266 replies to this topic

[WreckWench]

Well, I'm sure glad to hear that ML is 50. I find that moves upward as we do. LOL But, as I heard a wise person once say, I may have to grow old but I don't have to grow up. I kind of keep that as my main motto.

Hee! Hee! I'm glad Terry is 50 too...if he were any younger he'd be REALLY dangerous!

WW, thank you so much for having a wonderful site where we can all flourish and bloom as much as we are able to.

Dave

And Dave you are most welcome! Its really things like this that keep me motivated to keep the site going...it surely ain't the tons of money I'm not making!

[TRINITY]

So Trinity, what's the miracle that happened??? Do tell.

I'm afraid to tell you Deb because nothing normal ever seems to happen to me,,,,,,,, but here goes, now dont laugh,,,,,,,,


It was up on the second highest point in Iowa, Pilot Knob something, (near Mason City) a couple weeks back, a funky rock structure that looks like a silo, ) I laughed when I first saw it, thinking , "how original of these Iowan's" built as part of the WPA/CCC program back in the thirties. I was with a friend taking pics of a electrical storm, north towards MN with my new camera I use for diving, (a Nikon D300) on a tripod, set with a shudder speed of 10 min. that way you get the large number of lighting bolts in a single frame. We were enjoying a bottle of wine as we waited out the shutter, that way in case the pics didnt work out it wasnt a wasted trip, or well, maybe it was, a wasted trip The storm was moving our way and thought we'd probably fold it up, before we got soaked, as soon as the shudder clicked. Then it happened, the biggest, brightest, bang, of a bolt right above us, seemingly right above us, as soon as we realized we were, still alive, we RAN! The wierd thing about it is a few years back I blew up a $300, 000 worth of electrical equipment in a power plant, the main blast was 4' to the right of me and 4' above me, ( Excel , 'Northern States Power', said I was lucky to still be alive) these blasts produce a INTENSELY strong magnetic field, strong enough to snap grade 5 bolts. Its felt these super strong magnetic fields have the ability to alter your personality, much like electro-convulsive shock therapy, without actually enduring the shock itself. I had often felt my personality was different after that incident, more agressive, higher strung, not as happy overall, nor as content. After we got back to my truck and it had started to pour, we laughed about how "close that was" and decided we wouldn't do it again, least not for awhile, but ever since then my old personality seems to be back, (thats why I said to Heidi, "I didn't want to jinx it")
Some other things I'd thought, maybe it takes a life threatening experience to pull you from a ML crisis, evil Terry thinks, its a life threatening experience thats puts you "into" a ML crisis. Maybe it was nothing, just doing something (looking back) that was pretty stupid, maybe it was a miracle, miracle we survived. I'm going to keep looking at it as a miracle, least for the way I feel. The part about growing younger throughout the day is no doubt a different attitude, then me having found some electrical fountain of youth, especially in northern Iowa TRINITY

First, I would never laugh at something you took seriously. Second, wow. Have you ever thought maybe someone was trying to get your attention? And it truly is a miracle that you are still here? Because maybe there's a reason you're still here. Something to think about. Maybe it's MY age (and I don't mind saying I'm 46), but I look at everything differently the older I get. I think I'm constantly searching for the reasons I am here, what's my purpose, what am I supposed to learn from a given situation, how can I make an impact today. OK, so maybe I think too much, but . . . I would think that event would be cause for a bit of reflection. I would say there's definitely a reason you're still around.

