prior to a night on the town but need a two hour pep talk and diamond earrings to not be a complete <pick your derogatory description here> is high maintenance.

Edited by ThatJoeGuy, 09 December 2010 - 03:23 PM.

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#68 WreckWench

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Posted 09 December 2010 - 03:27 PM

I always thought that high maintenance was not a measure of how much work a women puts into her looks but how much work their partner puts into trying to make them happy. This would also include how much work goes into paying for things that she wants. Thus the woman who spends 3 hours getting ready, but does not need much from her partner is not high maintenance.


LOVE IT!!! :teeth:

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#69 lynnlchan

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Posted 09 December 2010 - 03:48 PM

I always thought that high maintenance was not a measure of how much work a women puts into her looks but how much work their partner puts into trying to make them happy. This would also include how much work goes into paying for things that she wants. Thus the woman who spends 3 hours getting ready, but does not need much from her partner is not high maintenance.


LOVE IT!!! :teeth:


AGREED. :clapping: Now, care to tackle 'arm candy'?
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#70 ThatJoeGuy

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Posted 09 December 2010 - 03:57 PM

I'll cheat a bit on this one :P

According to dictionary.com Arm Candy - a very attractive person who accompanies someone on a date, as at a public event, but is not romantically involved with that person.

I would go with they look good on your arm, and they are sweet. Any other attributes are hard to notice because you keep getting distracted for some reason. :D

#71 ScubaSis

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Posted 09 December 2010 - 06:23 PM

I always thought that high maintenance was not a measure of how much work a women puts into her looks but how much work their partner puts into trying to make them happy. This would also include how much work goes into paying for things that she wants. Thus the woman who spends 3 hours getting ready, but does not need much from her partner is not high maintenance.


LOVE IT!!! :teeth:




I agree also!! Exactly what I think!!
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#72 ScubaPunk

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Posted 09 December 2010 - 08:43 PM

You all are working way too hard at this, and making it way to complicated.

Keith, you got it right.

#73 drbill

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Posted 10 December 2010 - 09:13 AM

And I know some folks will be upset by this but it's a red flag to me as a single female when a man only defines himself as a parent. Are you a son? Do you have interests? Do you have friends? Do you spend a number of hours each week earning an income? Being multi-faceted adds layers of depth and interest to a person.


As one of 50% German heritage, I am going to have to think of a good hyphenated response for my definition. You know how those Germans like to string words together. For example, my paternal grandparents both came from HuddesdorfbeimStolzenauuberWeser and the archaeology teacher at the school I taught marine biology at decades ago had a "word" for his occupation that literally stretched all the way across his jeep's windshield (in small letters).

Edited by drbill, 10 December 2010 - 09:13 AM.


#74 drbill

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Posted 10 December 2010 - 09:23 AM

Lynn he DOES live in an area notorious for an EXTREMELY high cost of living and LOTS of beautiful women and men who make LOTS OF MONEY and use that money as a lure to be with those beautiful women.

So when he is non-traditional especially for CA...I'm sure the common response IS to smile politely and make a mental note that this is probably not the guy they are looking for.


Well, the economy in SoCal has tanked (worse than many other places) but I'm still making my mortgage payments so I'm not a homeless dive bum yet!

You are right, Kamala, SoCal is full of shallow types who define their success by the McMansion they live in or the car that they drive. I've been happy to find a few women who look well beyond that towards the character of a man (and I'm QUITE a character!). I've had many others pass on me because I have no visible means of support (no strings attached). Of course that is fine with me... and I do understand that a woman may take into account a man's income as one of the many characteristics she may weigh in a decision.

I'm fortunate in that the one who seems to have chosen me is a woman of independent means who is not at all put off by my lack of significant income. Her interest in me stems from my focus on marine conservation and underwater film making (her passions as well). Too early to see where this will take me, but it certainly has been a lot of fun so far. The other one who was interested also became attracted to me by reading my weekly columns. She also appreciated my honesty when I told her that much as I found her attractive (she's not only a diver, but a real knock out), I only date one woman at a time.

#75 drbill

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Posted 10 December 2010 - 09:24 AM

I just think Dr. Bill is a hottie. (Ever since he posted the X-ray of his great big... brain.) :teeth: And I do love teasing him.


That's so sweet, Lynn. You are, too.

Edited by drbill, 10 December 2010 - 09:26 AM.





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