Ask her out for coffee? No.
If she is really interested, a good way to show it is for her to ask me out to dinner! After all, we're supposed to be on equal footing now so why shouldn't the lady do the asking if she's interested?
Believe it or not, Bill, sometime ladies DO invite the gentleman out for a date, and also get that same response.
In Simon's case, if she said "No" and changes her mind, then it is upon her to re-initiate the date. Some of us don't give out false phone numbers and do return calls.
Agree there are women who DO this and I have nothing but respect for their assertiveness (even if I decline). However, there are still a lot of women (at least here in LA LA Land) who feel the male does the asking (although they may do their best to make it obvious) and then does all the paying... for the dinners, theater, diving, her clothes, etc.
Of course if there is a significant imbalance in the incomes, this can be acceptable. What I found worked best with me was when I was with women who felt that the one initiating the date paid for it. That way they could select things to do within their budgets, and I could do likewise. I've met several women like this and the relationships generally persisted nicely until a major dislocation (usually a move by them or me to a different area).
What I absolutely dislike is when the women contributes little to the relationship in terms of initiation or expects the man to cover everything despite the fact she is earning a reasonable salary. That's the "old model" in my books. I had one woman who felt I should buy her everything she saw that she wanted (clothes, jewelry, dinners, etc.) I ended up buying her a one way ticket back to the mainland... much cheaper in the long run!
Edited by drbill, 27 August 2007 - 08:57 AM.