Thanks!!! Deb, Victoria, Heidi, Scubasis, ohhh, and you too Kamala, for the kind words, and for not laughing, its not the type of thing I would normally put out there to be reviewed, and judged, especially in type.
Victoria I dont know that, "all was put right", (cause if thats the case, I want to go back down there this weekend and yell into the sky, "ahhh, excuse me, I have a couple more points I'm wondering if we could, look at, again" things just feels much better now, maybe the difference between a miracle and a unique event is nothing more then a persons interpetation, or belief. I remember a gal I dated once asking me, "if it was a miracle, that her deaf cat, could now, seemingly hear"? I responded, "I would of thought God was busier then that", but perhaps to her, or especially her cat, it was Thank you for your kind words to me!
Deb, delightfully nice what you said, (THANK YOU!) I think it would be dandy to share a beer and share thoughts on, "thinking too much". I did take it seriously, as I do all sources of very large electrical power, that is what I do for a living is, distribute VERY large sources of electrical power, if you want to stay alive today in my field you need to be VERY respectful of it.
Heidi, ahhh, whatever age you are,,,,,,"selective misinformation", I took it to be a nothing more then an, "extreme misrepresentation, of the truth" either way, you should take it as the compliment it is, that I thought you were only 32, I dont want to start guessing from your avatar how old you are, I will be happy to guess in person, though. Maybe on the upcoming Bonaire trip.
Scubasis, thank you too, the pics turned out ok, shooting lightening as you would expect is not like shooting an octapus underwater, more like shooting an octapus from a cruise ship, WHILE its cruising. To be in just the perfect spot at just the perfect time, with the shudder held open, but I was much happy with the results of the day, then i was with the pics.
Kamala, you do make me smile, THANK YOU, for responding to me at all, ESPECIALLY at 5:30am. I look forward to dancing with you, (on my next trip, either Bonaire, or Roatan, or likely both) as we did in Curacao, just not to John, (BJmathpro's) rendition of John Lennon tunes. TRINITY

[uwfan]

Heidi, ahhh, whatever age you are,,,,,,"selective misinformation", I took it to be a nothing more then an, "extreme misrepresentation, of the truth" either way, you should take it as the compliment it is

I DO and look forward to Bonaire!!

[Dive Burro]

Personally? You kinda need to hit me on the head with something heavy. I generally assume the woman's being friendlyyouknowjustfriendlyyouknownormalfriendly because, although I would never be so foolish as to think I "understand" women, I DO understand how wildly different their thought processes and communication styles are from men's.

Edited by Dive Burro, 30 May 2009 - 11:42 AM.

[Dave L]

Personally? You kinda need to hit me on the head with something heavy. I generally assume the woman's being friendlyyouknowjustfriendlyyouknownormalfriendly because, although I would never be so foolish as to think I "understand" women, I DO understand how wildly different their thought processes and communication styles are from men's.

I hear you on "understanding" women. I was married to my wonderful wife for 35 years before she passed away and I never really understood her. And I only had to understand one ! But I'm learning to skip the "understanding" part and just learning to find a friend.

Good luck to all in the search.

Dave

[Wakemaker]

So what type of indication do you have to have to know if someone is interested in you?

She's always in my face. She says, "Why, thank you Hun." She buys matching SCUBA gear. She cheers for me even if I'm not in my game. She takes her time explaining something to me. She says, "you've gotta try this!" to me about one of her passions. She says, "We" in every other sentence.

[damselfish]

Watch the movie (out on DVD now) "He's just not that into you".
LOL. Oh NOW I know why he never called on weekends! Duh. So true..
Guys... Humpfff

[H2Oaddict]

Funny and a movie with some good points on BOTH sides LOL To bad it didn't come out years ago and I wouldn't have waisted so much time figuring it out on my own

How do you know if he's interested??? - you come up from a dive looking like a pruned wet rag doll and he tells you he's having fun

How do you know if she's interested??? - she asks you to sign her log book and put your phone number so you can go diving again

[Jellyfishluv]

Hi all! I've decided to get my feet wet again, been away for awhile

Dr Bill ~ Sorry but any gal who keeps going back to men who treat her badly will never learn or change.
I will take a guy who treats me well over a bad boy anyday. Was over my bad boy phase back in high school.

I don't have the time to be played. Doesn't take long for me to show them the door and firmly close it behind them.

I haven't read all the posts in the thread yet but I wanted to comment on this one. I actually use to think about all these issues A LOT in my late 20's, early 30's as I was actively searching for the right man to be my companion after I lost that 120lbs! It didn't matter where I went or how I tried to meet guys, I always got treated like poo and it's not because I was a Beeeeech either- of course, I've had really, really jerky guys tell me I'm insecure, "clingy", CRAZY, etc. and I learned many years ago that those types of guys turned everything around on me because they they just wanted a play pal and a situation of "don't call me, I'll call you" and "if you show any kind of caring affection you must be stupid, needy and clingy."

Of course, I knew I was none of those things. It's like they wanted me to be a soulless hooker, honestly. That being said, I never put up with crap, so I've had a string of very, very short-term "things'. So short I can't even call them relationships. I will not put up with a guys crap. But I am not interested in bad boys. I don't look for them, I don't stay with them. But it is unfortunate that many of the very best looking and most successful (and this is in my eyes as we all see things differently for the most part) tend to be jerks, at least to me!

I have a theory. It's pretty simple. If any of you have seen PRETTY IN PINK you know there is the cute, sweet, very rich and from the upper social class guy that falls in love with the poor, geeky girl from the "slums" of her town, who has friends only in her same socio-economic level, i.e. Ducky.

Then there's the villain of the move, the rich guys buddy, also 1980s prepy cute, rich upper class, implied coke-head, dating the same type of Beeeech and so the plot moves on as it should- creepy friend does everything he can to hurt poor white trash girl, etc. etc. My theory is that the hero of the story really is only a made up person. Rarely do fella's like that date and treat poor white trash good. So because I looked good I was able to meet a few of those "villain" types, those Hugh Grants a week before marriage to the rich, snotty, upper-class only by money, not by behavior beeeechs.

That being said, I've had a few guy friends that were "nice guys" but I just wasn't attracted to them physically or emotionally and no matter how many times I meet the villain from "Pretty in Pink" I'm not going to change my mind. And it has nothing to do with looking for bad boys or being clingy to abusive guys. If I can't meet someone that I don't feel like I'm settling for, then I will just have to find ways to be happy single and not dating.

Super great example: I went to the UK in April and May of this year for an archaeological dig in England and then went up to Scotland to follow a pop musician with my other "roadie fan" friends. At an afterparty for one of the concerts I met a guy from San Diego- how crazy is that! In Glasgow, at some little hoel in the wall pub playing 80s alternative music. He wasn't there for the concert or that afterparty. he'd just showed up and a penpal friend Scotland told him this was a good pub.

Anyways, we chatted and I told him I needed some friends in San Diego and that we should hang out. Now this guy wasn't ugly, in fact, handsome except for the fact that he was a bit short- too short. If he'd been 5' 11" I probably would have been very attracted to him.

In June he gave me a call and invited me over to meet his friends and for drinks. Then a few weeks later, hanging out with his friend, that is a girl , but is "like a sister" and for most of the summer it was like this. He talked about his past relationships, all the very successful woman he's dated but that he's rejected for one reason or another and one night after going out with his friend that's a girl and having lots of drinks it was just him and I watching his Tevo'ed VH1 shows. When I drank I'd crash in the spare room because I don't drink and drive.

So he decides to play his guitar and he's buzzed, and then he plays a song from my favorite artist and he's good, but he also starts looking deep into my eyes. You know the look! Well, I wasn't about to get fooled by this guy because as nice and fun as he was I needed to find out more about him. He has quite a lot of female friends and I know all about those types of guys. Great as friends but jerks as boyfriends and then they blame you for everything. I also have other reservation about changing our status from friends to something else, like he kinda is one of those 80s geeks that has to overly compensate with indie music facts and oddities, as well as who he associates with.

I totally look away and let him finish but drew the night to a close. I know he wanted me to fall for him. But he was buzzed to so I let it go. I know it but I kept him at bay and luckily enough I wasn't extremely sexually attracted to him, otherwise, I would have fallen for it and been his victim. And I say victim because slowly but surely he started to play games. I emailed him and asked him not to look into my eyes like that because he was sending me mixed signals and he denied it and said that "He'd decided he only wanted to be friends" I think that is so funny because the night we met in Scotland I was the one that left with a date that was totally sexy with that Scottish accent, not him! And that sexy Scotsmen was still emailing me at this time.

So his games started: First he tried to make me jealous by inviting me to go to the bar we'd been going to all summer with his friend that's a girl and then tells me he's meeting a date . What ever. I wasn't interested in him other than a friend. So I had a great time, chatted people up, no whoop that he and I didn't talk much that night. I just like having a few friends to actually go out with instead of going to a bar alone- how pathetic is that

By his birthday in Sept. i'd figured out. He invited me to his birthday party where all of his female friends came (god he's got so many female friends) and his ex-girlfriend from Australia. That girl :mellow:that he went out on a date with was there to. But this guy was no where to be found as he'd left to get some food. I'd been hanging out with him and the girl that hosted the birthday party almost every friday night so I felt very comfortable being there even if he wasn't at the moment. The girl he took out on a date the other hand, I felt very sorry for. She's shy, and sat in a corner and while I hung out with her a bit as I started to get my buz on I wanted to mingle. and I invited her to mingle with me and she'd tag behind me. she :mellow:was so out of place that she called her friends up (a guy) to hang out with her. Later that night I sat with them and talked their ears off.

This guy finally arrives, with the ex-aussie girlfriend and really gives the girl from the date and I the cold shoulder; I of course looked at it very adult like and thought "well, he's got a lot of friends to mingle with, shouldn't be demanding or "clingy" after all, we're just friends"- so, no matter I hit it off with some of his friends from Bristol England and we chatted it up all night!!!!

I ignored that he was playing this game. Invite me, ignore me. And i started to get busy with work and had to turn down hanging out on Friday nights. Fast forward to Halloween- I txt him to ask what he and his friend that is a girl is doing and again, one of his annoying traits, he tells me he's going to his french friends house party. He elevates himself by having all these foreign friends, or female power professional friends who absolutely don't understand the professional level of an archaeologist because they are caught up in the main stream race.

Ok, i may not be the only female senior partner in a law firm in Australia like , but I love what I do- I am a paid archaeologist. And, I work for State Parks. Those power hunger lawyers (and I know some are on here- sorry!) and marketing and relations people bore me!!! And I am not impressed, at all. Which by the way, I made clear at his b-day party by shooting down everything that 6 foot 3 redheaded Aussie said about her cases- as I've studied law in depth and can carry quite a conversation in legal mumbo jump myself. I actually felt bad by stealing her lawyer glory in our conversation and she didn't talk to me the rest of the night.

Oh yeah, Halloween. So he invited me to his friends house party. So instead of going to to a club like I did lst year and having a great time I thought I'd hang out with "friends" turns out, not. I looked so freaky cool that night.
So many people told me how cool I looked.

But before I tell you about that I have to tell you that about 4 before the party he emails me the address to the house and tells me he's going to hang out with his buddy John before for some male bonding. So I'm thinking, he's going to hang out early and we'll go to the party around the start time. So I txt his friend that is a girl that I've been hanging out with and who has txt me before telling me I'm like family and she says she's got something she needs to do before the party and she :whip:to will meet me there. So I told both to txt me when they get there because I don't want to show up to a strangers house and say "so and so invited me"

Well, 2 hours past the party start time passes and I'm sittin all alone, looking cooler than hell and so excited to get out there and have fun and no one has txt me yet so, i call him . He tells me he's gettin his drink on and he'll be heading to the party in an hour and a half. i told him I couldn't get my drink on because I had to drive so I asked if a bar was near by and I was suppose to go there and he'd txt me when they were heading to the house party but then I decided to do my online quiz that was due Sunday night just in case i really did party all night and have a hangover and be tired. So I got to the area just around the time they wanted to head over.

So we get to the party and his french friends greet me with open arms- the guy and the woman absolutely loved my costume! Everyone complemented me and I felt like 1st prize winner. Because I didn't eat anything all day I was already feeling buzzed from the one vodka drink I'd had at his friends house before we walked to this party. then he brings me a shot of tequila- something I never drink anymore. then some really cute, very tall, 24 yr old opened my smernoff ice and then gave me one. Then He (the main guy of the story) gave me another shot of tequila. I made the wrong choice!!!! I was really buzzed and started chatting to the really cute guy, in a friendly way, not like I thought anything would happen and his girlfriend walked up so i started talking to her. The reason I started talking to him was because the guy that invited me wondered off and left me with his 5 friends that were dressed like hookers except for the one I've hung out with every friday who was dressed like the hamburglar, we being cliquey and ignoring me while one of his male friends, that I'm very attracted to, but is married, kept telling me I looked hot.

So I'm chatting up this couple ignoring the obvious- that this was all a weird game for him and i still don't know if it's because I rejected him from the get go, or if he really thinks he's rejecting me, or if it was planned to be cruel all along. Anyways, he comes up to me and says "we're going to the party across the street" and I said ok that I'd be right there- i was just finishing my comment to those kids- i couldn't be rude!!!

So I go to the party across the street and the people there were totally impressed with my costume. I was offered a drink and I told them i was looking for my friends- so I was welcomed in and allowed to the backyard and when I couldn't find them these people were like "your hear now, hang with us" well I met a girl and chatted awhile but then said I needed to go and find my friends even though I knew they weren't my friends. So I txt him and he txt backing that they are all at a party off of such and such a street- like 6 miles away! They just totally ditched me. Well, I was determined not to let that happen so in a cab I went but was dropped off 4 blocks south of the cross street. On walking towards the location I was invited to another party and by this time I I was a bit upset because all I ever asked from him was friendship and we got along so well but, what ever.

So I hung out with a bunch of strangers til the wee hours of the morning and I lost my phone. I emailed him a few days later to tell him my story and totally played it cool about being ditched. Then he starts emailing me, telling me that the rumors are that that popstar I was in the UK to see has AIDS and what do I think (this popstar proclaims to be asexual, and honestly I don't care bout his sex life. Then questions on how I felt about someone throwing a bottle at the this popstar who had just been in the hospital 3 wks before with "illness" (the AIDS he was asking me about) . So I told him. I said why does he ask me questions to things I've already posted my thoughts on- to find out if I'm some silly minded fool or to see if I have feelings and I told him I do have feelings but that if someone does something to me intentionally to hurt me I'm not going to show the hurt because maybe the intentional tort will be less enjoyable to the sick person that likes to hurt people on purpose. I was hinting that I know his game. And if he wasn't playing some sick mind &#$@ game, my statement was general enough that he would know I just don't take kindly to cruelty.

The next day, he blocked me on facebook. What a weirdo

So, because i hate the idea of him being able to see into my life but that I'm blocked, I blocked the 3 people we share acquaintance with- one is the girl he took on a date and invited me and his other friend that is a girl; the other is the Scottish guy from Glasgow that strangely enough shares the acquaintance with that penpal of I mentioned- btw, that Scottish guy was suppose to come visit me in March but I just didn't trust him either and so when he'd email me and tell to to email him any time about my feelings, I knew... keep my trap shut because I felt a trap or a sick game about to be played out. And the last was a girl from his birthday party that I talked to until the early morning hours. She's a bit butch but I don't discriminate.

Thank god I only added 2 people i met throw him. and given we didn't talk much on facebook and I probably would have never just contacted them to hang out, I don't feel bad about blocking them to keep my life private from him. Although, my myspace is open so anyone can look at it.

The Scottish guy, well, I think the whole thing was a set up or a test- but maybe I'm just paranoid. as cute as he was, the fact that he sounded like a 13 yr old girl in his emails really started to turn me off. And I had no intention of being a cute guys green card into AMERICA

IF YOU TOOK THE TIME TO READ THIS, THANK YOU! I just needed to tell someone and since I trust just about no one in my other social networks I've said what I've had to say, here.

Edited by Jellyfishluv, 15 November 2009 - 02:57 AM.

[justscuba]

All I can say is WOW! and to think I was looking at/in all the wrong places/people. lol

[Landlocked Dive Nut]

Oh, joy. My divorce is [finally] going to be final in 3 weeks, and THIS is the current dating scene??? I think I'll just make friends, and if something develops from that,

[WreckWench]

Dang it girl...if it weren't for bad luck you'd have no luck at all.

I will say the costume was HOT!!!

Next year wear it to the Cozy Halloween party and go DIVING! The price is CHEAP! And there were TWO winners who won a FREE dive trip including Hotel to Cozy anytime the next year including our Annual Halloween Party since the costumes were so great!

You could of had a free trip and had a great time. Ok ok so maybe the bucks are really tight so you couldn't go this year...but start saving now and remember...the peeps were REAL...no games and we had lots of great peeps to hang out with! kamala

[WreckWench]

Oh, joy. My divorce is [finally] going to be final in 3 weeks, and THIS is the current dating scene??? I think I'll just make friends, and if something develops from that,

Not sure if jellyfishluv has been married before but she is still a 'youngin' so in the prime dating scene.

Having just left it and been part of it all my life...it was always a bit of a downer to me. Its like needing a loan... a bank ONLY wants to lend money to those who don't need it. And men only want to be in relationships with women who don't want one.

[Jellyfishluv]

Dang it girl...if it weren't for bad luck you'd have no luck at all.

I will say the costume was HOT!!!

Next year wear it to the Cozy Halloween party and go DIVING! The price is CHEAP! And there were TWO winners who won a FREE dive trip including Hotel to Cozy anytime the next year including our Annual Halloween Party since the costumes were so great!

You could of had a free trip and had a great time. Ok ok so maybe the bucks are really tight so you couldn't go this year...but start saving now and remember...the peeps were REAL...no games and we had lots of great peeps to hang out with! kamala

Oh, ,money has been so tight WW. I don't make a whole lot in my current position but I've learned so much in the last year and half and in archaeology it's tough to get a full time paying gig, especially in California, so I consider myself lucky, at times, to work for the State, that pays half the prevailing wage and offers no health insurance or benefits. If there was a possibility of advancing within State Parks system from this classification to the next which pays double, offers bennies & Healthcare, well then I wouldn't feel so taken advantage of sometimes. Still, I know many unemployed archaeologists.

And the reason there's practically no chance is that the State only offers the qualifying exam ever 4 or 5 years and they just offered it this last year. After taking the written exam, if you pass, you take the oral exam and the scores are combined and you are ranked on a "qualifying list". Then, if a position opens, which rarely does, you apply and interview, but, they have to interview by rating on the list so if I scored an 83 and 30 people scored an 84 they'd have to interview every person with an 84 that applied before getting to me. And, in addition to that, State Parks has just listed 3 Archy jobs in Sacramento to fill the positions of 3 retired State Archaeologist- most people don't leave their job until they die or retire and the current pool of State Archaeologist's are my age and have about 30 years before retirement- so not a whole lot of positions opening up in the near future.

I can always keep my figures crossed, but when the right position comes along I will probably venture off and if I return to State Parks some day, that wyou be great because I really like our Parks and our Mission to Protect and Preserve.

I'm looking at Federal positions at the moment and some private sector but in California they want someone to have 5-10 year experience to hire you in do do any of the thinking, otherwise, you just get hired on as a shovel bum, i.e. physical laborer with knowledge.

The point is, is that at my current position, I make enough to get by and thats about it but thats not good enough for me, but, I consider myself financially secure.

I can live on rice and beans for a long time.

btw, WW, I've been meaning to post on here forever and see what everyone is up to but my mind is so bogged down with other things. Scholarship and grant essay, research proposals, working in the field which requires so much of my time, etc., etc.

I've seen all the great trips, WOW, I wish that mega millions lotto ticket hit for me last week

I looked to see if there are any SD social events near San Diego, and there aren't, what's up with that?

I'm headed to Jacksonville, FL for a conference in Jan. After that, I have to baton down the hatches on spending for away. but that doesn't mean I can't hang with ya'll

Edited by Jellyfishluv, 15 November 2009 - 11:22 AM.

[WreckWench]

I looked to see if there are any SD social events near San Diego, and there aren't, what's up with that?

Well I need a volunteer to help with that! By the way I hear the bennies are great...you get to meet cool people under the banner/auspices of diving and well if chemistry happens... hey...it worked for me!